BIG

FAT

42

Yep, that's right.

Happy Birthday to me!!

Sundays at the Church of the Bosque Trail

I took a deep, rattling breath and headed out to my favorite Sunday Morning haunt: The Bosque Trail.

After two weeks of languishing in flannel sheets I'd decided on a new tactic: Denial. "I am not sick. I will not cough up a lung on the Bosque trail. I am fit and well and I will run, albeit verrrrry slowly and gently, on this beautiful spring day."

OMG, it was a gorgeous day. It's finally-sort-of-kind-of-spring-ish here in Albuquerque (it doesn't officially become spring until sometime after mid-April, when the danger of late spring snowstorms is past) but it's been consistently 40 F and above (4.5 C, for our International Friends!) which means that I'm all out of excuses. Plus, lets face it, temps in the 40's and 50's are just AWESOME for running.

I took a different route down the trail to Central (old Route 66 as it passes through Albuquerque) and back, and it was 10.36 miles, according to the route thingy in Beginner Triathlete. It goes past the south end of the Botanical Gardens, not that you get to see anything, but the path narrows quite a bit when you hit the south end of town so there's less people on it. While I was running I listened to some older songs which provided my sermon for the day.

Oh, You Can't Always Get What You Want...

When I turned around, I turned into a newly freshened wind which made me swear a bit. MOTHERF^&*#R, I hate wind. But all in all, when you consider the wind, and the fact that I haven't run in two weeks, haven't done a long run in three weeks, it wasn't too bad; it took me 2:33:09, and that's even counting all the times that I stopped and grabbed a trail marker and coughed my guts out (Now I know how my cats feel).

But, at least I was running. I heart my Sunday mornings at my Church of the Bosque Trail. I can mull over the week I've just had, the week to come, or just free associate and let things flow through my mind. I figure out a lot that way. I get a lot of peace that way. I'm not all worried I can't keep up with most groups for training runs. I like running alone. It's my "me time." You know, I hear that a lot, especially from women - that running is their "alone" time. When I'm running, I don't have to answer any questions, soothe any egos, make anybody feel better, or smarter, or calm anybody down, or mediate any conficts, or deflect tempers.

In any case, it wasn't as fast or as long as I could have liked; I needed to take it easy because I'm still getting over this, this, whatever it is - cold, flu, hairballs, who knows. But I got my "me time", and it was great.

You can't always get what you want.
But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.

...

I left my lung in Bernalillo and my hopes at APS

I went for my 30-mile ride with Pirate today, and I have to give her a lot of credit for hanging back with me, as I hacked and puffed my way over a very pleasant, flat ride. I think I made her late for her 10 am appointment with her coach, but she was good sport about it. I also enjoyed the freedom of the one nostril blow all the way to Bernalillo and back. Cleared my head out pretty good, it did.

The Interview I had on Thursday was for a high school substance abuse counselor. I felt like things went well, and the enormous amount of OTC cold meds I took managed to stave off symptoms until after the interview, when I got in my car and coughed continuously all the way home.

After 8 years of teaching I'm ready to leave the classroom. When I first started teaching, it was my goal to make every kid love science and math. Over the past few years my goals have changed. Now I want school to be a positive, stable place (for many kids it's the only stable place) so that they'll stay and graduate and have positive associations with education.

That's why I'm so bitter about NCLB. I hate the effect it has on school environment and kids. I firmly believe that NCLB's lasting legacy will be kids who are squeezed out of school because they don't boost the data.

I was certified as a school counselor 3 years ago, but since I already have a job, I've been limiting my applications to those within my district. The problem is, I'm a veteran math and science teacher. There is a critical shortage of math teachers in the US. The last two times I was seriously job searching, all I did was walk into a district office and ask if there were any math openings. I was asked if I could be at an interview in an hour, and they didn't care how I was dressed. Each time after the interview I had to promise that, yes, I would be back to teach math for them.

There is not, however, a critical shortage of counselors. In my district, there are several dozen applicants for each counselor opening. There's no way they'll vacate a veteran math and science position to fill a counseling opening.

So, Thursday's interview was with Albuquerque Public Schools. They don't know me; I can't rely on my reputation. They don't know that, unofficially, some students with certain "issues" are placed in my classroom, nor have they sat with me at parent-student meetings, nor have they observed my classroom. So I had 45 minutes to dazzle them and convince them of my competence. So, we'll see. I feel like things went well, but I'm realistic.

In the meantime, I keep reminding myself that I have a job, and it's steady and it doesn't suck. Yet.

...

Getting better, finally.

I think my interview went okay yesterday, but we'll see.

So for a while today the marzipan changed into a lovely sort of spring green. This was after several hours of trying to figure out how that tiny man got inside my nose with a pin. Have you ever had that sensation? you spend the day with your nose stinging and your eyes watering. Then the everything dried up for an hour or two, and then it all turned clear again.

Two nights ago I bought some Nyquil. This stuff Kicks. Ass. It's like, 20 proof, and provides a lovely 7 hour cough-free coma.

To add to the delight of my exploding sinuses was the revelation yesterday that I accidentally left one of the state standardized tests overnight in my room.

--> Now, before you read this I want to let you know that I have a spotless record. So what you're about to read is what happens with a teacher with no history of problems does such a thing.<--

You see, we were supposed to return all of them immediately after testing each day. As requested, I sorted the test books by serial number and the answer booklets alphabetically and the booklets of the kids that hadn't finished had to be in a separate stack and so one of the booklets was set aside while I was sorting, and I overlooked it and didn't put it back in the box.

