More triathlon tips.

Okay, so I've told a couple people this story, and they thought it fairly entertaining, so I'll share it with you.

It is fall of 2005. Mini-baboo, who is at the time 14. And a HALF. is doing his first or second triathlon.

He REALLY, DESPERATELY wants to big one of the big boys, (those big triathlon boys are SO COOOOOOL!) so he's hanging around sharing all the things he's heard Sweet Baboo say, or things he's read in a magazine.

At one point he overhears one of the big boys talking about struggling into a wetsuit, and he says, well actually he yells, excitedly,

"Hey! Hey! I know what you do for that! You're supposed to rub Spam all over your body!"

All heads, and I mean ALL heads, within hearing distance, swivel toward this revelation.

"Spam?"

"Yeah!"

"SPAM?!?
"Could you possibly mean, 'Pam' ?"

"What's the difference?"

The difference was patiently explained to him. Being that one is a spray on cooking lubricant, and the other canned pork. Not that it might have been any less able to get you into a wetsuit, we surmised later over the T3 repast. But it is a bit smelly. Plus, we're vegans. No potted meats for us.

Our team, the Outlaws, likes to give nicknames based on something silly or embarassing, or some quirk about you. It took quite a lot of effort to avoid the inevitable nickname they wanted to bestow upon him (SpamBoy will never know how hard I worked on his behalf, to get him nicknamed, "El Chivato") as 14-year-olds do NOT have a well-developed sense of humor nor do they enjoy laughing at themselves.

...

Are you really ready?

Sweet Baboo and I have lots of friends who are thinking about becoming parents. It's quite interesting to us, since I began the whole parenting thing at age 19, we find outselves, at the beginning of our 40's facing the empty nest. Even as our friends are having babies, or getting pregnant. So I just wanto to ask you,

Are you ready?

Are you REALLY ready?

Oh, sure, you think - I'm ready. I'm ready to be a parent.

If you've already taken the plunge and had your children, look away now, because it's too late for you.

The rest of you, awwwwww...you see other people's children and smile. You imagine what it will be like. Oh, yes - you've got the parenthood itch. You maybe even babysat once or twice, bless your heart. What's a little throw up, you ask. They're only babies for such a short time.

You can't wait, to have something like this



that will grow into something like this:







But the truth is, probabalistically speaking, you are just as likely to have something like this:
that grows into this:
(Not that I'm saing she isn't perfectly delightful,

but, I'm just asking you,

Are you ready?

Are you ready...for a teenager?

To answer this question, you'll need a partner to help you with a little experiment.
So here's how it works. Your partner should be someone (usually it's your mate/partner) who has about a week to devote to this project.

First, your partner is in charge of making sure that anything you truly adore, whether it be fritos, blueberry poptarts, crangrape juice, or a can of cream cheese frosting (hypothetically speaking) disappears. But they can't tell you about you in advance. They should also remove all of the cordless phones and leave them in places around the house where you woudn't expect a phone to be, like in a laundry basket, linen closest, spare bathroom, and under a rug. Some food, perhaps sandwitches or a piece of pie, should be placed under cushions of the couch or other sitting areas.
Finally, they should make sure they leave at least one door exterior door open at all times. At all of these times, they should insist that they did not do these things, and scream, "WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS BLAMING ME??"

Now, to start. As soon as you come in the door from work, your partner should immediately jump right in front of you and start repeating the following, "I'M HUNGRY. I WANT. I NEED. I NEED. WHY CAN'T I? YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING! YOU ALWAYS GET STUFF FOR YOURSELF AND I NEVER GET ANYTHING NEW! WHY CAN'T I DYE MY HAIR BLUE? I WANT TO GET MY LIP PIERCED!"

Then they should snarl and walk away, mumbling things about you under their breath that you can't quite hear.

