Thursday, February 18, 2010

Upsides most men will never understand: Thursday Thirteen.

Last week I mentioned that I had discovered by accident that a pontytail in wet hair, at least at my current length, resulted in an attractive flip the next day, and stated that this was an upside that men would not understand.  

We know that we are mysterious creatures.  So, this week, I present to you: other upsides that men will never understand (but should).

These are things that matter. As the old song goes, Sometimes it's hard to be a woman.  These are things that will cause us to stop bitching about our weight and our periods and complaining about life in general, they are like Christmas in July.

13.  Finding the right person who does your hair, with just the right balance of bossiness and gratuitous flattery, depending on your needs.

12.  Workout clothes that are comfortable AND flattering, and don't go out of production after one year.

11.  Those unexpected mentions of how hard we work. You don't have to fawn all over us; we won't respect you if you do--but those occasional mentions, almost off-handedly, you know, sometimes I look at what you do--the kids, work, all that stuff, and I realize how hard you work.  I just wanted you do know that I appreciate this.  (Sweet Baboo, as you might imagine, is a master at this). Set your watch for about every 19 days.  That should do it.

10. The right shade of lipstick, on sale, not because it's being closed out.

9.  Figuring out a way to do your hair so that at the end of a sweaty marathon or ride, you still look good.

8.  Figuring out how to stand when your picture is being taken near or during an event.  DP is a master at this, and I will figure out how she does it.  And I will copy her shamelessly. 

7. That Valentine's day fuss, that we weren't expecting, that included a big shiny bag from Vickie's and another one from BathNBodyworks.

6.  That one doctor that finally figures out how to solve that embarrassing ____________ problem (fill in your own blank).

5.  A nice couples run in which we're not reminded consistently of how slow we're going, but just how much fun you're having being with us.

4.  Things that come in pink.  Like, iPods, cycling gloves, jump drives, CDs, etc.

3.  That Ebay seller who didn't realize the briefcase they were selling is LODIS, not LODI, or maybe it was just a typo, so that you get it for $20, all because you searched for "red leather briefcase" and it popped up.  (For some of us, this is like a hole-in-one: it's one of those stories we talk about, to people who will understand the significance, forever.  FOREVER.)

2. A perfect pair of jeans.

1. I leave this one blank for the ladies out there to fill in ______________ ?



  1. Anonymous8:50 AM

    Love it! yes, these are great things.

  2. I think that we (men) think you (women) are much prettier than you think you are. It is true, we might not comment on (or notice) the shade of lipstick, how your hair looks from one day to the next, your new bag, your workout clothes and we don't know which is your best "side".

    We're more simple than that. We just think you all look pretty...every one of you, in your own way. We may not comment on the details, but we're visual and we like how you look. Please don't stress over the details. We're in.

  3. Anonymous9:46 AM

    A shout-out to the men who aren't afraid to admire a woman's hard-earned muscles. The ability to sling a paddle in kayak water polo, the strength to climb when power-to-weight ratio fails us... with traps and lats and delts just popping out all over the place.

    That's poorly worded- but I haven't had any coffee yet. Just wait.

  4. haha number 9 made me giggle!!! So true!

  5. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it...I wish I could write like you :)

    I have blog envy

  6. Much of this went right over my balding head, but I did get the vagina squirrel joke.

  7. After reading that list I cannot deny the truth staring me in the face. I must be a man.

  8. Oh yeah!! Especially the ebay one! Love the cartoon, hilarious.

  9. Love it. A fill in for #1, How comfortable, supportive and sexy undergarments can make you feel confident and powerful in even the most intimidating environments....even more than a power suit which everyone sees. I'm guessing boxer briefs just don't have the same effect as a kick ass bra.

  10. I loved the list. If anyone has pointers on number 9 for someone with collar length, wavy to curly to frizzy hair in super humid conditions, I'd love to hear it.

    I'd love to see some DP photos so I can pick up some pointers. :)

  11. Let's hear it for the spell check challenged. For without them, deals and steals on eBay would not be half as joyous. That briefcase is super covetable.


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