Soooo, I found it under an inbasket on my worktable the next day, where it had been locked in my room all night. When I discovered it, I returned it to the testing people. Now, here's what happens if one does such a thing in a "No Child Left Behind" America.

• I was requested to write a letter of explanation about what happened.
• My boss and the head guideance counselor at my school were questioned as to the nature of training in testing procedures and test security I had received.
• My boss, the school principal, called me at home last night to let me know that a District Office Representative would "visiting with me" today to as part of his investigation into the matter.
• The DO rep pulled me out of a class that I was teaching and a substitute was assigned to my room for about 20 minutes while I was questioned about the incident.
• They then sent a sub into the classroom of my helpful (and unlucky) colleague whose misfortune it was to have offered to carry my box of tests upstairs for me so that they could question him.

Now, I'm pretty sure that the matter is now finished, but who knows? Maybe they'll convene a grand jury. Perhaps you'll see my picture in the paper, covering my face with my hands, muttering "no comment" as I scuttle quickly from my car to my home...

Tomorrow Pirate and I are going for a 30-mile easy ride, and I'm hoping to clear some gunk out of my head. Now that I've canceled the Stealth, my next target is the Alpine triathlon on March 25th.

...

Just some general self pity.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to just toss the idea of the Stealth Duathlon next weekend. It's really frustrating and I'm pretty pissed about it. I tried running yesterday, and as soon as my heartrate reached the top of zone 2 I started doubling over coughing. I seem to have strained a muscle from coughing, which hurts like hell.

Also, at some point last night while I was sleeping somebody snuck into my bedroom and used a large pastry bag to completely fill my sinuses with marzipan. My head is about 5 pounds heavier than usual and completely stuffed up and I cannot get it to clear.

It is in this condition that I'll be going to a job interview this afternoon. Yay.

I'm going to lie down in my darkened classroom during my planning period with my white noise machine on and see if that makes me feel at all better.

I wonder which of the little darlings I teach gave me this crap.

...

Finally. An excuse for more sugar and caffeine.

Like I needed one.

Coca-Cola and PepsiCo, will introduce new carbonated drinks that are fortified with vitamins and minerals: Diet Coke Plus and Tava, which is PepsiCo’s new offering.

I can't help but wonder if this is, partially, a response to the latest legislation that is occuring in some states to ban soft drinks in school vending machines. In our state, for instance, Governor Bill Richardson enacted a ban against certain softdrinks being sold in elementary and middle schools. I've already noticed a decrease in headaches among my students.

Pretty soon we'll be seeing people carrying their 52-ounce xtreme gulp mugs saying, "but it's healthy!"

Personally, I'm not a cola or even, for the most part, a carbonated drink fan. But if they ever come out with vitamin-fortified caffeinated Hawaiin punch, I'm all over that baby.

It's all Jane's fault.

So I'm sitting here all flemmy and coughing and I don't know why and I know I'm going to miss my long run tomorrow and I've decided that it's all Jane's fault.

I've tried experimenting: taking benedryl, and then waiting for it to wear off, and then a compresensive cold medicine, and waiting for it to wear off, and then a comprehensive allergy medicine, and waiting for it to wear off; the hypothesis was that if I compared the results among all three, I could tell what it was from which one actually worked. The experiment was a complete failure because none of them worked, and I think Sweet Baboo is tired of the very wet sounds coming from my head, but loves me too much to do anything but turn up the volume on whatever it is we're listening to so he doesn't have to hear it. He hates bodily excretions, and so do I.

Sunday is normally my long run day, and I'm probably going to try trotting it out on the treadmill, because slow running is about all I can handle right now. Even on my normal days running I produce an impressive amount of snot, but right now even I find myself disgusting, so I'm going to try popping a movie in and stay indoors, not just because it's 20 degrees in the morning here but also because I've had a bit of dizziness along with my generally flemmy snottiness, and as I mentioned before, it's all Jane's fault.

It's all Jane's fault because last week were at an Outlaws meeting and I was kinda sorta but not really bragging about how I don't get cramps, or join pain, or blisters, so nothing keeps me from running outside my own laziness, and she kind of gasped and said, "You better be touching wood when you say that," and I was so I just smiled.

What she didn't tell me, and this is why it's all her fault, is that I was perhaps leaning on laminate at the time instead of solid wood, which for the evil genie that hammers us when we say things like, "Oh, nothing ever keeps me from running," doesn't count. So the evil genie wammied me to remind me to never take anything for granted and that I'm mortal, after all.

The best I can manage right now is about a slow-run pace on a treadmill. I can't do speedwork and I can't run outside or I'll drown in my own snot or double over in some kind of coughing fit.

So now, I finally get it. I've been feeling bad for Sweet Baboo when he couldn't run because of various maladies and broken bones, but in a loving, wifey sort of way. I didn't actually feel his pain, just sensed a general crankiness about him. I also felt bad for Jane, and Helen, and various other friends of mine who have had awful injuries and couldn't run, but I didn't understand what it was like to not be able to run. But now I get it.

There's a huge difference between not running out of pure laziness and not being able to run. The latter is so frustrating that it makes me feel a combination of anger, dispair, and dread that I'm hurtling back through time to the time when I hoped feverently to be able to run a whole 5K some day. As I'm sitting up in bed coughing and blowing my nose I imagine that I can feel the muscles in my legs atrophying. I imagine that I can see the layers of fat forming on my body, my tendons stiffening, and my resting heartrate rising 20-beats to what it used to be, my whole body reverting to it's flabby, former self, unable to even handle a flight of stairs.

So, okay, I get it. And I'm touching real wood this time.

...