Next, your partner should stand outside the door of any room that you're in and knock, saying over and over again: "Mom. Mom? Mom! MOM!! Mom. Mom? Mom! MOM!! Mom. Mom? Mom! MOM!! "
Your partner is also in charge of the following:

• Waking you up at 5 am to get something signed; something that will cause them to fail a class or cost a lot of money if it doesn't get signed.
• Stopping you as you're going out the door to work, telling you that they have to have a check for $35 or, again, they'll fail a class or they'll get kicked off the team, or something else horrible will happen.
• Call you on your cell phone when you're halfway to work and tell you that they missed the bus, and they don't have a ride, and if they're tardy again, they'll have detention on Friday, which will require a ride home from school, except that is the day you need to leave early to go out of town.
• Announce to you on Sunday night that they're out of deoderant, shampoo, and toothpaste and need markers and glue sticks for the project that's due tomorrow morning.
• Snarl when you're in a good mood, and make random mumbings under their breath, such as, "I have to do EVERYTHING around here."
• How can I say this delicately...even as teenagers, boys still haven't quite always perfected their aim some of the time?
• Drag home a denizen of the local homeless shelter and announce this is their new best friend, and can't s/he spend the night at their house? WHAT? YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING!!

--Sweet Baboo adds the following:

• Have your partner strap on a chipper/shredder and throw food into it as you run arouNd the house, so that it sprays food onto the walls, floors, and ceilings (and stays there until YOU clean it up)
• Make random chunks of money disppear from your wallet/checkbook (unexpected things like team uniforms, pictures, dances, and having outgrown all their shoes and the entire suite of clothes you just bought them last month, fillings, glasses, braces)
• Have the partner run two or three baths every day in order to double the water bill, and leave their windows open in the winter (or the summer) thus doubling your heating/cooling bill.

There you have it. The truth test of readiness.

Not that he isn't perfectly delightful.

He graduates from high school in 2 years and 1 month.

...

The Boulder experience, day 2.

Up and at 'em at 28 degrees. Yikes. We had a 10 am appointment at Colorado Multisport.

But, so, imagine the following: you have three hours to spend with someone who knows a whole bunch about bikes and triathlons, and you can ask them all the questions you've been meaning to ask him, sorting through all the stuff you've read, and the hype. They work with you, and only you, and answer all your questions and adjust your bike so that you stop hating your bike and are well on your way to making friends with you saddle.

That's what I got today from Tim at Colorado Multisport.

Of the many things I learned today, I learned that my old bike was the right size, but badly fitted.

Second, as I suspected, I am, indeed, the average male triathlete. I am 5'6" and have a longer torso and wider shoulders than most; so for a female, I'm quite manly. I don't worry because I know that the universe loves a balance, and that somewhere there is a girly triathlete man.

Anyhoo, Tim had me fill out a questionnaire and then sat down and interviewed me about my habits and experience on the bike. I was honest. I shared with him that, for the most part, my experience was that biking sucked, saddles sucked even more, and cycling events were punishment for having been very, very bad in a previous life. Tim asked me which event was my "strongest,"

I said, "the question really is, 'at which one do I suck at the least?'"

Tim laughed.

Then I said, "Ironically, it's the bike."

I have to tell you, I was nervous as first, because Tim seemed so young. However, he really knows his stuff, and as I'm discovering, everyone seems younger these days because, apprently, I'm getting older.

The next thing Tim did was take some measurements of me standing, lying, and the bent over. He had me sit me up on a compu trainer and set the tension up and then say, "Pedal. Keep your cadence up the upper 90's" He corrected my posture, and gave me exercises to help make it even better, which he's going to email me.

At first I was like, WTF???? PEDAL? You mean I have to WORK today?

And work I did, throughtout all the various measurements and questions and adjustment, I pedaled in bursts until I was breathing heavy and sweating and my quads were burning. He pointed to the readout and commented on my form and measured away. Then he started making adjustments.

The first adjustment Tim made was to change out my saddle. He put one on called a San Marco Glamour (see picture, right)


Oh. My. God.


I felt the difference right away.
Then, he pulled out my aerobars and tipped them up a bit, because I was hunched up and this would stretch me out a bit, but also angle me so that I wasn't always hunching to look up.


Then he put insoles in my cycling shoes and something called "wedges," to correct the angle of my legs when I pedaled.


Eventually, after all the measuring and such, he took Wunderfrost, who will hereafter be my trusty training bike, and set her up according to his specs.

All this took nearly 3 hours. It was time well spent, let me tell you. I could feel the difference immediately.

I promise you this: even if I wasn't purchasing a bike all the stuff I learned and the adjustments made to my existing bike were so well worth it: worth driving through the ice from Albuquerque to Boulder, worth the 29 degree day that I endured with no proper coat, worth it because I feel pretty strongly from now on that my experience on the bike is about to change.

