13. Where you've been v. where you're going. This week when we watched an episode of "Heavy" on A&E one of the people asked the question, is it harder to have been in shape and then gotten out of shape and tried to get back in it again, or is it harder to have never been in shape and try to get back in it?
I don't know what the answer is. Sweet Baboo and I talked about this briefly - he was a heavy child, but then a high school football player, base ball player, and Marine Corps rugby player. I wasn't an athlete, but I was thin most of my life. So, both of us had the experience of having been smaller, or thinner, or at least in shape. But, so, I still don't know the answer to that question; is it more painful to look at others who are smaller and see what you have never been, and want to be, or to have seen yourself at a smaller weight and know what you used to be? Is it more painful to go where you've never been, or go back to where you came from?
I had the same problem years ago, when I went from being a welfare mother to being a college graduate, but it wasn't like I was coming from that...I came from a middle class, white-collar family, made a bunch of stupid decisions, and wound up on welfare. I knew where I was going back to. I still don't know the answer to that question about which is harder.
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| Nice thought, but utter bullshit. |
It's more of a boost to my feelings about myself, and what I'm capable of, to do something that requires a lot of preparation, and that is hard for me to do. So maybe that's why.
11. ZEN and PAIN. It happens in trail marathons and 50ks now. I zone out, get busy running, but only because there isn't any pain. I don't transcend pain until I stop having it. It all just hurts like hell until my body is used to the distance and then stops hurting, and I look for that, and wait for it, because I know it will happen. I know how much my first half marathon hurt, and then my first marathon, and now they don't hurt at all any more. Only in building up my endurance do I feel that. I'm approaching that in 50-milers now.
10. GAAAA! This week was midterms week, and it was the week for me to be reminded of a certain person affiliated with my university who I hate with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. I will write more on this some day when I am no longer dependent on this other person for grades, signatures, and approvals. 9. Joy. But, Tuesday of this week was proof of goodness in the universe: while waiting in line at Starbucks in the drive-through, an employee went around giving out little cups of coffee. To the people in line. Waiting for their COFFEE.
This week: a very special Twilight Zone, where Misty waits for coffee and is given coffee while waiting for it.
Now, there are skeptics who complain about lines at the drive-through. I just consider myself lucky to be living in an age where I can sit in my car for a few minutes, and someone will brew me a nice latte. Nope, no bitterness here.
8. SLOTH. After taking a month off from training and dieting, I am back on both. Last week was a 40-mile build-up week, and I finished 39.5 miles of it. This week is a 45-mile week, and I'm already behind, but I'll be caught up soon. Every 4th week is a "recovery" week, so next week will only be 30 miles. Ahhh.
7. Marathon: The RDs have posted the Run Through Time marathon profile, which is this Saturday's run.
Behold:
6. Love. When I sit in a chair and type this wearing my fuzzy pink robe, I have a grey tabby who sits behind me and licks my furry pink robe repeatedly. When I put on my pink furry robe, in fact, she starts purring as she walks over to me.
5. SHOES. I bought girlie shoes this week, all heels. I have gotten into the habit of putting shoes into an online "basket" at ShoesonaShoestring.com and checking it periodically to see if any have dropped. I'm sticking to Clarks, Born, Aeresoles, and Sofft for now to build a base working wardrobe. I've found that 2.5 to 3" heels are my limit, with 2.5 inch being the ideal, and I avoid stilettos because of the rough blacktop and gravel and lawn I have to walk on.
True, sometimes they sell out before they get to my ridiculously low target price (between $25 and $40), but once they're there - bang, they're mine. My target price is ridiculous, too, but hey, there will be other shoes if they sell out.
4. MIDTERMS. So far, as of the writing of this, I have done well at midterm in two of three classes. I have no results from the third class yet. I'm not holding my breath. That test required listing things, and I suck at that. I can ace any multiple choice test, and I do well on essay questions, but when it comes to rote memorization, forget it. I'm a math type person. I can solve problems and analyze. I'm not a parrot. Still, this is my waterloo - I need to study the crap out of this class before finals.
3. M-M-Movie. Sweet Baboo and I saw the King's Speech. Highly recommended. I loved the use of Beethoven's 7th in the climax. That was also used in Mr. Holland's Opus, another favorite of mine.
2. Easter Candy. I am avoiding Walgreens for the next month or so, for obvious reasons. There are peanut butter eggs, truffle eggs, coconut cream eggs...the list goes on. It's evil I tell you. Evil.
1. I am required to watch a movie about a dysfunctional family for my family therapy class, analyze it according to a theoretical orientation, and formulate a treatment plan. Any suggestions of such dysfunctional family movies are welcome. I'm considering About Schmidt for now, but it seems complicated, and I haven't made up my mind.
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