How do you plan for an ironman?

Today I'm mostly thinking in print. So how do you plan for an Ironman? Well, if you're not incredibly lazy, you train more than me. But I, of course, am lazy. So here's my totals:

May's totals ....................2008 totals (so far)
Bike: - 282.5 Mi..................... 1042.1 Mi
Run: - 84.29 Mi.......................368.48 Mi
Swim: - 7430 M (4.4 mi)......20730 M (12.5 mi)

These days, I waver between feeling excitement and dread, and worry and confidence. It's a hell of a rollercoaster. And like all rollercoasters, it nauseates me. Erp.
And even though my training has been far less than it should be, it's far more than my training last year. Yyyesssss, that's right. This year I was sorta lazy, but last year I was lazy SQUARED and i paid the price. I finished, but if they hadn't extended the cutoff I would not have. So I'm counting on this training thing coming through for me.

So here's how the planning breaks down, after the cannon goes of at 7am on June 22nd.

SWIM: At IM-LooAvul I swam in 1:31, and I'm fine with this. I will probably be a bit slower this year because the water will about 20 degrees colder. I'll be wearing whatever neoprene is allowed, and I'm confident about beating the cutoff at 9:20 am.

T1: At IM-LooAvul this took about 11 minutes. I should be able to knock about 5 minutes off this. I'll be pulling on cycling shorts, into which has been smooshed a LOT of Baby Aveeno and Sports Slick, a sleeveless jersey, arm warmers, thick cycling socks. Sunscreen applied to my shoulders and arms and nose. Sunglasses.

The Bike: My nemesis. This is what will make or break me. At At IM-LooAvul my bike time was 8:55. 8:55, and the bike cutoff is 5 pm. I've got to take about 45 minutes off my time. yikes. The weather at IM-LooAvul was mid-nineties with about 70%+ humidity. IM-CDA is supposed to be cooler - by as much as 15 degrees - and drier.
Nutrition: My nutrition at IM Loo worked, so I'm not going to change that. De-fizzed coke and three SportLegs capsules at mile 0 and mile 56. Gatorade the rest of the time. 2 Fig Newtons at mile 0, 30, 60, 90 with plain water.

T2: At IM-LooAvul, this was 20 minutes, because I sat down and cried. Think I'll avoid that this time. I'll change to a long-sleeved meshy long-distance running shirt, RaceReady Long Distance Fitness Shorts, of course the insanely sexy Injinji socks, my NB768s, and my Garmin.

The Run: The part I'm worried about least. The bike cutoff is 5 pm, after which I'll have 7 hours to finish the marathon. At IM-LooAvul, I did the marathon in 6:20, when it was hotter and much more humid. I'll be carrying my inhaler, SportLegs, and blister bandaids. I'll also be carrying a hand-held water bottle. My Garmin will chime every minute.
Nutrition: Same as IM-LooAvul, coke with ice and SportLegs capsules at mile 0 and 13. Powergels every 2 miles. Gatorade throughout.

So that's the plan, i guess. I'll be fine-tuning it over the next couple weeks.
Goal: Finish before midnight.

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You Will Do This.

It doesn't matter how many times I see this video, it still chokes me up. And I am not a gal that gets choked up easily.


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Dazed and Confused.

So now I've come to the part of Ironman training that I refer to as the dazed, stupid part of training - because most of the time, I wander around in a fog. I can't think of the right words to say and most of my conversations involve phrases like, you know, that thing. Everyone has to say stuff to me twice, because the first time they say it, it barely registers that they've even said something.
Oh, they said sometime to me, I think.
I wonder what it was.
And then finally my brain
makes my
mouth fall open and I say, "WHA--?"

And then, remember that there's two of us, wandering around in a fog. So the house is falling apart and our system of doing for each other what we don't do ourselves is falling apart.
A scintillating conversation between me and the Sweet Baboo these days is likely to be something like:

Hey, did you get, you know, the thing? That thing you were gonna get?

Wha--?

Did you get that thing?

What thing?

you were saying something this morning. About a thing. A thing you needed to get. You know. Stuff.

