Narcisisstic post #100

This is my 100th post. To honor this occasion, I've decided to share many things you maybe didn't know about me.

I tried to come up with 100, but didn't quite make it. In no particular order, here they are:

1. I spent nearly all of my childhood in Hoover, Alabama.
2. I spent my teenage years in Dallas, Texas.
3. But I'm still a left-wing, a-theist Vegan liberal.
4. That means the other Southerners won't hang out with me.
5. I eat white sugar, and I'm sick of salads.
6. I don't believe in astrology or reiki because they aren't supported by empirical data.
7. That means the other Vegans won't hang out with me.
8. I don't have a Southern accent.
9. But I have seen a tornado.
10. It sounded just like a freight train.
11. I was hyperactive as a kid.
12. I used to forget how to eat.
13. I never had problems with my weight most of my life.
14. Then in my thirties, I learned how to cook.
15. After I learned how to cook, I started eating and boy, did I gain weight.
16. I lost part of my hearing when I was a baby.
17. I didn't know I was hearing-impaired.
18. I just thought I was just "right-eared."
19. Now I wear a hearing aid.
20. When people annoy me, I just shut it off.
21. Sometimes it gives feedback in a loud, piercing tone that only I can hear, and when the batteries are dying, it beeps continuously until I change them or shut it off.
22. Sometimes when my hearing aid beeps at me, I forget myself and talk back to it while I'm in public. I say things like, "Okay, fine, just a minute. Jeesh."
23. In college, I double-majored in Earth Sciences and Education.
24. That means I have a degree in rock-collecting.
25. But I have all summer long to do it.
26. My mom was a professional artist.
27. Once, my mom was teaching me how to draw faces, and she told me that my nose was not in proportion to my face.
28. Then when I was 37, I got a nose job.
29. I broke my arm once.
30. I slammed the car door on it.
31. My mom didn't believe me.
32. And waited 5 days to take me to the hospital.
33. I don't want you to think I didn't have a great mom.
34. She was just really distracted.
35. I once got attacked by a turkey.
36. I was trespassing on a farm in Alabama.
37. I wanted to pet the cow.
38. I have one sister.
39. Her name is BariLynn.
40. She is the pretty, sensible one.
41. My sister had one child, after she'd been married many years to a sensible man, in a home in a nice neighborhood with decent schools.
42. I had three children right after high school before I could afford them and before I had a house and was divorced almost immediately.
43. I'm the weird sister.
44. But my life is more interesting.
45. When I was a freshman at U. South Dakota, I had a 3-month-old, a 3-year-old, and a six-year-old.
46. I bought a house in South Dakota for $2,500.
47. That's not a typo. I lived in it while I was in college.
48. Unlike college dorms, nobody cared if I put nails in the walls.
49. Actually, some of the walls were missing.
50. And some of the windows.
51. And the pipes leaked.
52. And some of the wiring was bad.
53. But it got me and the kids through college.
54. I used a wood stove during blizzards.
55. I pretended it was really really nice camping.
56. Once I accidentally set my house on fire.
57. The town it was in didn't have 911 service.
58. So I put it out myself.
59. I got a third degree burn on my foot.
60. Two days later, the volunteer fire department showed up.
61. They gave me a sticker for my phone, so that I'd know who to call, the next time I accidentally set my house on fire.
62. I painted over the burned stuff with latex house paint and RUSTOLEUM.
63. You couldn't really tell the difference.
64. When I was in high school, I helped my friends with their math.
65. They paid me in cigarettes.
66. When I was in college, I helped people with their computers.
67. They paid me with bags of disposable diapers.
68. I met my husband in college.
69. The first Christmas gift he gave me was an Eastwing Rock hammer.
70. I was thrilled, because I'd always wanted an Eastwing Rock hammer.
71. I taught high school math for nine years.
72. Most educational administrators don't understand math.
73. So I could tell them anything about what I'm teaching, and they believe me.
74. When I was ten, my dad moved us to Japan for two years.
75. Star Trek sounds weird in Japanese.
76. But yakitori is Awesome.
77. And now I'm hooked on Ramen.
78. (But not if it has dead animals in it)
79. While I was living in Japan, my parents sent me to a private Catholic girls school.
80. Yes, one of those uniforms.
81. And now I have Catholic guilt, and I'm not even Catholic.
82. I have four cats.
83. I'm not, like, a cat collector or anything.
84. I tried to join the air force once.
85. I taught computer classes at a university in Alabama for six months.
86. They "requested" that I give, extra time for the athletes to complete their assignments, but only the athletes.
87. I resigned a month later.
88. I will not leave the house without lipstick on.
89. And I wear makeup during triathlons.
90. This weekend, I'm doing SOMA (you probably already knew that.)
91. I'm still the weird sister.
92. And my life is still more interesting.

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