Afterwards, they said I was a good girl, and gave me m&ms. I'm not making that up.
The sonogram specialist said, probably Hashimoto's Disease, which doesn't change my treatment or anything like that; just gives us a "why."
This morning, however, the endo Dr. read the results and apparently, it's not just patchy and enlarged but also has a couple lumps, which he wants to biopsy. It's called a "fine needle aspiration" and apparently, according to him, not too bad. As for the possible results, "it's probably nothing," he said. In fact, it's more likely than not "nothing," but better to be safe, and just in case it is "something," it's very early.
He just kind of shrugged when he said that, so I was somewhat reassured, but it's the first time I've ever heard the big scary C word uttered--and uttered oh, so casually--in a doctor's office. He further said that everything about me, other than my thyroid, is excellent: calcium level, blood pressure, lungs, eyes, cholesterol, et cetera. I put aside the immediate recollection of comments about my mother before she died if it weren't for her heart, she'd live forever and focused on the positive. I'm in excellent health, except for my thyroid.
He gave me a new prescription for 1.0 of the Synthroid, which seems to be working for me. My Free T4 and Free T3 are right smack in the middle of their reference ranges, and my TSH is now 2.03, which is "excellent. " Everything about me excellent, except for my poor, enlarged lumpy thyroid, which seems to be under attack from--get this--me. That's what an autoimmune disorder is, after all.
We discussed my weight. Actually, *I* brought that up in the context of having had some very poor self-image problems and how I'd realized that this was a problem for me, but he seemed to miss what I was saying, because he said, "well, you're not ugly, you're just overweight."
Oh, yes he did. I put aside the shock of hearing those words to segue to the fact that I'm running 10-20 miles a week and biking 40-80 miles a week and haven't lost an ounce in over 16 weeks, and he said, okay, lets do some blood work. He asked me, was I was thin most of my life? Yes, I was. I was a boney kid, but filled out when I was a teenager; still, I was 120 pounds when I graduated from high school. I was 135 pounds after recovering from my third childbirth. Now here I sit, at 175 pounds, averaging 1500 calories a day. He gave me orders for blood work, specifically, Cortisol and ACTH hormone.
Time to Google. And obsess. And worry. And reassure myself.