Pre-Las Vegas Marathon Checklist

☑ Garmin heartstrap and units

☑Camera

☑Inhaler

☑Jogging bra

☑Nathan hand held water bottle

☑1 white running minidress with red and shiny snakeskin trim

☑1 white jumpsuit with red and shiny snakeskin trim, (including cape)

☑1 shiny red metallic belt

☑1 shiny gold belt

☑1 brown bouffant wig

☑1 black pompadour wig

☑1 pair of long, thick false eyelashes

☑temporary sideburn hair color, black

☑very frosty eyeshadow and frosty lip gloss

☑1 pair large, gold, aviator sunglasses

☑sense of humor and adventure

What? You mean your marathon checklist doesn't look like this?

Well, it should.

Tonight Sweet Baboo and I went to Wigs, Wigs, Wigs in Albuquerque. Let me tell you folks, this lady knows WIGS. She caters to everyone from alopecia sufferers to cross-dressers. She has personally be-haired (is that a word?) all manner of people, including RuPaul. My own hair should look as good as the wigs in this place.

In a small time she took a plain black short wig, and voila, Sweet Baboo had Elvis hair. Then she took a medium-length brown wig, back-combed and teased it into a large brown helmet of hair appropriate for my She-Elvis/Priscilla hybrid.

When I saw myself in the mirror, I had to say it, "It sounded just like a freight train. Y'all."

Think Patsy Cline.

Think Sally Field in, "Steel Magnolias"

Saturday I'm Santa and I'm running a 5K.

Sunday I'm She-elvis and I'm running a marathon.

When did it come to this?

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