Finally, Tim plugged in all his numbers into a computer which suggested...the Kestral Aifoil Pro, although technically, it seemed that I had several options available to me, being the average manly triathlete woman that I am. The airfoil pro. Huh. Whaddaya know about that? My new one will have 650 wheels, instead of 700's, with HED 3 and the Ultegra set.

After I was done, it was Sweet Baboo's turn, and I'll let him tell you about his experience.

As Sweet Baboo was finishing up his turn, with the crazy grin on his face that told me that, for him, it had been time well spent, that's when Duane arrived. The three of us when to BD's Mongolian Grill on Pearl Street, and talked. Duane is every bit as nice, funny, and friendly as you might suspect him to be, and has fantastic taste in music as well (Pink Floyd ROCKS, and now I don't have to saw at my wrists from Devo overload!) We learned aobut his two daughters, and about how one of them is about to do her first triathlon. We swapped triathlon stories. It was a great time! I ate much food, now that I have the excuse that I can eat like a manly man. Duane took a picture of us, and I completely forgot to get out the camera and take one of him and Baboo.

So sometime soon I'll have a new toy and now I really have to stop the martini drinking and train, because I have absolutely no more excuses. It's all up to me now; no more blaming my crappy splits on bad saddles and machinery that's out to get me.

As for the new bike, Webster's tells me that a Kestral is, "a small falcon that hovers in the air against a wind." I like that. I haven't named her yet, but I will. I'm still considering a custom paint job which I've decided, if I can get it, will involve purple and gold. In the meantime, here's a picture of her with factory specs:


So that was my experience. I don't know how typical it is, but if you have the time and the means to get this type of personalized fit experience, run, don't walk, to getcha one.!


Colorado Multisport is awesome, and I had a great time. And because we paid for the bikes outright, they are shipping it home for free, and it is being shipped out of state, we do NOT have to pay the 8% sales tax.

Sweet Baboo had a great time, too, but I'll let him tell you about that!

Cheers!

...

The Boulder Experience, Day 1

We arrived at the Boulder Outlook Hotel tonight at around 10:30 or so. You wouldn't; you couldn't, you shan't know how difficult it was to get here. I think the sign when we crossed the state line into Colorado was something like, "Now entering the state of Colorado; go back where you came from."

The highlights of the trip, so far, are that nobody has thrown eggs at us or screamed obscenities at is.

I'm tired. and cranky. And I wasn't even driving.

For starters, I had the choice this morning between loading software and setting up my new laptop or checking the weather in Colorado. I chose the former, because it was more fun, and now I am paying. Oh, dearie, am I paying. I am dressed for sprintime in New Mexico, and have brought with me 3 pairs of crop pants and 2 pairs of sandals, and two sleeveless shirts.

It is not springtime in Boulder. An icy drizzle began soon after entering Colorado, which seemed to confound the drivers here. Apparently ice is some exotic species, kinda like sand in New Mexico, and people have trouble driving on it. We counted seven (7) wrecks during the 3 hours it took to drive from Colorado Springs to Boulder. They ALL involved SUV's. So much for 4-wheel drive.

We watched with great interest as the large charter bus in front of us, traveling from Juarez, slid sideways across I-25 and then regained its traction. The car next to it honked, like as if, the driver didn't notice he was skidding on the ice and needed to have that brought to his attention. As if.

Second, the highway 36 From Denver into Boulder was shut down. CLOSED. We were directed to leave the highway, period, at Louisville, CO and the best we could do was follow a stream of cars, hoping they were going to to Boulder, too. (Luckily, they were). However, the mapquest directions were by then no good. We arrived at the hotel after several illegals Uturns and stopped to ask for directions. (Where is 28th street? Why are there two 27th streets?)

Bolder, you're fired. Duane, you too. You guys were in charge of making sure that weather was fair and highways were clear, and you blew it. Fie on you.

(And Duane, you know we all love you, but if I have to hear any more Devo I may start sawing at my wrists. )

So, FINALLY we arrived exhausted and tired and tried for pizza at Skinny Jays Pizza, where we were promptly ignored. We had better luck by ordering from the front desk. I'm having a 14" Vegan Pie. I had to, because rarely do I see the word "Vegan" on a menu unless all the servers are wearing hemp. But I digress.

I'm tired. And hungry. Tomorrow I'll give you the skinny on the Skinny Jay's pizza. Day 2 is our visit to Colorado Multisports, where we're going to be fit for new bikes. I have already deduced that the evil ABC in Albuquerque sold both of us bikes that are far too large, so I'm interested to find out what size I should have had. (My tri bike is a 54 cm. frame, and the only other person I know that has one is 6' tall. I am decidedly NOT 6' tall)

Till next time.

