NEXT EVENTS: IRONMAN BOULDER 2014

It's never too late to be what you might have been. --George Eliot

This blog is about my journey as an asthmatic, hypothyroid, formerly plus-sized endurance athlete. It's occasionally interrupted with things that have nothing to do with that or whining about my weight and horrible eating habits. "You're never too old to be what you might have been" --George Eliot

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

I run.

"The question is," the pseudo-intellectual smirked,

when the topic turned to running
and runners,

"What are they running from?"


What am I running from?

I'm running from a size 16, 14, 12...
and a number on the scale,
from a lifetime of bad habits,
from hating my body
from a family history of depression and obesity
from diabetes
from a genetic predisposition to heart failure.

I run.

I run from the past,
from pain,
from ten years of smoking,
from asthma,
from fallen arches
from, "too old"
from, "too late"

I run.

I run from feeling trapped,
from feeling like a loser,
from past regrets,
from things I wished I'd done differently,

I run from the back of the pack,
from DNF,
from "you're too slow,"
from "you must be crazy,"
from, "isn't that hard on your knees?"

when I run,
I run to nowhere in particular.

I run alone,
without fanfare,
without audience,
just me and the pre-dawn darkness
and my footsteps.

I know I'm slow,
and I run like a girl.

Try and keep up.

...

15 comments:

  1. Thank you. I needed that.

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  2. Ah, running. It does so much for us.

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  3. Love the post. It certainly hits home.

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  4. "I just felt like running."

    Forest Gump

    Great post, Misty!

    I don't know about you, but I'm more than a little scared about 9/24. I raced last Sunday and saw some of the folks who are organizing this half and they told me I could stay out there 9 hrs if I needed to. I feel ok physically (except for being fat) but struggling mentally. Can't seem to focus on anything long enough to accomplish a task--even simple stuff. I think I'll just have to lighten up and not worry about speed and just enjoy the day. Now if only I can find someone to stay with my bike while I do the run--because everyone might be gone by the time I finish. I usually go to all my races alone--everyone is so busy with other things.

    Please tell me how you handle your pre-race jitters--especially for a new distance.

    Mary

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  5. Awesome post. I might have to print that out and put it on my wall. It's great, thanks for sharing.

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  6. That gave me chills. I also will print that for my wall, if you give me permission. :)

    Wow. I still have goosebumps. Amazing post!

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  7. i am totally priniting this and putting it on my fridge....beautiful post

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  8. Beautiful. Right. On. The head.

    Thank you

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  9. Fantastic post. Thank you for the reminder.

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  10. oh, that's a fantastic post. Someone on my blogroll linked to you today, and I'm having a grand time reading through some of the old posts. Just so you know. :)

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  11. Beautiful. I am printing it right this minute!

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  12. This is great. I love every word. Certainly going to link it from my post today. Thanks for putting the link to this on the side bar. :D

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  13. thank you...just, thank you.

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