Thursday, April 23, 2009

and then there's the girl.

Hey, mom, I was wondering, um...

Yes?

Well, you know I was wondering, I really like Albuquerque a lot. If I was to come out there to live, if I could--

No.

--could I, could I, stay with you while I--

No.

--wow. You didn't even let me finish. I was going to say, 'stay with you while I look for a new job and a place to live.'

No.

Wow. Um. that was fast. um. I'm not trying to argue or anything...can I just ask why?

Because it is not a good idea for grown children to live with their parents. Because if you don't have me to fall back on, you'll be more careful about decisions you make. Because I love you enough to force you to be more careful about how you live your life.

so, hey, you lived with grandma and grandpa, right?

I did. Boy, that was a bad idea! I love you too much to make the same mistake that they made.

you love me too much to...no, wait. What?

Besides, I had a child, leaving an abusive marriage, and already had a good job.

...you had...so if I had a child would, you, could I--

Sweetie, moving to a strange city with no job or place to live is how people wind up homeless prostitutes. Then they have their children taken away by Children and Family Services. I don't want to visit my grandchildren in a foster home. Do you want me to visit my grandchildren in a foster home, do you dear?

I, uh, no. Um. What grandchildren? I don't even have kids yet, mom.

That's good. They make a 3- month shot now, you know.

Dad said I could live with him if needed to.

That's sweet. Say hi to your Dad for me. Are you still in that cult?

It isn't a cult. It's a real religion. Mom--

Yes?

never mind. I have to go back to work now. I love you.

I love you too, kiddo. Call me anytime.

...

5 comments:

  1. lol. in a good way though :)

    you know her best and whether it'd be beneficial or hindering for her to stay with you for a short period of time. i moved home for a few (~4) months after graduating and transitioning to my real world job, but then got my own place. part of that was still "uggh i need my own space!" attitude of course.

    you still sound like a good parent to me!

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  2. Yes, you make a good point - I should have mentioned that we've tried living in the same place twice, and it always ends BADLY with screaming, tears and a one-way ticket.

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  3. wonderfully funny...strong of you to say "no". That's being a realy parent. love it!

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  4. You made me go give my cat a kiss. Thank you for reminding me to be grateful. ;o)

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  5. You have my empathy on this. It's SO HARD. My hubby and I struggle with his son (my stepson) - He's 28 years old and just wanders from job to job. The couple of times he had a good job he was fired. We recently found out he's been homeless and trying to live off "friends" for most of 2008.
    Each time we find out stuff like this we wonder if we should step in? Then we think of all the times we have helped him and his mother and her husband have helped him and yet he continues to lack progress towards a decent and healthy life. Where does a parent draw the line? It's SO HARD.

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