Saturday, March 21, 2015

Stuff old people do.

Dear Diary,

For my fiftieth birthday I did not run a 50K, like Perky plans to do later this year for her fiftieth. Remember, I. Am lazy. I had a spa day, and then the next day...I had another. I lounged in a hot tub in Albuquerque and read a few chapters in the book, "Positivity" by Barbara Frederickson. The next day, I lounged in a hottube in Santa Fe with my awesome buddies who took me up there for my birthday.

(I am running a 50K next weekend.)

Apparently, they watch matinees. On my birthday, which I share with my mother in law, we went to an afternoon matinee. I was the youngest one in the theater.

They get facials. And have aestheticians.

They go blond. Well, at least I did. Inexplicably, I decided last week I wanted to be a blonde again. So I am.

They join AARP. I'm doing it for the discounts. I'm like a discount ninja now with my AARP card, my AAA card, and military dependent card. HOOwahhh! Pick a card!!

They join the Y. Everyone seems pretty friendly. Everyone I saw at the Y, walking in and out of various classes, was around my age or slightly younger. Apparently, when you reach a certain age, you join the Y.

They shop at "senior super-stores" and buy assistive devices. There are entire industries aimed and helping people having to avoid moving too much.

You don't have to bend or move too much to dress, or wash yourself, with the right accoutrements.

Things to help you squeeze the toothpaste tube

Things to make it so you don't have to bend down to wash your scaley feet
Things to keep you from having to reach to wipe yourself
And help you stand up off the toilet.
This will help you get your socks on.
This will help you pull your zipper up.
There are things to help you open jars, turn knobs, pour tea, and carry your dishes.

I think I want to do that on my own for as long as possible. I'm a huge believer in "use it or lose it."

So Here's my assistive devices:


It's tempting. I need more sleep than I used to. But I am more vain than I am lazy, and I see the carnage all around me.

So, this fifty+ woman is going to go for a trail run, or to BootCamp. At the Y, of course.

Because that's what some old people do.




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