Wednesday, March 09, 2011

The Midterm 13.

Dear Diary,

13.  Where you've been v. where you're going.  This week when we watched an episode of "Heavy" on A&E one of the people asked the question, is it harder to have been in shape and then gotten out of shape and tried to get back in it again, or is it harder to have never been in shape and try to get back in it?

I don't know what the answer is.  Sweet Baboo and I talked about this briefly - he was a heavy child, but then a high school football player, base ball player, and Marine Corps rugby player.    I wasn't an athlete, but I was thin most of my life.  So, both of us had the experience of having been smaller, or thinner, or at least in shape.  But, so, I still don't know the answer to that question; is it more painful to look at others who are smaller and see what you have never been, and want to be, or to have seen yourself at a smaller weight and know what you used to be?  Is it more painful to go where you've never been, or go back to where you came from?

I had the same problem years ago, when I went from being a welfare mother to being a college graduate, but it wasn't like I was coming from that...I came from a middle class, white-collar family, made a bunch of stupid decisions, and wound up on welfare.  I knew where I was going back to.  I still don't know the answer to that question about which is harder.

Nice thought, but utter bullshit.  
12. WHY.  I was reading DPs race report for her first 50-miler.  It's always interesting to me to read others first reports of the longer distances, and I'm curious how many shared experiences there are.  I can't explain why I do these things, but I was thinking about it while running with SW Trigal recently, and the best I can come up with is this: most things, like school, has always been easy for me.  Running 50 miles is not.
It's more of a boost to my feelings about myself, and what I'm capable of, to do something that requires a lot of preparation, and that is hard for me to do.  So maybe that's why.

11. ZEN and PAIN.  It happens in trail marathons and 50ks now.  I zone out, get busy running, but only because there isn't any pain.  I don't transcend pain until I stop having it.  It all just hurts like hell until my body is used to the distance and then stops hurting, and I look for that, and wait for it, because I know it will happen. I know how much my first half marathon hurt, and then my first marathon, and now they don't hurt at all any more.  Only in building up my endurance do I feel that.  I'm approaching that in 50-milers now.

10.  GAAAA!  This week was midterms week, and it was the week for me to be reminded of a certain person affiliated with my university who I hate with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. I will write more on this some day when I am no longer dependent on this other person for grades, signatures, and approvals.

9.  Joy.  But, Tuesday of this week was proof of goodness in the universe: while waiting in line at Starbucks in the drive-through, an employee went around giving out little cups of coffee.  To the people in line.  Waiting for their COFFEE.

This week: a very special Twilight Zone, where Misty waits for coffee and is given coffee while waiting for it. 

Now, there are skeptics who complain about lines at the drive-through.  I just consider myself lucky to be living in an age where I can sit in my car for a few minutes, and someone will brew me a nice latte.  Nope, no bitterness here.    

8.  SLOTH.  After taking a month off from training and dieting, I am back on both. Last week was a 40-mile build-up week, and I finished 39.5 miles of it.  This week is a 45-mile week, and I'm already behind, but I'll be caught up soon.  Every 4th week is a "recovery" week, so next week will only be 30 miles.  Ahhh.

7.  Marathon: The RDs have posted the Run Through Time marathon profile, which is this Saturday's run.
The cutoff for this bundle of joy is 7 hours.  Did I mention that this is how I'm celebrating my 46th?  Oh, and did I further mention that if I don't finish this I STILL won't have a Colorado marathon?  And that there is no finisher's medal and possibly no shirt?  Yeah.  Happy birthday to me.  But, I get to spend a weekend away with Baboo, which makes it all worthwhile.  :)

6. Love. When I sit in a chair and type this wearing my fuzzy pink robe, I have a grey tabby who sits behind me and licks my furry pink robe repeatedly.  When I put on my pink furry robe, in fact, she starts purring as she walks over to me.  

5. SHOES.  I bought girlie shoes this week, all heels.  I have gotten into the habit of putting shoes into an online "basket" at and checking it periodically to see if any have dropped.  I'm sticking to Clarks, Born, Aeresoles, and Sofft for now to build a base working wardrobe. I've found that 2.5 to 3" heels are my limit, with 2.5 inch being the ideal, and I avoid stilettos because of the rough blacktop and gravel and lawn I have to walk on.
True, sometimes they sell out before they get to my ridiculously low target price (between $25 and $40), but once they're there - bang, they're mine.  My target price is ridiculous, too, but hey, there will be other shoes if they sell out.

