Friday, May 20, 2011

On salsa, and gloating, er, BLOATING, and other things.

Transport shuttle at the Kalamazoo
Marathon.






Dear diary,
Himself.
14.  The app I bought for my iPad to post my blog does not edit HTML.  So that's why I'm late.  I'm stll working on it .

13. Today is my favorite day of all, my very, very favorite.  Today is the day that I eat a shitload of food and tell everyone that I'm not binging, I'm "carb-loading".

12. My body held its usual post-race bloat a little longer than usual last week. I was starting to worry. By Friday I was still about 7 lbs up, and I had to keep reminding myself that, well, I certainly had not eaten an extra 10,000 calories over and above what I had run last weekend so there was no reason for me to have actually put on that much weight, but you know, pants don't fit, worry sets in, and I started catastrophising.
  • I am gaining weight.
  • My clothes will not fit anymore, and thanks to dp, I have no more more fat clothes.
  • I will have to do all my shopping at garage sales.
  • I will look like an old bag lady.
Finish chute at Kalamazoo.
But then Saturday, I did my imitation of a racehorse (not being fast. The other thing) and my weight dumped about six pounds. I am not sure when I will reach a point where I am not weighing myself twice a day.
 
11. Sweet Baboo suddenly and inexplicably asked me if I was interested in salsa dancing lessons. With him.

FOUR.
I kinda thought it was a joke at first; men are notorious for avoiding the 'dance' word...so I said yeah right. Turns out, he was not kidding. We started looking online at YouTube videos and even the beginning ones look incredibly complicated. Ulp. But there is no turning back now.
It turns out that classes are reasonably priced, fit into our schedule, so well...here we go.
I told him, you know that this is another reason women will hate me, don't you? But,well, there you go.

10. I did my first session as a volunteer for Women In Training Saturday. I led a group of about five women, including Daughter, on a one-minute-on, one-minute-off jogging and walking workout, with a warmup and cool down, with some stretching before and after. I really enjoyed myself and regret having so many Saturday races coming up.

9. How does a person eat half a bottle of low-fat ranch in a sitting? Can anyone tell me that?

Finish Line.

Himeself, finishing his
fourth marathon in 3:45
 8. Sweet Baboo took a physical fitness test for the guard. He did 62 pushups, ran 2 miles in 13 or so minutes, and met the weight requirement. He smoked all the young bucks. :-D  Hubba hubba!

7.  Just for future reference, if your teenage son is caught at the seen of a crime weilding a gun after having taken something that doens't belong to him, you don't get to say he doesn't have behavior problems.
This isn't about any one particular case; this is about half a dozen cases I've seen over the past few years. 


I no longer turn off my
Garmin until after crossing.
6. Tuesday, Daughter declined to do the first workout of the week because her knee hurt.  I'm not pushing this.  It has to be her decision. 

Ranch dressing fountain.  I'm not saying
I don't love the stuff, but c'mon.  There's
other condiments out there. 
5.  Update to number 9, above: the entire bottle of ranch was gone by Monday (it was purchased on Saturday).  This lead me to google ranch dressing, and I came up with this: fat girl ketchup.  Go ahead, Google fat girl ketchup

4.  Sweet Baboo and I are signed up for an 8-mile run at the Acoma Pueblo.  It's a rugged trail run, like most of the ones they have there, that takes you on lands that outsiders are almost never allowed to be on.  The Acaoma Pueblo is either nearly the oldest or the oldest continuously inhabited settlement in North America which, if you read up on it, is true of several pueblos in New Mexico.

Some examples of Acoma pottery.
 Prizes, which I will not get but will admire greatly, are ceramics created by Acoma craftsmen and women who revere running.

3.  Yesterday Sweet Baboo and I were talking about the Jemez trial 50k that we're doing tomorrow, and he said something offhandedly something about not getting home until 9 at night.

9 at NIGHT?  What on earth are you talking about?  I figure it will take me seven hours, eight tops to do a 50K

"Misty, you know how long it took me to do this last year? Ten hours."

>cricket<   >cricket<

oh. 

shit.

I forgot about the profile.  That's probably good because it saved me from a full-blown panic attack, but still, here it is:
See that first bump?  The one that stops just short
of 9000 feet? Yeh.  That's where I quit last year. 
2.  I got a landline from the cable company.  It was cheaper than paying daughter's cell phone bill, and this way she can get messages from prospective employers (please, please, please let her get those messages) anyway. So, but, I know from exerience that a cordless phone will disappear and we'll spend most of time looking for it, and most of the time it will be in the guest room where daughter is staying.  So instead, I plugged in this:

I know, right?  And yes, it works.  However. You cannot press "1" if you wish to continue in English.  You can't even dial it.  You just have to stay on the line while the voice command repeats several times. 

You see, my philosophy regarding having children living at home after they are old enough to hold down jobs and pay their own rent is a simple one: make the house as inconvenient and annoying as possible to expedite their leaving and their motivation to do so.  This includes restricting internet use, having annoying, old-fashioned appliances, and maybe making loud sex sounds that freak them out. 

So far, none of this has worked.  I'm open to ideas. 

1.  - Posted from my iPad -  This is awkward, I know. After years of mocking ipad and iphone owners, I is one.  Just so you know, none of my opinions are written in stone.  I can be won over by a reasonable, valid argument based on evidence.  Or very good electronic gadgetry.

...

5 comments:

  1. You know what this means, right? Shopping for super cute salsa dancing clothes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If loud sex noises from your parents don't do the trick...what would?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Catastrophising is a pretty cool word.

    Congrats to S.B. for crushing the young guys AND then manning up and actually coming up with the idea to salsa dance rather than being drug along.

    You know that now anyone googling "fat girl ketchup" is going to hit on your blog, right?

    That pottery is fantastic.

    And my mom has a rotary dial phone in her basement. It's been there since before I was born, and I'm 38 now. It still works, and best of all I'm pretty sure she finally stopped paying AT&T rent on it a couple years ago. :)

    Good luck at Jemez!

    ReplyDelete
  4. If there were any way I could train for altitude down here at sea level, I'd bust my butt to get fast for that Acoma run. I toured the pueblo a few years ago with my dad and I love their pottery, as my home decor can confirm!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You could try only having disgustingly healthy food in the house so that the only tasty, high fat food that she could eat came from her own purchases. Then she would have to get a job to be able to purchase them. It does sound like you pulled out the big guns with technology deprivation and no limitations on your connubial enjoyment.

    ReplyDelete

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2016

Even though I was in awful shape in 2016 I was still stubborn and foohardy...so I spent a year running down whatever fitness base I had left...