Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Fundamentalist new-agers

In an earlier post I wrote bitterly about how fundamentalists on our school board are introducing policies that have no business in a public school. However, it's becoming frighteningly clear that fundamentalism in any form is rarely attractive. I'm referring to those people who are at the other end of the spectrum from those mentioned previously: Hard-core New-agers.

It sounds innocuous enough, but they can sometimes be as narrow minded as any extremist. It's not that I'm against alternative methods, because I'm not. They are, as a whole, completely convinced that they are superior to you and I because they use herbs and chakra stones instead of Western Medicine. They will, furthermore, tell you that if alternative healing methods don't work for you, it's because you aren't open to it, you're coming from a "bad place", you have too much negative energy, or because your body is too corrupted by a lifetime of Western medicine, which as we all know, is corporate greed. Then they go and spend $50 on some herbs and crystals.

Now, let me be the first to tell you that I take Black Cohosh for my hot flashes and Valarian when I need to sleep. They kick ass, as lots of herbs do. However, Recently I remarked offhandedly altnerative healing methods didn't seem to be working for a friend of mine. I was immediately rebuked in that calm and loving but oh-so-superior tone by a fellow classmate who informed me that she is a "Reiki master" (I had to look that up; I assume she was talking about "Reiki", the healing touch, and not "Raki" liquor produced in Eastern Europe or the Japanese monster) Anyway, I was told was that natural healing worked but might take 6 to 9 months, and I needed to be patient because "people who are used to Western Medicine are used to things happening really fast".

Well, I'm here to tell you that I'm A-OK with things happening fast. I have severe asthma and don't think I'd like to wait 6 to 9 months to feel better. I take a kick-ass drug--an evil, western one, mind you--that has changed my life, and has had not more side effects than a temporary sensitivity to spicy foods the first year that I took it. I've been taking it for 3 years, and after years of using a rescue inhaler several times a day and going to the emergency room several times a year, I'm about 99% free from my symptoms and happy, thank you very much. And I didn't have to be open to it, or worry about my negative vibes. It just worked. Awesome.

I have a history of not being very popular around New Agers because of their love affair with crystals and my love affair with statistics. Plus, with a degree that included a lot of coursework in geology, I'm adept at studying a "crystal" and stating, with authority: this isn't a natural crystal, you know, it's man-made or stating blandly, you know, quartz crystals have the exact same chemical composition as window glass. You could meditate to your windows and save a whole lot of money.

An it's not that I'm against alternative methods, because I'm not. What I'm referring to is people who say that all western is corrupt, oppressive, and evil.

That's just silly.

Extremism of any kind is silly. Saying that you know the whole, complete truth and believing it is silly.

That's all I have to say. Thank you for letting me rant.

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1 comment:

  1. Ha! I love your rant.

    My wife was just saying the same thing not long ago about all fundamentalists. We don't run into as many of the new-age variety here in Virginia Beach as you probably do in New Mexico (with that whole Taos thing going on), but I have been accosted a couple of times by this "type" in our local health food store. It's like listening to a telemarketer, but it's more difficult to tell them to p!ss off due to what you so accurately phrased as, "their calm smooth loving voices."

    Anyhow, thanks for the laughs!

    By the way, like you, my wife also is vegan, went down in clothes size this year, and ran her first endurance race (half-marathon) last month. Could you two be related?! Uncanny.

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