Vanity and ultrarunning are not mutually exclusive. At least not to me: Thursday 13.

Dear Diary,

13. I truly, truly, truly believe that I may commit some sort of violent crime if I have to watch any more of thise Aflak commercials with the pidgeon in them.  Major medical, Booyyzzzzzz.

12. I have basically been off training since the San Antonio marathon and, oh, by the way, people love telling me about the guy that died during the half marathon. Non runners are almost gleeful about that.

 Which leads me to make the following observation: In any group of more than 20,000 people doing anything, one of them is likely to die. It's statistics  

11. I had my hair done last week. I used a groupon. Meh. Not so thrilled about the results. It's kind of brassy. Jim, oh Jim, (my usual hairdresser) I will never stray again, I promise. Not even for a groupon. i like the cut, though. I pretty much get the same cut now. I have a picture of the cut I want on my ipad, and I just flash it to my hairdresser(s) and say, "that's the cut."  Apparently it's an easy cut, because it turns out the same way each time.

10. Saturday, I got waxed.  Yes, one of those waxes.  It shouldn't be much for an ultrarunner but it was. I had a groupon.

The girl who did it was all chatty, and she would pause in her talking just long enough to rip...  She was all, so what do you do for a living? RRRRIPPP.  Oh, really? I had another customer this week that RRRRIPPP! does the same thing.  RRRRIPPP! hey, you're doin' great!

It was the most painfull one I've done, since I hadn't done it in three years.  But it was also the fastest.  

Waxing is so cruel. At first, you're all, hey, that warm wax feels good, this won't be so bad, I think, and what's that? A muslin strip? So now you'll HEYYYY!  OW! OW OW FUCKING OW!!!

RRRRIPPP


I asked her if she had seen 'that scene' in the movie, 40-year-old Virgin, and she said, Did you know they really did wax him?  

RRRRIPPP.

9. I started a new 50 mile training plan.  I tried to talk mini baboo into doing it.  He had lots of questions about trail running, but so far, is not interestested in running with his mom.  Go figure. 


I'm trying to figure out a way to upload my training plan, in case anyone is interested.  

8. Monday we had a nasty storm here, and I stayed inside all day and burned wood.  I called in lazy.  Actually, I called in snow. I can barely see here,  I said, and then writhed in the guilt of my lie. Luckily, I was saved when the major freeway that takes me to work was closed down.  See? It really was bad out. i relaxed, and read on the couch.

And waited. And then....about two in the morning, Sweet Baboo came home. He has been gone all month. I showed him his Christmas prresent: new components, many of them Apple, set up for streaming movies and listening to his favorite music, whenever he wants.  He was less interested on the gift and more interested in the giver. 

7. As part of my Year of Vanity, I bought a curing lamp and Gelish stuff to do my own gel nails. I'm hard on my nails, and these are fantastic.

6.  Also, the skin experiment hS been successful. i've managed to get rid of a lot of spots through a careful regimen. Yes, yes, I know, it's what's on the inside that counts, blah, blah.

I was asked recently about marathoning (probably because I keep a whole buttload of my medals hanging on the wall in my office) and I told them, truthfully, it all comes down to the math.  I have to eat less, or move more, and I LIKE TO EAT. Vanity trumps laziness, yet again.

5. Meanwhile, along the same "vanity trumps laziness" thread, in my desperate bid to be the world's biggest 'Johnnie come lately' I started doing the Power 90 workout this week. I like it. I can only do five pushups in a row. That's up from last year, when I could do three. Still, I like it. 

I parent my pets like I parent my kids: You
got yourself up there, you can get yourself
back down.  I don't care if you're blind.

4. The other thing I did this week was switch over to a mac. I've had it with Microsoft. I bought a mini mac and a wireless keyboard and trackpad, and it just uses my tv as a display. I also bought a CD/dvd superdrive, and spent considerable time ripping Baboo's favorite CDs to The Cloud.

3. Blind kitteh is doing well. She even climbs up into the Christmas tree. Here's a fun fact for you: blind kitties always climb back down backwards, that is, they descend butt first. She likes to chew on my feet while I'm putting on makeup. From the two teaspoons of kitteh formula she was taking in six weeks ago, she is now eating a full can of cat food a day, plus some dry. 

2. I will begin running on the treadmill during the week. I have always said: i don't mind running in the cold, or the dark, but bitter cold plus dark, well forget it.  And those Holiday edition Hershey's kisses aren't going to burn themselves off.  I'm still at 156, and my butt feels big.

But anyway.  I like running on the treadmill.  The key is to tip it up a little, so that there's some incline. That shortens your stride and makes it a better workout.  

1. My next year is going to be somewhat barren of travel, at least for a while. I have to complete an internship, which will last 8 months, and so that will keep me busy 6 days a week. I will graduate in August, so I'm planning on doing something special for the fall to celebrate.  I might try my hand at another 100K, or I might try to do an Ironman again.  I'm still in the planning stages.

... 

11th day of no running.