...

This is what I've come to.

I found out last night my daughter is scheduled to graduate May 20th.

MAY freaking 20TH, the same day I'm registered to do Buffman and Squeaky. I really, really wanted to do this race because last year I did this race and it took me four hours, and they were taking down all the equipment when I finished but Mike and Marti Greer, who are the best race directors EVAR left up the finish line for me and announced me as the winner of the Athena group (I was the only Athena in this race) even though I was still out on the course and DEAD FREAKING LAST with the support vehicle deiseling slowly behind me as I shuffled through the 10K. You can read about that here. And, I really wanted to see if I could beat my time this year.

So anyway, I was freaking out. This is what I've come to, the mother who's trying to figure out how to hop a flight from Lubbock to Dallas to see her only daughter's graduation from high school so she doesn't miss a triathlon. To add even more guilt, I should mention that my daughter receives special education services and has really struggled to graduate from high school at the age of 19. I'm immensely proud of her. She never gave up.

But between me and Travelocity, we couldn't make it work. You have to imagine my whiniest voice here as I said, over and over again, "I really, really don't want to miss this race!" Finally, I threw down my schedule in disgust and said, "that's it, I can't do the Squeaky Buttman. I can't miss her graduation from high school," all the while feeling resentful toward her, teenagers, high school graduates, whomever planned the graduation and triathlon dates, all race directors and the Dallas schools in general. And massive amounts of guilt for feeling that way.

Finally Sweet Baboo, whom I call the idea man, said calmly, "why don't you do the triathlon, and tell her you can't make it, and instead for her graduation present tell her you're going to fly her out here for a week. She's never been on a plane before, I'll be she'd be very excited".

And you know what, he was right. I called and asked her if she'd want to do this, and she's wildly excited and screamed a lot (the happy, hysterical teenage girl kind of scream) and doesn't care if I'm there for the ceremony, because flying out the week after school/work ends for me to spend the week with me is way cooler than just spending one day together. We'll do mom/daughter photos, lunches, the whole nine yards. (Sigh) Disaster, and worst-mother-of-the-year-award, narrowly diverted.

This is, of course, why I married him, and not some other, lesser, baboo.

...

Multisport, ya got me.

I noticed that after I did the sprint on Sunday I felt great. I mean, really, great. I mean, I placed 6 out of 6 in my age division, but I felt all sassy and full of myself, like I usually do after a triathlon, and that's where I finally said to myself, okay, multisport, ya got me.


I'm hooked.

Sweet Baboo has wondered outloud, on more than one occasion, if I don't have body dismorphic disorder. I don't know, but I tell you, man, after a triathlon, no matter what the result, or even after a long slow run, I tell you those endorphins kick in, and when I look in the mirror the person looking back at me is less ugly, less pasty-thighed, less tired than she used to be. Really. It's quite astonishing how it affects me. It's like heroin.

My name is GeekGirl, and I admit that I'm powerless over my addiction.

Soo, now that I know I'm here to stay, I'm ready to start investing in this hobby-turned obsession. I've finally admitted that running and tri-ing is something I plan to keep doing, unlike so many of my other short-attention-span diversions, and I'd like to do it well.

First, I finally admit that despite my love of books, research and reading, I'm finally ready to get help from someone who actually knows what they're doing. (Oh, I know. You're thinking, "but gee, GeekGirl, a 12-minute mile is just BLAZING fast, why the speed, oh, why?")

Many of the New Mexico Outlaws, including Pirate, get coaching from this guy Jimmy (hereafter referred to as The Jimster, just because it's my blog and I can) whom I've heard many, many good things about. And soooooo, this Wednesday I'm going to go and meet the Jimster, and do a speed workout with him and a bunch of folks. It's mostly to make sure there's no serious personality conflicts, but I'm already impressed by what he offers. In particular, when he begins coaching you, he offers an "initial fitness assessment thingy", which, according to his website, includes...

...video analysis of running gait, bike fitting for all bikes you train and race on,
swim stroke analysis of all strokes, nutritional consultation, body compostition,
postural assessment, weight room routines, VO2 max and Sub Max testing,

and mental training and racing strategies.

How cool is that?

