Monday, February 06, 2012

Motivation issues.

Dear Diary,

Well, shit. Its been an unusually cold winter. Wherer's my hairspray? (she said, standing outside and spraying the CFCs into the atmosphere...bitch, I don't car about global warming. I'm cold now.)

So I have yet to follow my training plan for one. Single. Week. What the hell is wrong with me? For whatever reason I get all weird when it's cold outside. So i tried asking myself the questions I had on my last post: 

What's the worst that could happen?

Seriously? You are reading the blog of the queen of worst case scenario and I have the expired prescription for Xanax to prove it. I could trip, fall into an arroyo into a pile of brush and not be found. Slowly, I would freeze to death as coyotes feast on my carcass.  Eventually, a gully washer would wash my remains down into the Rio Grande, and be covered over with silt and never seen again.

What's the likelihood of that actually happening

Pretty low, I guess.

Then why aren't you out there running right now?

Because I'm a giant wheenie. And a big wuss. A cold wuss. The pathetic part is that I'm also a heat wuss. Truth be told, there is a very narrow window in which I consider it acceptable to run outside, and it's between 50 and 65.  That's not as narrow as my cycling window, which is between 68 and 73 when it's partly cloudy and there's no wind.   But it's even more complicated than that. Behold, my decision-making rubric:


10-20 degrees F.            No.        Fucking.        Way.         Ever.

20-30 degrees F.         Nope.        Nope.         Nope.        Nope.

30-40 degrees F.         Maybe.        Nope.        Nope.        Nope.

40-50 degrees F.         Yes.          Nope.        Nope.         Nope.

50-60 degrees F.          Yes.          Nope.          Yes.          Nope.       

60-70 degrees F.          Yes.          Maybe.         Yes.          Nope.

70-80 degrees F.          Nope.       Maybe.      Yes.          Yes.

80-90 degrees F.          No.           Fucking.      Way.        Ever

So, as you can see, the ideal conditions are, well, my house. Or the gym. And the occasional spring or fall day. 

So long as it's not windy.

I should mention that I will hike on some of the cold blackout days. Like yesterday, when Baboo said, "hey, wanna go on a hike with me?" and I thought, heh. He's injured. How bad could this be? I should know better by now. Dammit. We climbed over 1100 feet in 3 miles. It was icy ladders and stairs, covered with sand, the whole way.

Meanwhile, I've generated another training plan. That I intend to follow. No, really this time.



  1. I love that rubric. I'm totally stealing it. I'd have to switch TM with running outside, though. I'd way rather run in the cold than on the treadmill. I'm too clumsy.

    Here's hoping you getting some better weather, and soon!

    P.S. So far I'm 2 weeks into my 50k plan without missing a run. This is unprecedented territory for me. Of course, there's plenty of time ahead for me to slack when it counts more, never fear.

  2. That is the best decision-making tool I have ever seen. Genius.

  3. Your rubric is so incredibly awesome I am printing it out to keep and treasure forever. Unfortunately I can't laminate it and put it on my desk blotter because it has the F-word and the children who come in my office (oh, yeah and the parents) would FREAK OUT. I will still treasure it forever because it is right up there with my magic formula for how it must be perfect for me to want to be outside in the actual weather for running and especially biking where I find wind truly disgusting.

  4. You should trademark that rubric - totally awesome! I hate running in the heat but if I dress right and don't ask myself if I *feel* like going for a run, running in cold is good.


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...and I, I have a goal.

Dear Diary, For the first time in 7 years I have a goal. It takes a lot to get me motivated.  I am the demotivation queen.  The princess...