Saturday, March 03, 2007

It's all Jane's fault.

So I'm sitting here all flemmy and coughing and I don't know why and I know I'm going to miss my long run tomorrow and I've decided that it's all Jane's fault.

I've tried experimenting: taking benedryl, and then waiting for it to wear off, and then a compresensive cold medicine, and waiting for it to wear off, and then a comprehensive allergy medicine, and waiting for it to wear off; the hypothesis was that if I compared the results among all three, I could tell what it was from which one actually worked. The experiment was a complete failure because none of them worked, and I think Sweet Baboo is tired of the very wet sounds coming from my head, but loves me too much to do anything but turn up the volume on whatever it is we're listening to so he doesn't have to hear it. He hates bodily excretions, and so do I.

Sunday is normally my long run day, and I'm probably going to try trotting it out on the treadmill, because slow running is about all I can handle right now. Even on my normal days running I produce an impressive amount of snot, but right now even I find myself disgusting, so I'm going to try popping a movie in and stay indoors, not just because it's 20 degrees in the morning here but also because I've had a bit of dizziness along with my generally flemmy snottiness, and as I mentioned before, it's all Jane's fault.

It's all Jane's fault because last week were at an Outlaws meeting and I was kinda sorta but not really bragging about how I don't get cramps, or join pain, or blisters, so nothing keeps me from running outside my own laziness, and she kind of gasped and said, "You better be touching wood when you say that," and I was so I just smiled.

What she didn't tell me, and this is why it's all her fault, is that I was perhaps leaning on laminate at the time instead of solid wood, which for the evil genie that hammers us when we say things like, "Oh, nothing ever keeps me from running," doesn't count. So the evil genie wammied me to remind me to never take anything for granted and that I'm mortal, after all.

The best I can manage right now is about a slow-run pace on a treadmill. I can't do speedwork and I can't run outside or I'll drown in my own snot or double over in some kind of coughing fit.

So now, I finally get it. I've been feeling bad for Sweet Baboo when he couldn't run because of various maladies and broken bones, but in a loving, wifey sort of way. I didn't actually feel his pain, just sensed a general crankiness about him. I also felt bad for Jane, and Helen, and various other friends of mine who have had awful injuries and couldn't run, but I didn't understand what it was like to not be able to run. But now I get it.

There's a huge difference between not running out of pure laziness and not being able to run. The latter is so frustrating that it makes me feel a combination of anger, dispair, and dread that I'm hurtling back through time to the time when I hoped feverently to be able to run a whole 5K some day. As I'm sitting up in bed coughing and blowing my nose I imagine that I can feel the muscles in my legs atrophying. I imagine that I can see the layers of fat forming on my body, my tendons stiffening, and my resting heartrate rising 20-beats to what it used to be, my whole body reverting to it's flabby, former self, unable to even handle a flight of stairs.

So, okay, I get it. And I'm touching real wood this time.

...

16 comments:

  1. Yeah, I've wondered about the dangers of tempting the gods while merely touching laminate woods. You have confirmed my suspicions.

    Hope you're feeling better soon!

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  2. Running always gives me temporary relief from nasal issues. But if any of this is in your lungs too, you're smart to stay in tomorrow.

    It'll be okay. You won't get fat and flabby, and you'll be out there running again in a few days.

    It only feels like forver. :-)

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  3. GG- one word. Mucinex.
    Doesn't matter what's going on, it'll dry it all up. Get a few gallons of water for the needed hydration.

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  4. GG- one word. Mucinex.
    Doesn't matter what's going on, it'll dry it all up. Get a few gallons of water for the needed hydration.

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  5. weird, glitch in the matrix, dejavu on the comment ah?

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  6. Well dear, I'm sorry. I really am. I wish the dreaded Lurgi on no one, and truly not on anyone I like!

    On the plus side, I hope to have kicked (some of) the snot out of the little viral buggers before I passed them on to you, so maybe you'll have a reduced version?

    I blame my People - they brought it home first...

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  7. Please find attached a HUGE parcel of sympathy - when you've actually found your running mojo and then you CAN'T becuase of an icky COLD.... words cannot express how vexing that is.
    Get well soon

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  8. You poor thing! I'm thinking about you!

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  9. Hope you feel better soon.

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  10. totally off-topic (b/c I can't find an email link)
    have you ever raced in a tri-suit? I have to replace my race shorts & I've found a killer bargain tri suit which I won't get to try on - so any feedback about how comfy they are for your taller more feminine-figured athlete would be appreciated.
    Hope you're feeling better soon

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  11. OMG, where did you get the South Park avatar? That rocks.

    Sorry to hear your sick. Very little keeps me from working out, too, but a month ago I caught a virus that knocked me out. I could barely walk a 17 minute mile. Take care of yourself. May the virus/bacteria/allergy leave you soon!

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  12. Oh no! Now I really feel bad about how I spent last week.

    I sure hope the change in weather brings you some relief!

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  13. Feel better. I hope you get back into your running groove soon.

    With my allergies, I get full of phlegm on many of my runs. I try not to look too gross spitting it out.

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  14. Doesn't it suck? I hate being down sick. Seems like we'll never catch up with our planned schedule afterwards...

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  15. I hope you are starting to feel better!!

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  16. hey - I have killer decongestants now - want some?

    I'm not sharing the antibiotics - go get your own.

    ReplyDelete

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