Saturday

20 miles of major suckitude.




Gather around, triathletes, and I'll tell you the tale of what happens when short-attention-span triathletes go for a long run.

Today I did a sort of mega brick workout, a 20 mile ride followed by a 20 mile run.

It was actually a beautiful day out. There was a breeze from the west, and it got up as high as the low nineties, but then New Mexico is so pleasant in the shade...since there's no humidity, once you're out of the sun, you're chillin' and enjoying the day, dude, and life is good.

Out of the sun, that is.

But of course, I was running 20 miles in the sun. I felt pretty good the first half of the run. It was morning and cool. Then, somewhere somewhere around mile 11, I got lost.

In the middle of the city.

I got lost.

I'd taken a new path out and, I guess wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I just know that on the way back the path got narrower and narrower and closer to the edge of the asequia until I'm hanging onto trees to keep from falling in, but will I go back? I will NOT because I am too stubborn.

Eventually the path opens up onto a big field, I have no idea where I am. I am lost, in a huge field in the middle of the city. WTF? So I keep heading north, stopping from time to time to dig the stickers and briars out of my socks, and this goes on total for about a mile, until I come to a 7-foot tall fence stretching as far as I can see in both directions.

On one side, are people meandering through the path at the Rio Grand Nature Center, a state park, a water fountain and a bathroom. O

n the other side, stickers and thorns and of course, me.

MOTHErF$#&ER!!!

This was not a climbable fence, either.

Sooooo, I walked down the perimeter of this fence for 300 yards or so, wondering how the hell I got trapped inside a nature preserve in the middle of Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Some briars and brambles and climbing through some dead trees later, I was finally on the right side of the fence. A lot of time wasted, and now it was getting hot.

I filled up my water bladder, and then emptied my other bladder, and moved on. By mile 15, I knew several things:

1) I. Hated. Everyone.
2) I. Suck.
3) I really wanted to cry. It was hot, and and my feet hurt and my legs were tired. Worst of all was the heat. There was just no respite.
4) I was never going to finish this stupid ironman thing. I wonder what their refund policy is?

By mile 17 I was distinctly lacking in humor. There was no more beeze, and no more shady spots, either since the sun was directly overhead. I was doing a slow, shuffling walk down a path of deep, soft, sand in early August in New Mexico. I was seriously beginning to question my common sense in doing these things. I had plenty of Nuun in my pack, but Jeez, I was so tired. So hot.
I was
Just. so. tired. My legs hurt.

I can't believe that there's actually a race the starts out in Death Valley. I'm crying and whining and it's in the low nineties.

Eventually, I found my way to base, because I'm never truly in danger, just truly pathetic.

When I finally arrived back at base, Sweet baboo had a surprise for me: an empty chair with 2 bags of ice and a beach towel. See why I married him?

Ooooohhhh, you have so got to try this sometime after a long hot run: I sat on the ice for a while. Then I put it in my lap for a while. Then I put it on my feet for a while. I toyed with the idea of putting it on my head, but didn't because it was leaking. The ice bag, I mean.

So there you have it. The Peak of my training. Pirate and Sweet baboo both have assured me that it's supposed to suck this much. Then you taper and on race day, you feel great. I'll have to take their word for it.

Tomorrow, a sixty mile bike ride. Then Monday I have a day off from training, which is also the last day off of my vacation. I fully intend to spend it sitting on my a$$ watching movies and not answering the phone.

....