Along those same lines, Sweet Baboo has finally talked me into splurging and getting a serious tri bike. I've balked at this before because, as you may or may not know, I once bought a house for $2500. It was when I was horribly poor and living in rural South Dakota, raising three kids, and going to college. From then until now, nearly 20 years later, I tend to compare things to the cost of that house. As in, "I can't buy that - it costs more than a house."

However, I think I'm sufficiently comfortable now that I'm employed and no longer single to do something nice for myself. So, I'm thinking Colorado Multisport in Denver. I'm thinking Kestral airfoil pro, because I'm wondering if no seat tube = softer ride. I'm thinking HED 3's. Yeah, I know - I vowed not to make my bike any lighter until I made myself lighter. I didn't say anything about a new bike, however, so I get off on a technicality.

Any suggestions? comments or experiences in getting bike bling?

...

MVCT (07) Race Report

So, I was asking a friend of mine this morning, "How long do you think I'll be able to milk this 'I've had a bad cold and that's why I suck so much' thing?" and she said, "I think your time is about up."

So it is with heavy heart that I admit that I really need to train. I don't suck because I have a cold. I suck because I suck.

But anyway.

The Mesilla Valley Track Club Sprint Triathlon is a reverse tri, 5K-25K-500m pool swim, held near Las Cruces, New Mexico. I did this race last year, and I seem to recall being the slowest one, finishing dead last but I can't find my results just now, so I don't know for sure. I tried warming up for the run, which helped a bit, but it wasn't too long into the 5K before my heart rate soared up into the 170's and I started sucking wind. KrissyGo ran past me early on and said Hi, and eventually, so did most other folks. I did a bit better than last week's triathlon, probably because it was flat. I originally was going to pace off a friend of mine that I passed last year, but I'm so out of shape that she blew me away. So I tried someone else. Eventually I gave up and slogged in, finishing the 5K in 32:59, which is actually an improvement over my run in January, I think. And this time, I wasn't nauseated.

The bike is quickly becoming a beloved part of the triathlon for me, particularly in reverse tris, because I get to pass people who blew me away on the run. They say that it's rude to count out loud the number of people that you pass in a race, but that doesn't mean I can't whisper to myself, "there he is - number six" so that's what I did. It's pretty bumpy pavement most of the way with rollers. I like to attack the upslope on the rollers and stay seated, so that as soon as my cadence drops even a tiny bit I shift down, and then shift back up as soon as I feel my feel lifting off the the pedals on the downslope. I stayed in the big ring and I finished the 15.6 miles in 59:33. Nothing interesting happened. (I didn't even leave my brakes on this time.)

(This would be a good time to utter a friendly reminder to folks out there who are reading this and contemplating their first triathlon. First, please, I'm so glad you are enjoying this, but triathlons are not a good time to practice riding down the center of the bike lane with no hands, weaving back and forth just for fun. Also, could you please, please, please make sure you keep to the right on the bike, unless you are blazing fast? Finally, I'm so glad that you are doing this with your very favorite friend or sweetheart, but you're not supposed to ride side-by-side like that; in fact, you can get a penalty for doing any of the things I've just mentioned. Just take off your headphones, and have a great time. Thanks in advance!)

The 500 meter swim seemed to go on forever. It's a 50 meter pool, and of course, I've barely glanced at pools in the past three months. My time was a shameful 14:50, and I was whooped.

I didn't really expect any blingy bling, and I didn't get any. My age division at this fairly large in this race (for the southwest series, anyway) and was 6 deep, and sixth is what I got. I had a good time, though: beautiful, windless day, and a nice race! My goal was to finish in 1:55 or less, and I finished in 1:50. Sweet Baboo got first Clydesdale in the 40+ division, (of course) and Mini-baboo got first place in the 16 and under.

This week, I start my training anew, now that I'm over the cold (now I just seem to have some annoying throat clearing disorder, which doesn't really affect me but seems to affect Sweet Baboo to no end, although he's too nice to do anything about it except glance at me sideways each and EVERY time I loudly clear my throat) and it's warmer out. I want to start getting ready for Ransom Canyon sprint tri in May, the second time I've done it. It will be my first open water swim for this season. My main goal for that race is to make it up that grade 9 hill at the beginning of the bike without swearing OR getting off my bike.

Yes. I will start training. This time, I mean it.

No really.

Seriously. I mean it this time.

Stop laughing!

I really do mean it.

...