Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Can I have a trashcan? I need to throw up. Thursday 13.

Dear Diary,

13. I don't think there are too many things better after a good run than a cold glass of strawberry milk.

12. I came home Thursday and found a big scrape on the side of Sadie's nose . No clue how it got there.  I asked her, but she didn't want to talk about it. 

11. I've taken to watching Tosh 2.0.  I love this show.  I have to be really nice and diplomatic at work, so it's the perfect release. If you are one of those "kill your TV" people -- well, I just don't care.  The rest of you: Try this link.

10. I finished up last week with the final build week of my training plan. Of course, last weekend, I did that 50K, and I ran 10 during the week, 20 on Saturday, and then 11.6 on Sunday.  By Sunday, I was exhausted, my knees hurt, and I could barely finish the 11.6 miles.  I ran 196.11 miles in September.

I've been told that this is how I'm supposed to feel, and by the end of my taper, I'll feel great.  SRSLY, they tell me.  "Great".  Well, I guess we'll have to wait and see.  Meanwhile, I kicked off my taper, during which I'll have to be careful about what I eat, by eating chicken enchiladas and a chile relleno at a local haunt.

9.  Lemon-lime Gatorade and Juicy Fruit gum is not a good combination.  Just in case you thought about it.  It's not.  In fact, it's pretty darned nasty. If you decide to try it out of curiosity, just because I said that, don't come complaining to me.

8.  I'm wildly excited about my date with The Bitches.  I rarely do girlie things.  I'd say on average, about every other month.  Getting my hair done AND girlie clothes shopping puts me one ahead.  This is it for me until Christmas.

7. Sunday night I celebrating the beginning of taper by eating a big plate of cheese fries and a root beer float.  'Cause I'm all about healthy.  Of course, I can't keep eating this way through the taper.

6.  I have 9 weeks to get in 200 hours for my internship.  This fall is gonna suuuuuuuuck.

5. At this point, I have four crew members for me at Javalena.  Sweet Baboo, Dread Pirate, and SW Tri Gal are scheduled to be in attendance, along with Courtney.  It's gonna be a party!  Well, maybe not for me.  They ought to have fun, though.

4.  So.  Meanwhile, DP is bombarding me questinos.  What do you want me to do?  What are you bringing?  What are you plans for pacing? She's destroying any chance I have for a if I don't think about it, it isn't happening scenario.

IT's looming.  IT is three weeks away.  I'm starting to feel the nervous flutterings that soon will because anxious nausea.

Can I have a trashcan to throw up in please?

I looked for my Xanax.  It's gone.  I must have gotten rid of it.  Crap.

3. I'm reading a book, "Comfortable with Uncertainty."  Timely, neh?

2.  So I had this conversation with my instructor this week:

  • (me) I was wanting to talk to you about this grade.
  • Okay, what did you want to talk about?
  • Well, this is supposed to be an example of a clinical note, and your comments seem inclined toward being fairly subjective, almost nit-picking.  It's not clear to me, too, how the points add up.  There are lots of comments all over the page, and then a grade at the top: 12.
  • Don't worry about the points.  
  • Don't--how can I not worry about the points?  This is a 12 out of possible 20, that's 60%, which is a D.  I don't think this is D work, and I just wanted to know what your rubric was.
  • It's not a D. 
  • Yes, it is a D.  In fact, 12 out of 20 is a D MINUS.  
  • This is just one part of five parts that add up to 100.  That in turns adds up with other grades that add up to 500. You're missing 8 points out of 500.  Don't worry so much.  You can still do an extra note and make this up.
  • But it's still not clear to me how you arrived at 12.
  • You got an 18 on your other note.
  • Exactly, and I feel they are very similar, I wrote them in the same sitting, from the same set of notes, from classroom role plays on the same day.  So can you tell me why this note is an A- and this note is a D-?  It
  • Again, you're too focused on the points.  Don't be so focused on the points.  Just keep writing and you'll make it up.  

Oh, yes . This semester is going to suuuuuuuuuck.

This, by the way, is the difference in view points between a professionally trained EDUCATOR and a SOCIAL WORKER who happens to be teaching.  Who doesn't use a rubric?  Are we barbarians?  It's madness, I tell you.  MADNESS.

1.  I'm eating wayyyy too much.  WAY too much.  I have to tone it down.  Down, I tell you.  My willpower has gone to shit in a handbasket.  I have to find a way to keep busy so I don't eat.
Otherwise, there will be way too much of me trying to haul ass around Javelena.



  1. 3 weeks? I'd be anxious, too! You've been training hard, so you'll have to draw on your faith in that. (Or find your Xanex!

    And, for the record, a 12/20 IS a D-. Your instructor sounds a little cookoo with her grading plans.

  2. Not that I'm counting or anything, but it's SIXTEEN DAYS not three weeks.

  3. I love cheese fries! Yummy! Good luck with all that is going on!

  4. I love Tosh.0. Funniest thing on TV -other than Colbert.

  5. I am so excited for you and Javelina. You are ready and I bet you guys are going to have a blast. I am feeling slightly sorry for myself that I can not be there.

    WTF? on the grading. That is bullshit, IMHO. And her answer of "you are too focused on the points" is total horseshit and a very thin cover for the fact that her grading was completely arbitrary and based on her mood, or feelings, or phase of the f-ing moon, rather than a true assessment of your work.

  6. My professors graded the same way in grad school. But when they said 'don't worry about the points, you're doing fine' they were right about that too.
    Have fun at your field placement.

  7. When you figure out how to control your eating, please clue me in! I need help. It's hard to haul yourself around with so much in the saddle bags.


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