How do you plan for an ironman?

Today I'm mostly thinking in print. So how do you plan for an Ironman? Well, if you're not incredibly lazy, you train more than me. But I, of course, am lazy. So here's my totals:

May's totals ....................2008 totals (so far)
Bike: - 282.5 Mi..................... 1042.1 Mi
Run: - 84.29 Mi.......................368.48 Mi
Swim: - 7430 M (4.4 mi)......20730 M (12.5 mi)

These days, I waver between feeling excitement and dread, and worry and confidence. It's a hell of a rollercoaster. And like all rollercoasters, it nauseates me. Erp.
And even though my training has been far less than it should be, it's far more than my training last year. Yyyesssss, that's right. This year I was sorta lazy, but last year I was lazy SQUARED and i paid the price. I finished, but if they hadn't extended the cutoff I would not have. So I'm counting on this training thing coming through for me.

So here's how the planning breaks down, after the cannon goes of at 7am on June 22nd.

SWIM: At IM-LooAvul I swam in 1:31, and I'm fine with this. I will probably be a bit slower this year because the water will about 20 degrees colder. I'll be wearing whatever neoprene is allowed, and I'm confident about beating the cutoff at 9:20 am.

T1: At IM-LooAvul this took about 11 minutes. I should be able to knock about 5 minutes off this. I'll be pulling on cycling shorts, into which has been smooshed a LOT of Baby Aveeno and Sports Slick, a sleeveless jersey, arm warmers, thick cycling socks. Sunscreen applied to my shoulders and arms and nose. Sunglasses.

The Bike: My nemesis. This is what will make or break me. At At IM-LooAvul my bike time was 8:55. 8:55, and the bike cutoff is 5 pm. I've got to take about 45 minutes off my time. yikes. The weather at IM-LooAvul was mid-nineties with about 70%+ humidity. IM-CDA is supposed to be cooler - by as much as 15 degrees - and drier.
Nutrition: My nutrition at IM Loo worked, so I'm not going to change that. De-fizzed coke and three SportLegs capsules at mile 0 and mile 56. Gatorade the rest of the time. 2 Fig Newtons at mile 0, 30, 60, 90 with plain water.

T2: At IM-LooAvul, this was 20 minutes, because I sat down and cried. Think I'll avoid that this time. I'll change to a long-sleeved meshy long-distance running shirt, RaceReady Long Distance Fitness Shorts, of course the insanely sexy Injinji socks, my NB768s, and my Garmin.

The Run: The part I'm worried about least. The bike cutoff is 5 pm, after which I'll have 7 hours to finish the marathon. At IM-LooAvul, I did the marathon in 6:20, when it was hotter and much more humid. I'll be carrying my inhaler, SportLegs, and blister bandaids. I'll also be carrying a hand-held water bottle. My Garmin will chime every minute.
Nutrition: Same as IM-LooAvul, coke with ice and SportLegs capsules at mile 0 and 13. Powergels every 2 miles. Gatorade throughout.

So that's the plan, i guess. I'll be fine-tuning it over the next couple weeks.
Goal: Finish before midnight.

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