Sometimes I fantasize during long runs. Of course, I'm doing much more trail running lately, so what I'm experiencing has changed my fantasies somewhat. Here is a few of them:
Fantasy #1.I'm running along nice, wide trail, when a dog comes running up to me. It nearly trips me by running up to me and jamming his nose in my crotch. He's not on a leash, even though we are in a city open space where leashes are required. Their owner comes into a few seconds later, calling out, (somewhat impotently) Now, BOYD, stop that.
I reach into the refrigerated bag I've brought with me for one of the objects inside, and fling it at the owners face. It hits his cheek with a splat, sliding down slowly and dropping onto his shirt. HEY, WHAT THE HELL?!? he screams.
"It's a cat hairball," I explain. "I figure that if I have to put up with your pet's behavior, then you should put up with mine. I'll meet you by your car in an hour so I can claw the crap out of your upholstery."
Fantasy #2
In this fantasy, I'm running along nice, wide trail in Sandia Wilderness area, when a couple of dogs come running up to me, and I nearly trip over them. They are not on leashes, even though we are in a national park. I point this out to the owner, and she puts them on leashes. Although annoyed, she is adult enough to recognize that it was she, not I, who ignored a posted rule, so she doesn't scream, hiss, call me names, call me a dog-hater, or insist that I should be on a leash. We exchange pleasantries, and go our separate ways.
In this fantasy, I'm running along nice, wide trail in Sandia Wilderness area, when a couple of dogs come running up to me, and I nearly trip over them. They are not on leashes, even though we are in a national park. I point this out to the owner, and she puts them on leashes. Although annoyed, she is adult enough to recognize that it was she, not I, who ignored a posted rule, so she doesn't scream, hiss, call me names, call me a dog-hater, or insist that I should be on a leash. We exchange pleasantries, and go our separate ways.
Fantasy #3
A man/woman is running along behind their dog, who is several hundred yards ahead, chasing squirrels, other runners, etc. A ranger comes along and writes the man a ticket for ignoring the posted leash rule. The owner decides to fight it. He gets Judge Judy, who says, "So what are you
bothering me for? You chose to ignore the posted rule. Leave me a alone, and pay your ticket."
A man/woman is running along behind their dog, who is several hundred yards ahead, chasing squirrels, other runners, etc. A ranger comes along and writes the man a ticket for ignoring the posted leash rule. The owner decides to fight it. He gets Judge Judy, who says, "So what are you
bothering me for? You chose to ignore the posted rule. Leave me a alone, and pay your ticket."(Notice that in none of my fantasies are Mr. Doggers hurt. I don't believe in hurting animals; they are being themselves. Nor do I fantasize about bad pet owners being hurt.)
Fantasy #4
In this fantasy, I'm running along nice, wide trail, when a couple of dogs on leashes come running up to me with their owners. We exchange pleasantries, and I ask if I can pet their dogs. I rub Mr. and Mrs. Doggers behind his ears, but not too much, because I'm allergic. We go our separate ways, the owners happy because it's beautiful and they're outside and they won't have to worry about Doggers bolting and possibly scaring up a bear or mountain lion, and the dogs happy because they've been taught to live within boundaries set by their owners. I'm happy because I wasn't tripping over someone's dog going down a steep and rocky trail.
In this fantasy, I'm running along nice, wide trail, when a couple of dogs on leashes come running up to me with their owners. We exchange pleasantries, and I ask if I can pet their dogs. I rub Mr. and Mrs. Doggers behind his ears, but not too much, because I'm allergic. We go our separate ways, the owners happy because it's beautiful and they're outside and they won't have to worry about Doggers bolting and possibly scaring up a bear or mountain lion, and the dogs happy because they've been taught to live within boundaries set by their owners. I'm happy because I wasn't tripping over someone's dog going down a steep and rocky trail.
Fantasy #5
Two people are sitting in their living room. "Hey, I'd like to let Mr. Doggers run free today," one of them says. Since dogs are required to be leashed due to a county ordinance, they work together to find the locations of city parks or private land where that is allowed. I never see them, or their dogs, that day, because they made the responsible choice not to force their pet ownership choice on other people by breaking rules that they don't like.
Two people are sitting in their living room. "Hey, I'd like to let Mr. Doggers run free today," one of them says. Since dogs are required to be leashed due to a county ordinance, they work together to find the locations of city parks or private land where that is allowed. I never see them, or their dogs, that day, because they made the responsible choice not to force their pet ownership choice on other people by breaking rules that they don't like.
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