I won't go changin'.

Dear Diary,

I finally figured out that I can load the "old" blogger interface! Yay! Then I was bummed out when I reealized my work computer still won't let me post. Boo. However, it won't let me save a post as a draft, so there's no way of knowing if this is even going to post.

It occurs to me that there are some things that running hasn't changed about me.

13. It hasn't improved my decision-making skills. This past weekend for reasons I cannot fathom I am now signed up for the Bandera 100k. It's in January. Mmm. There's a fairly generous cutoff, I think, and I've been told that there's some nasty step climbs and then lots of runnable stuff. What the hell; I won't know if I try, right?

12. On the other hand, I'm certain I have made one decision: I was asked the other day if I was working my way up to doing 100 miler. i am not.. At least, I don't think so. What I've been able to figure out is that running 100 miles is a lot like getting a PhD. You have to really, really, want it. I don't. Then again, I once said that I didn't really feel the need to ever do a marathon. Still later, I said I didn't feel the need to ever do an Ironman. So much for resolve.

Thing is, if I don't have a crazy-assed long race looming on the horizon then I have trouble getting up and running. And if I don't train, I'll gain weight.

I'm not even sure if I can pull off the Vermont 100k on the 21st. But I've already been assigned a bib number 431.

11. Also, I've agreed to do the swim leg at the Cochiti oly triathlon. This is a week after Vermont. Our team is the Honeybadgers, because we don't give a $hit. Since then, I've been trying to get up early enough to get into a pool. Friday, I will do it. I mean it. Will.

10. Running hasn't made me neater. Poor Baboo. His mother warned me when we decided to get married that he's picky, and I took that to mean that I might be xtra special, since he's so picky. But I worry that he suffers so. Honestly, I don't like being messy. I'm not one for glorifying it or making dumb excuses I need for everything to be out where I can see it. So, I am working on some mindfulness stuff to try to concentrate on doing just one thing at a time. Take out what I need, do what I need, put it away. I'm working on it.

9. On the other hand, I've made good progress on simplifying. Doors slide shut easily on my dresser. I can find things. I open cabinets and I can see what's inside. It's awesome. You know how when you first walk into an empty house you love how spacious it is? Then you fill it up with stuff. That's what I did...but now, the house is starting to look spacious again. I feel i have more time to run, because I can find things, and i love coming home to my cozy, but spacious, home.

8. Running also hasn't changed my attraction to batter-dipped, fried foods. Or anything with coconut in it. The trifecta, of course, would be coconut chocolate anything, batter-dipped and fried. Ooohhhhhh. But I digress.

7. Running hasn't changed peri-menopause. Lately, hot flashes and night sweats have been driving me crazy. I wake up in wet sheets five or six times per night. I finally got some standardized Black Cohosh tablets, which has worked for me before. If they don't start working soon I'm taking the plunge -- HRT. No, I don't want to hear any horror stories about it, thanks.

6. Running hasn't changed my love of baths. I wish I had a deep, garden tub. Right now my bathtub is attached to the shower that the resident 21-year-old is using. It's far less relaxing when I have to lock the door and who knows what kind of boy germs are floating around?

5. Running hasn't changed my general annoyance toward parents, particularly the ones who can't seem to separate themselves from their children. But I suppose I am a bit more patient.

4. Running hasn't made me more confident about my looks. I still wear makeup to trail runs.

3. Running hasn't caused me to stop eating in my car. It's pretty gross. It's next on my hit list of bad habits.

2. Running hasn't made me less of a geek. I like that my bib number for Vermont is a prime number. And I'm currently working on my pace chart for Vermont in Excel.

1. What running has done is make life in general less frightening. All the managed care reviewers, oblivious parents, and general unpleasantries that life has are less daunting. At least it's not an ironman, I think. At least it's not a 30 mile run in Colorado. no, it's just an asshole with an attitude.

...

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