Tuesday, September 12, 2006

I run.

"The question is," the pseudo-intellectual smirked,

when the topic turned to running
and runners,
"What are they running from?"


What am I running from?

I'm running from a size 16, 14, 12...
and a number on the scale,
from a lifetime of bad habits,
from hating my body
from a family history of depression and obesity
from diabetes
from a genetic predisposition to heart failure.

I run.

I run from the past,
from pain,
from ten years of smoking,
from asthma,
from fallen arches
from, "too old"
from, "too late"

I run.

I run from feeling trapped,
from feeling like a loser,
from past regrets,
from things I wished I'd done differently,

I run from the back of the pack,
from DNF,
from "you're too slow,"
from "you must be crazy,"
from, "isn't that hard on your knees?"

when I run,
I run to nowhere in particular.

I run alone,
without fanfare,
without audience,
just me and the pre-dawn darkness
and my footsteps.

I know I'm slow,
and I run like a girl.

Try and keep up.

...

15 comments:

  1. Thank you. I needed that.

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  2. Ah, running. It does so much for us.

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  3. Love the post. It certainly hits home.

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  4. "I just felt like running."

    Forest Gump

    Great post, Misty!

    I don't know about you, but I'm more than a little scared about 9/24. I raced last Sunday and saw some of the folks who are organizing this half and they told me I could stay out there 9 hrs if I needed to. I feel ok physically (except for being fat) but struggling mentally. Can't seem to focus on anything long enough to accomplish a task--even simple stuff. I think I'll just have to lighten up and not worry about speed and just enjoy the day. Now if only I can find someone to stay with my bike while I do the run--because everyone might be gone by the time I finish. I usually go to all my races alone--everyone is so busy with other things.

    Please tell me how you handle your pre-race jitters--especially for a new distance.

    Mary

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  5. Awesome post. I might have to print that out and put it on my wall. It's great, thanks for sharing.

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  6. That gave me chills. I also will print that for my wall, if you give me permission. :)

    Wow. I still have goosebumps. Amazing post!

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  7. i am totally priniting this and putting it on my fridge....beautiful post

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  8. Beautiful. Right. On. The head.

    Thank you

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  9. Fantastic post. Thank you for the reminder.

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  10. oh, that's a fantastic post. Someone on my blogroll linked to you today, and I'm having a grand time reading through some of the old posts. Just so you know. :)

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  11. Anonymous10:07 AM

    Beautiful. I am printing it right this minute!

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  12. This is great. I love every word. Certainly going to link it from my post today. Thanks for putting the link to this on the side bar. :D

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  13. thank you...just, thank you.

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 I'm no longer involved in multisport or endurance sports. I've started my own business, a psychotherapist specializing in anxiety d...