They watch what I eat and drink and wear and take careful notes. They report back to headquarters, or the home office, or wherever, and records are kept.
I know this, because whenever I fall in love with a product, it is immediately disontinued. I'm serious. If you love something, don't you dare tell me about it, because if I love it too, the men in black will make it disappear.
Case and point:I discovered a Maybelling foundation last year that was the perfect color and type of coverage. I mean PERFECT. COLOR. Mock me if you will, but such a thing for those of us to whom it matters is a blessing. I managed to get through two bottles before the men in black noticed, and then when I went to Wal-Greens today to get my favorite makeup I saw, with sinking heart, that the rack was nearly empty and contained only shades that I will never be tan enough to wear. "Discontinued," the makeup counter lady said. Ugh.
This is what has set me off on my rant today.
I've also had similar problems with lipsstick and eye pencils that last too long - heaven forbid something last a long time because somebody finds out and POOF! It's off the market.
Case #2: Splendor Perfume.
This delightful perfume smells like hycinths and lilacs. In the 2 years that I enjoyed it, at least half dozen strangers asked me what I was wearing. That has never happened before or since with any other perfume. Most of them were men, and loved it so much they wanted to get it for their wives. I would advise them, Go to Dillards, to the Elizabeth Arden counter, and don't tell you wife you smelled it on another woman. There was lotions and cremes and powders in the same scent, and different sizes of the stuff. I fell in love. I bought the largest bottle they had, and then the Elizabeth Arden minions sprinted to have it discontinued. Now, like many discontinued items I love, it lives only on Ebay.
Case #3: Hanes Sport Bra
I purchased this very simple, comfortable sport bra at Target. It was reasonably priced. At some point after I decided I loved it so much that I'd like to wear it every day, and went to buy more. Before I could do that, however, the evil monkeys at Hanes hurridly snatched them off the market. I can't even find a picture of them any more. They're replaced them with some horrid cheap thing that's thin and uncomfortable.
Case #4: Morning spark.
This caffeinated sugar-free beverage is AWESOME. I love the cranberry and grapefruit flavors the most. I hate most carbonated beverages, and don't care much for coffee (I go through phases, and this is currently a non-coffee phase), so this instant stuff, which I found at WalMart, has been a blessing. I wrote the company and said as much, and was immediately informed that they were going to dicontinue those flavors. They'll still carry the ones I don't care much for. When I found out they were dicontinuing it, I bought about a case of it. I have some at work and some at home, but some day I'll run out.
Case #5: Honda's hatred of me.
I bought my first new car in 1998 when I was in grad school. At the time, I was driving a 1987 Hundai that had been rolled. The windows were held halfway up with wire so, you could never roll them up or down. There was no radio, just a jumble of wires sticking out of the dash.Anyhoo I bought a red Honda Civic hatchback. I really wanted a Del Sol, but the salesman pointed out that I had three children. What-EVER. So, I bought the hatchback with the idea in mind that some day, SOMEDAY, I would have my Del Sol.Well, of course, they stopped making it. THE FOLLOWING YEAR. Not only THAT, but the little hatchback that could was discontinued in 2006, the year that I decided to replace it. I bought a Honda Fit instead.
I adore my Honda Fit. It can carry me (5'6" and 155 pounds) Sweet Baboo (6'2" and 210 pounds,) Mini-baboo (5'10" and 190 pounds) and 2 tribikes INSIDE IT and gets 30 in town and about 35 on the highway.
I'm sure they'll stop making it soon.
I'm sure they'll stop making it soon.
Other things I love, that I'm sure they'll stop making soon:
Replenish sugar-free electrolyte drink.
Shhhhh! They're listening...