Okay. So yesterday I tried AQUA-JOGGING. When I put on the Aqua-Jogger Pro I had flashbacks of my childhood in Jacksonville, Florida. My mom would strap me into an orange safety vest and my father and my sister would swim way out past the breakers and never, ever, let me come with them. I was devastated.

Now of course, my father was an adult and my sister was on the high school swim team, and I was eight and could swim just well enough not to drown....
Nevertheless. DEVASTATED.

So anyway.

The Aqua-Jogger Pro is a styrofoam thing with an elastic strap. It is about $60. Styrofoam. Elastic. $60.

That's 12 medium pumpkin spice lattes (with soy and an extra shot).

So, I strapped it around my waist, and jumped into the water with DreadPirate, my aqua-jogging tutor. It holds you up so that your feet don't touch the bottom of the pool. I have to use the pro instead of the classic because of my bootyliciousness. The Aqua-Jogger Pro is, "50% more buoyant than the Aquajogger Classic. Preferred by male athletes and "sinkers"."

The trick, in aqua-jogging, is to stay upright and resist the temptation to use your hands to move through the water faster. You sorta bicycle your legs as fast as you can. As my fastest, I was able to move 25 yards down the pool in about 1:45. It is painfully, painfully slow. Aqua-jogging is kind of like that nightmare where you're trying to get away from the monster but can't seem to run fast. I used to have nightmares like that when I was little (now they're mostly me not being able to yell, no matter how hard I try).

Once I got into my rhythm, I really liked it. I wish I had music to listen to, but there is NO WAY I'm wearing my iPod in the pool. Even if I could get it out of my locked car, which I can't. Because I've lost my keys again. But anyway. I found my stride, and I liked it. After that we did some lifting, and then, this morning, I did about an hour on the elliptical trainer, which felt great, and according to the machine, did about 4 miles on it. I was sweaty and tired and felt GRRRRREAT!

Then DP and her people and I went to brunch and I had huevos rancheros which, when made properly, are awesome. Most restaurants in New Mexico put their own spin on it; in this one I had green AND red chili, eggs over easy, black beans and potatoes, on corn tortillas, not flour.

Plus, today is also the first day I haven't had any pain in my leg at all. AT. ALL.
All in all, a great weekend.

So that's my workout routine for the next two weeks: Spin class and a short (1000 meter) swim Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Elliptical trainer followed by aqua-jogging on Tuesday and Thursday.
Tomorrow, I'll find out whether this is a stress fracture (shudder) or shin splints. I've been rubbing it over before and after my workouts with Arnica Montana and taking Arnica Montana pellets as directed. I don't actually believe in homeopathy, but what the hell. I've heard people I respect swear by it.

The worst that can happen is that I'm out about $14, right?

I will do almost anything not to miss the Palo Duro 50K on October 18th.

...

Okay, let's see if this works.

So way back in August after Ironman Louisville, Sweet Baboo shared with me that he would really, really like to lose about 20 pounds before doing the Silverman. I did some online research (aka, I Googled the hell out of everything and used words like, "weight loss" and "review" and "opinions" and such) and finally signed him up for WeightWatchers Online, for men.

I chose WeightWatchers because we've used it before, with great success. You get so many points per day. You begin to be judicious in your choices, e.g., "I have 7 points left, do I want to blow it on this tiny piece of cake or maybe save it for something else?"

Meanwhile, at any given time your daily points are calculated based on the goal of losing 10% of your current weight. Once you reach each 10% goal, your points are recalculated and you are allowed a bit fewer if you want to continue to lose weight.

Anyway, I chose the online thing for two reasons; first, it takes into account the mind-blowing idea that, apparently men eat differently from women. (Duh. Just last month I was startled to find out that Sweet Baboo loves, wants to marry hamburger helper. Aroo? yeah. So does Mini baboo. We make it with Morning Star Meal Starters. Sweet Baboo and Mini Baboo clean the pot out and seem very satisfied. I usually have something else, too much starch for me. )

But anyway.

Second, Sweet Baboo is in charge of his own destiny, as it were, and doesn't have to depend on me to tell her what he's eaten and how many points it is, etc. He just enters in his information. And, clearly, it's working.

So, today, I decided to join WeightWatchers Online. It's how I lost the first 30 pounds, way back in 2005. Then I went off it and never lost another pound.

For now, my daily points are 22, but I can "bank" extra points by exercising, (today's 190-minute jog earned me a bunch but I spent some of that on gels - 2 points each - and a power bar - 2 points) .

PLUS, I get 35 "flex' points at the end of each week that I can use or a little each day or blow all at once or not use at all.

Thus, I have a built-in binge.

I love the thrill of being allowed to binge.

I would like to have a bit less to haul up and down the hills of Idaho in June. The current target is 2 pounds a week. With careful choices and a lot of activity, it should be doable even while training.

...

A little over 12 weeks out.

