Ironman: What it means to me now.

I guess everyone has something different that their goal means to them...and different goals that are meaningful.

I mentioned before that I had a voice that had been dogging me for most of my adult life...I think that to some degree, a lot of people have little nagging voices. It's just that for some of us, the voices are louder. Some people can drown out their bad thoughts with a 5K. For me, it took several marathons, a second master's degree, and a second Ironman.
Whew! That was a loud, incessant voice.

A loud voice that sounded a lot like my Dad.
But anyway.

So now what? Well, now, when I hesitate at some task, my brain pokes as me, but only when I'm not doing what I should be doing. It says things like, Hey, you did an ironman, remember? You can do this. For instance, I got a mammogram after putting it off for three years. I told myself, "Why do I keep putting this off? I've run 3 marathons in the past year, and I can't get some dinky mammogram?" So then I got the mammogram.

As it turns out, a mammogram is a lot easier than running a marathon.

So yesterday I was doing a 5 mile run. Okay, so it was a 4.8 mile run. Whatever. Anyway, one of my favorite routes is very hilly. There's about .25 mile of flat, the rest is uphill or downhill, and it's an out-and-back. My legs are still a bit tired, I think, and as I was climbing up the longest climb my legs were achy and draggy and I was breathless. I stopped and walked for a bit.

Then, Hey, walking girl! You did an ironman. This is an 8K. You can run this!

This happens a lot now. Things I used to put off doing I just go ahead and do them. Even mundane things are affected. Writing papers for school. Defrosting the refrigerator. Whatever.

Nothing seems hard now. Make no mistake about it; I'm Still. Lazy. but my procrastination is less frought with fear than it used to be.

And that voice? Well, it sounds remarkably like my voice now.

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