4.  MIDTERMS.  So far, as of the writing of this, I have done well at midterm in two of three classes.  I have no results from the third class yet.  I'm not holding my breath.  That test required listing things, and I suck at that.  I can ace any multiple choice test, and I do well on essay questions, but when it comes to rote memorization, forget it.  I'm a math type person.  I can solve problems and analyze.  I'm not a parrot.  Still, this is my waterloo - I need to study the crap out of this class before finals.

3.  M-M-Movie.  Sweet Baboo and I saw the King's Speech.  Highly recommended.  I loved the use of Beethoven's 7th in the climax.  That was also used in Mr. Holland's Opus, another favorite of mine.

2. Easter Candy.  I am avoiding Walgreens for the next month or so, for obvious reasons. There are peanut butter eggs, truffle eggs, coconut cream eggs...the list goes on.  It's evil I tell you.  Evil.

1.  I am required to watch a movie about a dysfunctional family for my family therapy class, analyze it according to a theoretical orientation, and formulate a treatment plan.  Any suggestions of such dysfunctional family movies are welcome. I'm considering About Schmidt for now, but it seems complicated, and I haven't made up my mind.



  1. Does Luke and Darth's relationship qualify as dysfunctional? And don't forget Luke's incestuous feelings for Leia in Episode IV before he knew they were incestuous.

  2. The Royal Tennenbaums? Is that really dysfunctional (enough)?

    Also, I was big, got small, got preggo, got huge, and am big again. I feel much worse now than before I ever got small.

  3. I would suggest Juno or Little Miss Sunshine for your profile.

  4. Anonymous7:39 AM

    Movie- "the kids are alright"

    T-shirt: It might say "monkey butt" and who would know? Aren't there like 100 different Chinese dialects ? ;-)

    Been the same size since H.S. thanks to running and triathlon.

  5. Anonymous7:59 AM

    or is it "all right"? whatever!

  6. Royal Tennenbaums for sure! or Little Miss Sunshine.

  7. Your weight/welfare comparison rang true for me. I was in a similar situation as you due to my choices, but I think that coming from a middle class background made it easier to get back there...and to keep my kids on the right track while we needed state help. I had a great, experience-rich upbringing, which often my students from disadvantaged families lack. Because of this, even though we had no money, I was still able to expose my kids to lots of great learning experiences. And my background gave me a roadmap for where I wanted to be.

    I haven't been THIN since my freshman year of high school, but I've lost enough weight here and there to know how to do it and that I can. Sometimes it's just the putting it into action that's difficult.

  8. How about the Holly Hunter movie "Home for the Holidays?" I find it funny, profound, and endearing. Speaking of endearing, how about Terms of Endearment? (They don't make tear jerkers like the used to.)

    To my way of thinking, it is easier to think about getting back to something I have been (if I was thin/fit/middle class before, I can be it again) rather than trying attain something I've never experienced. Now, which do you think is more rewarding?

  9. I really don't know which is harder or easier from a psychological perspective. What I do think is helpful from an ultimate success perspective is to have been active and/or athletic at some point in your life. I used to think that while watching The Biggest Loser. Whenever people would moan to a trainer about how much XYZ hurts, I would wonder if the moaner had ANY concept of the difference between "I have a stress fracture" pain and "I am pushing myself to a new place" pain. I don't think some people have any idea. I think they genuinely confuse pain and discomfort.

  10. The Great Santini (1979), a movie about a Marine family I think but it would fit you're requirements I'm sure.

  11. Running with Scissors is about an extremely dysfunctional family and I would love to see a treatment plan for them! And in answer to Q1, I think it's harder to never have been in shape because your muscles have never been used to working out and your brain doesn't already have the thought that 'I can'. I've always been fat but I'm hoping that changes this time round.

  12. Running with Scissors is a MOVIE? Why can't you read a book? US schools. Sheesh.

    I would think any of the episodes of "Dead like Me" would qualify also.


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