Saturday, February 24, 2007

The men in black.

There are people following me.
They watch what I eat and drink and wear and take careful notes. They report back to headquarters, or the home office, or wherever, and records are kept.

I know this, because whenever I fall in love with a product, it is immediately disontinued. I'm serious. If you love something, don't you dare tell me about it, because if I love it too, the men in black will make it disappear.

Case and point:I discovered a Maybelling foundation last year that was the perfect color and type of coverage. I mean PERFECT. COLOR. Mock me if you will, but such a thing for those of us to whom it matters is a blessing. I managed to get through two bottles before the men in black noticed, and then when I went to Wal-Greens today to get my favorite makeup I saw, with sinking heart, that the rack was nearly empty and contained only shades that I will never be tan enough to wear. "Discontinued," the makeup counter lady said. Ugh.
This is what has set me off on my rant today.

I've also had similar problems with lipsstick and eye pencils that last too long - heaven forbid something last a long time because somebody finds out and POOF! It's off the market.
Case #2: Splendor Perfume.
This delightful perfume smells like hycinths and lilacs. In the 2 years that I enjoyed it, at least half dozen strangers asked me what I was wearing. That has never happened before or since with any other perfume. Most of them were men, and loved it so much they wanted to get it for their wives. I would advise them, Go to Dillards, to the Elizabeth Arden counter, and don't tell you wife you smelled it on another woman. There was lotions and cremes and powders in the same scent, and different sizes of the stuff. I fell in love. I bought the largest bottle they had, and then the Elizabeth Arden minions sprinted to have it discontinued. Now, like many discontinued items I love, it lives only on Ebay.

Case #3: Hanes Sport Bra
I purchased this very simple, comfortable sport bra at Target. It was reasonably priced. At some point after I decided I loved it so much that I'd like to wear it every day, and went to buy more. Before I could do that, however, the evil monkeys at Hanes hurridly snatched them off the market. I can't even find a picture of them any more. They're replaced them with some horrid cheap thing that's thin and uncomfortable.

Case #4: Morning spark.
This caffeinated sugar-free beverage is AWESOME. I love the cranberry and grapefruit flavors the most. I hate most carbonated beverages, and don't care much for coffee (I go through phases, and this is currently a non-coffee phase), so this instant stuff, which I found at WalMart, has been a blessing. I wrote the company and said as much, and was immediately informed that they were going to dicontinue those flavors. They'll still carry the ones I don't care much for. When I found out they were dicontinuing it, I bought about a case of it. I have some at work and some at home, but some day I'll run out.

Case #5: Honda's hatred of me.
I bought my first new car in 1998 when I was in grad school. At the time, I was driving a 1987 Hundai that had been rolled. The windows were held halfway up with wire so, you could never roll them up or down. There was no radio, just a jumble of wires sticking out of the dash.Anyhoo I bought a red Honda Civic hatchback. I really wanted a Del Sol, but the salesman pointed out that I had three children. What-EVER. So, I bought the hatchback with the idea in mind that some day, SOMEDAY, I would have my Del Sol.Well, of course, they stopped making it. THE FOLLOWING YEAR. Not only THAT, but the little hatchback that could was discontinued in 2006, the year that I decided to replace it. I bought a Honda Fit instead.
I adore my Honda Fit. It can carry me (5'6" and 155 pounds) Sweet Baboo (6'2" and 210 pounds,) Mini-baboo (5'10" and 190 pounds) and 2 tribikes INSIDE IT and gets 30 in town and about 35 on the highway.
I'm sure they'll stop making it soon.

Other things I love, that I'm sure they'll stop making soon:

Builder Bars
Carb-Boom Gel
Replenish sugar-free electrolyte drink.
Shhhhh! They're listening...


  1. Geek Girl,
    I know exactly what you mean. Lipstick colors and foundation...the worst. You fall in love, it works and poof! it's gone. Now, when I find ANYTHING I like that is a consumable item, I buy it in multiples. just in case. My foundation issue is the same as yours. My skin is too pale for most shades. I hate orange chin lines. So, now when I get ready in the mornings I ask myself, is this a foundation worthy day? Like elaine from Seinfeld, I loved the sponge and cried a river when it was disco'd. Now, it's foundation and lipstick. ARGH!

  2. I'm totally with you on the Hanes sports bra!! I found those, absolutely loved them, and could never find them again!! UGH!!!!

  3. don't forget your favorite running shoes, they'll discontinue those as soon as you say you love them. or say they're 'improving' them, which we all know makes them different and not the same. i hate that.

  4. Mrs. Bigun, Don't EVEN get me started on the sponge...and then when they started offering them again, I'd already chosen a tubal.

  5. I'm with you on this one, I'm cursed:
    -my favorite bra (only my size was discontinued)
    -various Clinique lipsticks and eyeliners
    -every scent I've ever liked at B&BW
    -Sebastian hair wax
    -every type of jeans that I find that actually fit me (Polo, Old Navy, Gap, you name it)
    -I've had a different kind of running shoe every time I've had to replace...NOT by choice
    -Tifosi Morph sunglasses
    and the list could go on for miles...

  6. wow - Del Sol - I guess di, aka Mrs. Bigun, isn't going to rub in the fact that she had a nice blue one for a few of her favorite cars I do believe...

  7. I hope you don't like M&Ms.

  8. I am blessed and cursed with adaptability. If the pizza I like is not available, any other will do. If the Chinese restaurant goes out of business, Korean is fine by me.

    When I go to the store looking for deodorant, razors, underwear, etc., I can't honestly say I even remember what brand I use, I just buy whatever I like at the moment. I have never bought the same cologne twice, and I have tons of different bottles of cologne and have no idea which one I like better.

    Sometimes a random choice turns out great, but then I won't remember it the next time I am at the store.

    I am certainly not brand-faithful and if I see an advertisement a hundred times on TV I will probably buy something else thinking that it is what I saw advertised. The good thing is that I never actually check to see if I got what I was looking for, so it all works out.


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