So...now what?

Tomorrow I'm going in to school and pack up my stuff, and do my end-of-the-year checkout for the last time. And then...well...then...I won't be a teacher any more.

This is proving to be surprisingly difficult for me. Yes, it's become hateful and tedious, but it's familiar hatefulness and tediousness. At least I knew the routines. For the past 9 years, I've identified myself as "a schoolteacher". Many positive assumptions are made based people knowing you're a teacher (patient, nurturing, likes kids, needs some free office supplies) who teaches ninth-graders (really patient) and teaches math (must be smart, too).

Before I was a teacher, I was a college student studying to be a teacher.

I think like a teacher. I boss people in public. I give other people's children scolding looks. I dress like a teacher.

So...how will I know what to be?
I've always been whatever it is I'm currently working at: student, teacher. I've never really just been me. And now, well, and now the last kiddo is heading into his senior year of high school. And I'm packing up my room. I have my master's degree. Not a student, or a teacher, and the kids are moving out.

What do I do? I'm sort of in a transition phase, right now.

Gawd, that sounds weak. I've worked since i was 15, with the exception of one year that I thought I'd try to be a stay-at-home mom and BOY, am I not cut out for that...my Dad pounded it into me: You are what you do, and if you don't do anything, you aren't anything.

And I'm not really doing anything. So am I nothing? I've spent my entire adult life, since age 19, taking care of mine or someone else's kids.

Well, then, what am I?

What will I do with my shiny new me?

Sigh. More stuff to think about, I guess. During a run, or something.

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