I've decided to put some filters in my email. Some people need to be shot, by the way. If I ever meet a professional spammer I'm going to key his/her car. Or think about it really hard.
Come to think of it, if I ever meet a professional spammer I'll probably just give them a realllllly diry look.
SO, henceforth, if you send me any emails, they won't get through if the subject line contains the following words/phrases:
Dearly Beloved
Her Pleasure Will Be Endless
Lottery
Unclaimed Funds
Bank Account Authorization Information
Endless Happiness
Endless Joy
Online Degree
Viagra
Urgent Greetings
Honorable One
high-quality prescriptions
She'll be Screaming
Cialis
Call My Secretary Immediately
Blowout
All Night Long
If you send me any of these emails, I won't get them. I'm just lettin' you know.
...
That's the end of our correspondence then. Oh well ;)
ReplyDeleteUrgent greetings for an honorable one offering you endless joy and endless happiness resulting in a online degree through a high-quality prescription of Viagra and Cialis that will result in an all night long blowout if you will only call my secretary immediately because she'll be screaming and her pleasure will be endless when you receive your unclaimed funds via your bank account authorization.
ReplyDeleteThat's all I'm saying . . .
No matter how you set up your filters, somehow some of that junk always gets through. Why dont some of them say...triathlon gear sale...carbon fiber...free entry fees..nutrition/hydration tips...free running shoes...
ReplyDeleteIf the spammers only knew what really sold...they'd be rich.
BTW. Do people still eat Spam if their parents don't force them to?
How I may use these phrases in tri-related phrases:
ReplyDeleteHonorable one - to those who complete Ironmen
She'll be screaming - with joy after completing an ironman; or with pain after completing an ironman.
All Night Long - how much to party after completing an ironman.
Uhm, I actually have a Spam costume.
the interweb is full of smart-arses, apparently.
ReplyDeletespammers...urgh!
ReplyDeleteNo wonder you haven't been getting my emails lately!
ReplyDeleteUrgent Greetings for the Dearly Beloved and Honorable One, unclaimed funds from you Online Degree require you to call my secreatary immediatelu due to a all night long blow out on Cialis and Viagra causeing endless joy from the lottery and thus requore bank account authorization information lest she'll be screaming
ReplyDeleteThere is absolutely no way to top the above comment.
ReplyDelete