It's Wednesday, and I smell like gas.

Dear Diary,

There are apparently a lot of bad karma nuggets floating around out there this morning and it all landed on me. I didn't hear it land on me. I imagine that if I had, it would have sounded wet and heavy. Like shit.

I left the house this morning at 7:20ish, plenty of time to get to work. I waved at my neighbor who was outside watering her lawn.  I knew I had to get gas. It was impossibly cold and windy, so I was already not looking forward to that. When the light turned green, I realized I'd left my wallet (and gas card) at home, so I hung a U and went back to get it. As I tend to scatter things around my home, it was not easy to find. But I did find it. 

Sweet Baboo, meanwhile, had alrady given me his gas card because he knows that quite often, things just disappear and he loves me enough to not allow me to stomp around the house swearing and accusing the dog and cats of hiding my stuff. 

As I left the house again, I turned the corner and waved for the second time to my neighbor who was still outside, watering. She waved back, puzzled look on her face. Then the cup of mountain dew/cranberry juice in my cup holder sloshed and spilled into my cup holders.  I rolled down the window to pour a bit out, but then I hit a bump and it all went out. Dammit. There goes my morning caffeine. I needed to hurry.  I had a client coming in first thing, so I could not linger. 

Okay.  I know that there is a Starbucks on the way to the gas station, with a drive-through.  I headed back down to the gas station. On the way there, I realized I'd forgotten my lunch - left the Lean Cuisine boxes sitting right on the counter. I debated weather or not to go get them, and decided that I would decide at the gas station. Meanwhile, I was already racking up some self-pity, so I took a coupon out to go to Starbucks, and got myself a caramel macchiato.

As I pulled away from the drive through I heard the loud and unmistakable sound of my car's body molding scraping the curb. Dammit. I used napkins from my glove box to soak up all the spilled mountain dew in my cup holder and threw them away in the trashcan that, thankfully, Starbucks always seems to have next to their drive-through.

At least I had my caffeine! I headed down to the gas station, and sat inside my car while the gas went into the tank, sipping my coffee. I head a loud click signalling that the nozzle had finished, but apparently this wasn't my gas pump that made that noise, because when I pulled out the nozzle, a lot of gas spewed out - not on me, thank goodness, but you know how the smell of gas is. It gets into your body and clothes and doesn't let go. I can still smell it now, an hour later, sitting at my desk.

SO. I left the gas station and, smelling strongly of gasoline, decided that I did indeed want my Lean Cuisine, and so drove home to get my lunch.  I drove home, car windows down to try to air myself out, heat blasting because it's so damned cold outside. I got home, grabbed my lunch, headed out, waved at my neighbor AGAIN who by now must think I'm completely insane.  I tried reminding myself of the good things, at least I have a gas card, at least I have lunch, at least I have a car, at least I have a job, and it's not that I've ever not had those things, mostly, but there were times in the past that my grasp on them was tenuous, at best.

I drove to work like a crazy woman, quickly and aggressively to get there early enough to get settled, and so as not to miss my first appointment.

Who did not show up.

...