Thursday, May 24, 2007

It's not that I hate your kids.

Yesterday I found the perfect place to do my training runs this summer. I ran this loop yesterday somewhat behind the group of folks I train with (including Sweet Baboo and Pirate). Of course, they sprinted off, and leaving me to get lost in the middle of the desert.
(Okay, well, I guess that's not really true. It's in the middle of the city, and I was wearing a Garmin, and besides, Pirate and Kerry came back looking for me.)

Anyhoo, it's everything I usually hate but badly need in a run: a long uphill, short steep little uphills, and deep sand running, all at 5200 feet elevation. One lap around is about 5K. Kick ass. I'm going to get some great training done here!
The other thing that I love about this run loop is that it's right next to a branch of New Mexico Sports and Wellness that's going to be my new best friend, and I'll tell you why:
The gym near my home, like most of society, has gone, "family friendly." It has children screaming and running around the locker room all the time. They're screaming and crying because they don't want to go swimming or they want to swim some more and or they don't want a shower or they want a shower or their brother just took away their shoe and is dangling it over their head, or their diaper is dirty and meanwhile, I'm in an ethical quandry because, as a teacher, I don't feel comfortable getting undressed in front of any child, much less a 3 or 4-year old boy!!!

Their toys bounce into the lap lanes and they come over to get it, and I discover this when I run into one while lap swimming. Children are in the hot tub (I ask you, what 5-year-old needs to use a hot tub?) splashing and screaming while their parents look on, smiling benevolently. It's anti-relaxing. I get to be the bad guy and tell them to settle down, but even then it's useless to pretend that I'm not swimming in a giant warm kiddie toilet.

But now, I've discovered an oasis of sanity and peace where I may be able to actually have a real summer break away from children. It's the branch of my gym up near the aforementioned Academy track.

After my run I walked over to the gym nearby, and I noticed a huge sign on the doorway to the dressing room:
No one under 18 is allowed in the dressing room.
All children and their parents are to use the family dressing rooms.

Don't ask me what that means. I don't care. Then I walked over to the jacuzzi, and saw another sign: ADULTS ONLY JACUZZI
This is rediculously happy-making for me because I'm on summer break, for gosh sakes, and I need some SEPARATION. I sat in the ADULTS ONLY JACUZZI for about fifteen minutes. Ahhhhh. Bliss. Peace. Quiet.
Trust me. The more time I get to spend away from other people's children during summer months, the more I'm able to appreciate them the other 9 months.

I was busy explaining some of this to Pirate, and a women overhearing me, smiled, laughed, and said, "Yeah, no shit."
"Teacher?" I querried.
"No. Principal."



  1. Wow I am glad my gym is not like that! Yeah the whole kiddie toilet as a pool thing is quite disturbing!

  2. That's one thing I love about our Y! There's an adults-only dressing room, and they really do expect the kids to behave there. Big standards of behavior rules posted in the front lobby, etc.

  3. I thank God my gym is at the state Pennitentiary. NO kids and rarely any adullts either! I feel for you less fortunate athletes. I really do.

  4. Those kids in the picture were at the grocery store with us today, I swear!
    It's sad, but now that my kids are almost out of the nest, I have almost zero tolerance for children unless they are behaving angelically.....

  5. You had me at no kids. I too joined a mostly adult gym last year after being driven totally insane from the Y, with all of the aforementioned problems you stated along with another list too long to mention. The problem with the Y, and I am forewarning you here, is they also put up signs: Adults only, no one under 18 in locker room (or hot tub, or wherever) but it didn't work there because no one monitored it and there were over 17,000 members. So hopefully, your signs will actually mean something.


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