Do you remember what it was?

What?

The thing - do you remember what it was?

What thing? Huh?

What?

Oh, never mind. This is wearing me out.

Oh, Yeah: It's a regular McNeil-Lehrer Hour over here.
Meanwhile, my body is screaming for food!! Now, I don't really feel hunger, and I was raised in the south, so in place of hunger I have inappropriate food impulses. For intance, if my body wants carbs, I crave potato chips. Although sometimes I crave chips if I'm low on sodium, too. It's complicated. If my body screams for fried chicken, which I don't eat because I'm a vegetarian, then I know I need protein. So lately, these days I'm wondering around in a fog, my attention diverted sharply by KFC billboards and Frito-lay trucks.

So in this fog I embarked on my last "long ride" today which was, to say the least, disappointingly slow. I was just whipped. I couldn't get my legs to move and when I did, they hurt like hell. Not injury hurt, but the "leave me the hell alone so I can recover from all this running and cycling" hurt. My ride had over 4800 feet of climbing, and the temperature was in the nineties when I finished.

My overall pace was about 13.7 mph. And the little voice whispered, maybe you just suuuuuuuuck. I tried mightily to ignore it, but as you can imagine when you're kind of kind of in a fog, emotional strength and self-esteem gets the back burner so that things like pedaling and drinking at the same time can be done.

And it was in this fog that I did not wear any sunscreen today. Yeah. 6+ hours in the New Mexico sun. Luckily, only my legs and arms were exposed, but I now have this super charming tan on my legs that Pirate refers to as "Neopolitan legs": brown, red, white.
My feet and torso are white. The rest of me is in various shades of red and brown.

And I'm tired. But now the taper starts, sorta.

Now I'm going to eat a pizza and drink a gallon of Gatorade and
stare at the TV, slack-jawed, until I fall asleep. I'm watching, uh,
that show. With the people. And the stuff.

...

More progress.

I went to Cochiti yesterday with Cindy. I cut a couple slits in the neck of my wetsuit, and took some advice: I stood in the 58 degree water and let the water fill my wetsuit, and then waited for the water to warm up inside the wetsuit, and then stuck my face in the water and blew, to get over the shock of the cold. And then, I was fine. Holy cow, that wetsuit is snug, but I can move in it. Baboo asked if I needed a larger-sized wetsuit, but I told him what I really need is a smaller-sized me.

I'm planning to try to go out there twice next week and do the full swim each. I feel what I can only describe as about 1000% better about the swim at CDA.

I did my long run today using the Galloway method, which I've been practicing on my intervals. I had read an article a while back that suggested that based on my current ability, I should run 1 minute/walk 1 minute. I never did this because I figured, I already walk 5/run 5, so what's the difference? Well, the difference is that I can run much faster for 1 minutes intervals that I can for 5, with means that the proportion of time that I spend running will have a lower overall pace. Also, I'm finding that my pace on my running intervals is coming down.

My average pace for 15.3 miles was --tada-- 12:46 per mile.

BOOya!! I have NEVER gone under 13 at that distance before!

This is what the Galloway method looks like on a Garmin readout:

I figure at least part of it is the interval training, and the other part is the ten pounds of jiggle I've lost.

With regard to my feelings about Ironman CDA in THREE WEEKS there is a continuum from "feelings of impending failure" and "very optimistic." I have now moved past "freaked out" and and more toward the "Cautiously optimistic" about finishing comfortably before midnight.

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Better now.

I'm over my hissy fit. I guess, deep down inside, we all fantasize that we'd be terribly missed and that people will chase after us: "No, wait! Give us another chance, PLEASE????" By the way, thanks for all the nice hugs, blogger peeps. You guys are awesome.

I spent most of last night staring at the bike profile for Couer D'Alene looking for some clue, any clue, that it was going to be easy. I didn't find one. Then I compared it to Ironman LooAvul:

The blue jagged line is the Kentucky Ironman profile. The grey one is is CDA. What I see is that neither is necessarily easier, and the distance between the lowest and highest points is similar. However, it looks like CDA gives more recovery time, whereas LooAvul was just unrelenting hills. Anyway, that's my take on it. Don't burst my bubble.

