Friday, July 27, 2007

A 40-mile ride, in 6 hours and 20 easy steps.

1. Starting at 10 am, prepare yourself for a 50 mile ride: get your frozen water bottles, sunscreen, and fig newtons, and put them in the car.

2. Search for your favorite Terry cycling tank for about 45 minutes: in the hamper, laundry room, where you keep your swim stuff and where you keep your running stuff, under the bed, in the closest, finally finding it exactly where it was supposed to be in the first place, with your cycling stuff. Go figure.

3. Get your training wheels so that you can use them instead of your race wheels. Except...one of your training wheels is flat.

4. Utter your favorite curse words.

5. Since you don't feel all that confident fixing a flat right before a 50 miler, take it down to the bike shop and ask them to throw a new tube on there. You might even get a couple gels while you're there. Except...you don't have the checkbook.

6. Utter your favorite curse words.

7. Drive back home to get the checkbook. Which cannot be found. On the way out, notice grab your helmet.

8. Return to the bike shop and dig through your wallet to get a couple gels and pay for a new tube.

9. Drive self, gear and bike down to the little park by the bike path.

10. Put training wheels on bike, bottles in bottle cages, and spray self with sun screen.

11. Try to ignore the van full of men in orange jumpsuits that are lunching, staring at you. Put away the thoughts that there's nobody else but you around...just you, and a panel van full of men doing community service.

12. There! You're ready to go. Except...you've left your bike shoes at home.

13. Utter your favorite curse words.

14. Take the bottles back off your flatwing, take the front wheel back off the bike, and put everything back in the car and drive back home, leaning forward so as not to get the wet sunscreen all over the car seat.

15. Get bike shoes, and decide to go back to a different parking spot. One not so full of guys in orange jumpsuits.

16. Drive down to a different park by the bike path, and begin your ride at noon.

17. Except...at mile 30, you notice ugly black clouds have now taken over the sky. Call Pirate at work and ask her what the Doppler radar looks like.

18. Based on Pirate's recommendation, turn the bike around, spending the last 10 miles of the ride heading into a stiff wind and watching the "average" speed on your Garmin drop precipitously.

19. Utter your favorite curse words.

20. Go home and take a nap.

Now, wasn't that easy?

...

14 comments:

  1. Harkens back to your post observing SB in max training pre-IMAZ, wondering just how forgetful and distracted you'd be in max training pre-IMKY.

    Personally, I find it much funnier when it's somebody else! ;-)

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  2. no swigging of beer? is it just me r does the terry tank look like a nightie

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  3. Take a deep breath. You going into the beginning of taper madness. You will be fine and when you look back it will be hilarious

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  4. Have you solved my question of what the heck to wear on the run in wisconsin question?

    dare i say, yes...you have.

    love terry. love them more now that i know they have a running shirt that will fit AND has pockets.

    thanks!

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  5. THAT is the kind of ride that makes me never want to get on my bike again!!! :(

    Hope you are able to recoup yourself with some kind of enjoyable working out this weekend...

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  6. Gaa! Good for you for not giving up at point a - the flat.

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  7. You so totally deserve a medal for even getting on the bike after all that.

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  8. Some days its just better not to workout!

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  9. Gear and weather wars! What fun.

    I'm likely to get thrown out of the pool this afternoon but might be able to turn this into a good sprinting opportunity.... they will have to catch the chubby deaf triathlete in order to toss her, right? Maybe I'll swim with my eyes closed, too.

    hang in there. The taper's coming.

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  10. When I get real frustrated like that I can string together swear words like you can not believe. Sometimes I think I even make up my own words by combining swear words that have no point in ever being combined. Nice job and taking a few breaths and getting it done. That had to make you feel good.

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  11. See, I would probably have stopped at point 3 or certainly at point 12. So you're a LEGEND

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  12. you know, i have some unused vacation time. if you want some company sometime, i might be able to take a day off and join you on one of your crazy long otherwise solo bike rides.

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  13. I hate days like that - The snowball effect.
    Way to persevere.

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  14. I call those words "Big Technical Words". Cuz if you string enough of 'em together in a row ...

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