I guess everyone has something different that their goal means to them...and different goals that are meaningful.
I mentioned before that I had a voice that had been dogging me for most of my adult life...I think that to some degree, a lot of people have little nagging voices. It's just that for some of us, the voices are louder. Some people can drown out their bad thoughts with a 5K. For me, it took several marathons, a second master's degree, and a second Ironman.
Whew! That was a loud, incessant voice.
A loud voice that sounded a lot like my Dad.
But anyway.
So now what? Well, now, when I hesitate at some task, my brain pokes as me, but only when I'm not doing what I should be doing. It says things like, Hey, you did an ironman, remember? You can do this. For instance, I got a mammogram after putting it off for three years. I told myself, "Why do I keep putting this off? I've run 3 marathons in the past year, and I can't get some dinky mammogram?" So then I got the mammogram.
As it turns out, a mammogram is a lot easier than running a marathon.
So yesterday I was doing a 5 mile run. Okay, so it was a 4.8 mile run. Whatever. Anyway, one of my favorite routes is very hilly. There's about .25 mile of flat, the rest is uphill or downhill, and it's an out-and-back. My legs are still a bit tired, I think, and as I was climbing up the longest climb my legs were achy and draggy and I was breathless. I stopped and walked for a bit.
Then, Hey, walking girl! You did an ironman. This is an 8K. You can run this!
This happens a lot now. Things I used to put off doing I just go ahead and do them. Even mundane things are affected. Writing papers for school. Defrosting the refrigerator. Whatever.
Nothing seems hard now. Make no mistake about it; I'm Still. Lazy. but my procrastination is less frought with fear than it used to be.
And that voice? Well, it sounds remarkably like my voice now.
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So, I've got this thing in my left ankle that I felt the first stirrings of when I was running downhill from the La Luz trailhead. Then ... -
Okay. Well, I'm not going to know how things went until my classes start at 9 am. It appears that the substitutes haven't followed ... -
“ Silver strands tend to be coarse and unruly and they have a habit of sprouting straight up. I’m cultivating a new kind of plant, more wis...
What an awesome place to reach in your life. Some people never get rid of that voice. Hooray for you!!
ReplyDeleteThat is the best post ever :) Congratulations :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad the voice sounds more like your own now :)
ReplyDeleteI need a voice that tells me to stop eating powdered donuts :b
I've been reading you say you're lazy for a couple years now, right? As you continue to completely kick a$$ and finish things most other people will never even consider, much less do. You are quite inspirational for someone "lazy". Glad you're feeling good about things.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the many reasons why that I was honored to meet you.
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff.
Thanks for letting us in on your inner workings...and congratulations on freeing up all that energy to focus on the things you want to do! It's wonderful that becoming an Ironman x2 allowed you to dismiss that tormenting voice.
ReplyDeleteIf replacing your Dad's nagging drone with your own 'I can do this' isn't a coup I just don't know what is. You just redefined awesomeness.
ReplyDeleteVERY NICE POST!! I know that voice, and it IS easier to reason with that voice post-ironman...
ReplyDeleteI haven't done Ironman, but I did do my first Marathon in May, and I've had that same thought lately, telling myself that I have finished a marathon and that means I can do anything if I just put my mind to it.
ReplyDeleteYou should also know that YOU are one of the main reason's I've actually been saying the words "I want to do Ironman" lately. YOU! I'm in the making excuses phase right now, but at least I believe I could do it. That's how it starts...