This week, I was going to rest and sit on my [spreading] butt, but my coach would have none of that. We went for slow, easy ride on Monday, about 30 miles and some change, and it wasn't so bad but I still can't lean forward for a full mile in my aerobars.

That sucks because it's hard on my wrists and back to sit up that long, so it occured to me that I need to consider moving my handlebars up a bit. I did that in spin class and found instant comfort.

It also rids me of the emotional baggage of having my knees constantly hitting my stomach, ever-so-softly reminding me that my stomach is down where my knees are instead of tucked up just in front of my spine, where it should be.

On the one hand I feel that it's somewhat enabling to make this handlebar adjustment based on the tummy proximity, but on the other hand, it's not just the tummy issue at stake, so we'll leave it as a slightly enabling move that will make aero position more attainable. So, there it is.

Yesterday, I headed to the gym with Pirate to do a 1500 swim...which turned into a 2500 swim...because she said so. That's all I can say about that. She said so.

Sunday I'll be doing a 50-ish or so mile ride with my friend Stephanie down to San Ysidro and bout, but today, I've got a yen to get on my 8-speed cruiser, "Pistachio," so I'm headed downtown to do some stuff.

I'll not be dressed in anything sleek or aero. Pistachio has no illusions about being fast. She is a true cruiser--steel frame, heavily-padded seat as wide as a park bench--the better to fit my post off-season a$$, my dears.

She has a headlamp, a tail light, a horn, bell, large basket in back, fenders, and reflective hearts, and a couple of naggy bicycle-sized bumper stickers. Gay men adore her, as do the urbanites I see downtown when I'm disguised as an urbanite myself, instead of something who parks carefully at the edge of the suburbs and rides in. On Pistachio, I wear cycling sandals, comfy clothes. Even people who aren't into cycling admire her.

And she is mine. She even has a cup-holder, to hold my lattes. Fully loaded, I'd say she weighs in around 50 pounds or more. And my helmet large and round and has a tail-light. If I can get this beautiful behemoth up and down some hills, that will be a good workout.

I'm determined to get back in the saddle, so to speak. I've thought more and more about what SW Tri gal told me a while back, and I really have had a block about cycling since Ironman Louisville.

It was just such a horrid experience, mostly becuase I was so woefully unprepared. And, this time, at Ironman CDA, I won't have that extra cushion because of the seeded swim start. I must finish in under 17 hours. In order to do this, I have to improve my cycling. I need to get over my dislike of it. I need to have fun with cycling, to really feel like the bike is my transport.

I'm ashamed to admit that I work 4 miles from home in a place that has about the nicest weather anywhere (well, except for the afternoon sandstorms) so it's time to get off the stick.

Nobody can push me but me. Time to get moving, and on two wheels, too.

...

How many blind triathletes does it take...

Wow, who'd have thought there were that many near-sighted triathletes around?

You, you sneaky guys with your contacts...I feel better now in my near-sighted non-perfection. POWER TO THE PEOPLE!

Just a couple of thoughts on your comments:

1. I'm very pissed that my shoes come in pink and nobody at the shoe store told me. I'm considering taking them back tomorrow (I haven't worn them yet) and making them order pink ones. yeah, well, there's all these things said about women and how capricious we are, and I never am, so I have some wiggle room.

2. Clearly, the contact lens thing is a go. I already wear the disposable contacts because I lose everything, and I strive to bring Sweet Baboo, who is in charge of the budget, as little pain as possible

On other, unrelated news, I would like to come forward and state loud and clear that my diet was totally blown somewhere between half-priced Christmas cookies and half-priced Valentine's chocolate. I'm at 165 pounds today, exactly where I've pretty much been since March of 2006, after I lost that first 30 pounds. I am determined to get to 150 before the end of this year, not to fit someone's ideal image, but to have some more tissue that is working tissue instead of hauling-up-and-down-New-Mexico-mountains tissue.

Tomorrow, I'm taking the day off to go visit the lady parts doctor. I kind of wrote about visiting this doc for another problem back in 2006 and the subsequent treatment for it. I strive to do this in a sensitive way that doesn't make all the guys out there go, "Ewwwwwww" but that is perhaps useful for someone out there.
Meanwhile, because of the odd time of time of my appointment, I had to take the whole day off. I'm not making this up. I have to take a whole day of sick leave, SOOO, I'm going to do a 5:30 am spin class and maybe swim - if I can find some goggles - and then shower and then visit the doc. Then visit the shoe store, and see if I can get them in pink. I can't believe they didn't tell me. Jeesh! And then have coffee.

In unrelated news, today at work two of my students left the room, in their words, "To get a breath of fresh air." I didn't realize it until they came back (OMG!!) and then I said, "do you realize that it's entirely inappropriate for you to walk out of class without permission?"

Their response: Geeze, we just got a breath of fresh air. Take a chill!

Not quite the apologetic tone one hopes for. I admonished them not only for their behavior but also for the resultant paperwork.

You're writing us up just for getting a breath of fresh air? You're seriously writing us up?

Uh, yeah. Take a chill, girls.

...