Then I got all panicky and decided I needed to climb Tramway again this morning, but then when I woke up I realized: My legs are tired and I need a day of rest. I haven't taken onc since last week. I'm going to hit a Yoga or Pilates class, and I also have to get my books for my classes next week - I'm taking classes this summer on PTSD and substance abuse.

I was at 156 lbs this morning (that's about 11 stone and 71 kg for our international friends). Dood, I feel ALL small. The good kind of small. But, I'm noticing all this loose skin. I guess if you blow up a balloon enough times it's just not gonna go back to i's original size, is it?

Pee ess: Mike's hard lemonade is 5 WeightWatchers points. In case you wanted to know.

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Thanks for the memories, now go away.

So today I went down to the district office for my final "checkout." This is where, I've come to realize, that they make sure you aren't taking off with all manner of equipment, such as, who the hell knows. Textbooks? Wire in-baskets? AND they wouldn't check me out until I turned in (yesterday) my annual reflection of my year as a teacher. I'm not making that up. I was tempted to just type, "I'M QUITTING. HOW DO YOU THINK IT WENT?"

I was looking most forward to the exit interview. where, ostensibly, I would have my say. I would be pleasant, diplomatic, but be clear on why I was really leaving. Because, you figure, an organization wold want to know why it was losing an empoyee that had been with them for eight years, right?

In a nutshell, I was planning on saying this:
I've worked hard and never caused problems; the worst rule I've ever broken was perhaps parking where I shouldn't. Every year I have received the high ratings on my evaluations. Every school counselor I've worked with thinks I'd be really good at counseling, and I hold a master's degree in educational psychology, and a second master's degree in counseling.
I've applied for ten counseling positions. Of the ten applications, I've been interviewed twice. The rest of the time I wasn't contacted, not even to be told when the position was filled. Five positions were at the school where I've taught for six years.
Whenever the people they hired (from outside the district) left, I would reapply for the same opening that I hadn't been hired for--only to hear about the new hiree when it was announced at the next staff meeting, usually someone from outside the district. At least two counselors of the ten had never even worked in a school.

So I went to district, loaded for bear.

And then, well

and then, they handed me my exit questionnaire.

It wasn't an "interview at all". They don't really want to know why a veteran employee is leaving. It's all just bullshit. They asked questions such as:

• Do you have any problem with any of your supervisors?
• Do you have any problem with your pay?
• Do you have any problem with your benefits?
• Do you have any problem with your leave?

I answered no, no, no, and no. And then I summarized a little of what I said above, adding this:

I have no complaints about any aspect of my employement here: I liked all my supervisors and my pay was fine. I live in and care about this city. However, Rio Rancho appears to have a policy against promoting their teachers and frequently hires support staff from outside the district. If I were afforded the opportunity to work as a school counselor I would have stayed indefinitely.

I got to look in my file. No letters of incident, nothing but good evaluations and rehires.
I turned in the questionnaire to a junior member of HR who appears to have just graduated from high school herself. I have no expectation that it will ever be read, or that if it is, that anyone will care. I think I saw her put it in my file.
I'm just one person of about 20 who quit just at my school alone.

I doubt that I will be missed - they'll just hire another teacher. One who knows her place and stays there. We're expendable, I guess.

And then I turned in my badge.

And then I left.

And now I'm crying and I don't know why.

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My limeric - late, as always...

Here's my entry to the tri-blogger limeric-mania. Such as it is.

I'd like my entry cast.
But I fear that that I was not fast
So here is my rhyme
and just like every time
I fear I'll be Dead F*****g Last.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Story of GeekGirl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Athena was just such a mess.
And ate way too much, I confess.
I didn't like sweat
But to get thinner, I bet
I'd rather move more than eat less

Most of the weight I've now lost.
And emotional baggage I've tossed
And you know that i'm slow
But you'd better know
The number of finish lines I've crossed.

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