SOMA: In which I chased myself down.

Okay, so, SOMA. Results are posted here.
I'm going to be comparing my experience here to my experience at the Redman, since I did such a poor job of taking care of endurance needs at that race. Ah, well, lesson learned, and learned well.
I highly recommend this race. The bike portion alone is worth the price, because it's wild ride. For a race only 4 years told, it was well organized, and as a completely anxiety-ridden moi, I appreciate that I never, ever had to mix with--shudder--city traffic. AND, the triathlon gods blessed us with phenomenal weather: the sun stayed behind the clouds most of the day, leaving is a cool (low 80's) windless day.

We New Mexico Outlaws were all there bright and early in transition, including Pirate, Bones, Sweet Baboo, Myles, Ricky V, Wingman, and Wiz, aka, "wait-I've-got-a-different-idea-let's-change-our-plans-and-boy-do-I-need-a-nap") I got a chance to meet Benny, but I'm sorry to say that I had no idea what he said to me because I didn't have my hearing instrument in - he seemed really pleasant, though. I never did get to meet Nytro, who may have been afraid that I would force-feed her something healthy.

The swim went off a bit late, prompting my anxiety level to ride even higher, as I was concerned about the course closing, but no matter.

I had a competitor to chase down.

Someone who's ass I seriously wanted to kick.

A weapy, self-pitying silly Athena who finished crying at the OK Redman.

I'm talking, of course, about ME.

Let me REMIND you that my time at the Oklahoma Redman was just a moment shy of nine hours. How badly I mismanaged hydration and nutrition. How I wound up with a post race body temp of 95.6, which means (according to the CSI episodes I've watched) that I've been dead for three hours.

This was different. I was ready and waiting to chase her--me--down.

Some things I figured out beforehand, bearing in mind that everyone is different:

1. Drinking high electrolyte drinks all day long the day before the race? Bah. They went right through me. The fact that I spent the entire day before and most of the race itself in the loo should have been a red flag. THIS time, I drank a lot of water and Poweraid Option the day before, and it worked fine for me.
2. I just can't eat a huge carb breakfast. I don't know a whole lot about hypoglycemia but I've suspected that I am in the past, and the high carb breakfast spikes my insulin level, I think, leaving me weak and weary early on. For this race, I ate a large dinner (I'm going to mention the restaurant you want to avoid later) the night before, but a light breakfast consisting of a sandwitch of vegan lunchmeat and cheese, about 2 hours prior to the race. I think the protein acted as a nice buffer.
3. Hammer Perpetuum throughout the entire bike at SOMA. it rocks.
4. I sucked down caffein throughout the entirety of the Redman. Don't think it works for me. this time, I limited my caffein intake.

So, the swim.
Well, you leap off the staging area right into the deep water. There's no walking out. You swim out about 100 yards or so to the starting line and wait for the large airhorn. I was in the women's 30-to-70 wave. (yeah, I know.) Anyway, there's no current. I've never taken off in the middle of the pack like that--I usually start out at the back--and I never will again. I'm just not ready for it. It was a human washing machine. I spent a great deal of time just treading water, while other people around me splashed mightly and smacked me. Despite this bedlam, I managed to shave a bit of time off my Redman time. At the end of the swim, hefty high school wrestlers hoist you out of the water back onto the staging area, and if you're at the back of the pack, like me, you get full use of the wetsuit strippers.
REDMAN SWIM TIME: 1:02 / SOMA SWIM TIME: 00:52:51

In T1, I tried desperately to get all the tiny grass clippings off my feet, shove them into my bike socks, sucked down half a bottle of Perpetuum, grabbed my inhaler, helmet, bike shoes, and headed out. (At right: me headed out onto the bike course.)

The bike loop was 3 trips around the craziest bike ride I've ever taken.
Each loop had several out-and-backs. I was doing my slow version of "hauling ass", since I was trying desperately to get off the bike course before it closed at 11:30. What I didn't know was that it didn't close until noon. Toward the middle of the first loop, I threw a chain, and spent the rest of the bike ride wiping bike grease across my face and nose without realizing it.

I also didn't know that I still had a couple of Clif Shot blocks in the bottom of my bento box leftover from the Redman. They glued everything together so that when I pulled out my sunblock, everything came out in a huge clump and I had to choose between catching the inhaler that fell off or the energy bar that fell off. (I chose the inhaler). On the ride, I drank 3 bottles of Perpetuum and a full aero bottle of water, and had one gel with caffein.

Another lesson learned: As I was peddling along, I started muttering a weird cadence to myself "Pedal, pedal, gator ade. Pedal, pedal, gator ade. Pedal, pedal, gator ade." In the midst of this, I suddenly remembered a caveat Bones gave me about the street signs, and looked up just in time to avoid running smack into one. Others were not so lucky. I heard there were some large pile-ups and mass wipe-outs, which I did not see and did not participate in. I've never been in a race this large, and because there was only about 3/4 of a lane for each direction (the signs and pylons took up some room) there were large masses of cyclists would would go blowing by me, even squeezing by on my right.

Toward the end of the ride, I was pretty frantic. I was convinced they were going to shut down the course any second, and my quads were ACHING. I was running out of steam, and wondering how I could possibly do a half marathon after all this madness. Just then, another Athena pedaled past me, further dispiriting me.

REDMAN BIKE TIME: 4:11 / SOMA BIKE TIME: 3:32

At t2, I grabbed a 12-ounce bottle, a bottle of hammer apple-cinammon gel, and drank half of an energy drink, because I think colas suck. (Don't start. I've been trying to get a taste for beer and colas most of my life, with no success). I shoved my feet into dry, sexy toe socks, and then I was off!
The plan: run 10 minutes, walk 5. I experimented for the first two miles with water and gel, and found that the perfect mix for me was to drink about 8-9 ounces of water during my 5 minute-walks, along with a squirt of goo in my mouth. Any more water and I got a side cramp, any less and I got nauseated. I ALSO did NOT pour ice water over me during the race, since I suspect this further confounded my ability to detect dehydration at the REDMAN. The combination for this slow runner worked perfectly. At each aid station, I refilled my tiny bottle, and then stuck in the back pocket of my skinsuit. Every 4 miles or so I ate two enduralytes.

Toward the end of the first loop, I passed Sweet Baboo on a small out and back part of the course and he hollered endearing things at me, which was nice.

The run course was two loops around lake Tempe, which resulted in one of the lonliest moments I have EVER experienced. As I approached the end of the first loop, everyone--I mean EVERYONE--around me turned left. Toward the finish line, and finishing.

I (sigh) turned right, and ran over the timing chip pads. Nobody was there.

After that, the course was largely deserted. Far ahead of me, though, I spotted the Athena that had passed me on the bike. Then, it was so ON

...but in a sad, slow, shuffling kind of way.

It kind of reminded me of a chase seen I saw in a movie once, where the people were riding tricycles. I would just get caught up to her, and then my walk alarm would go off. It was a test in patience. Eventually, though, I passed her and stayed ahead of her.

It was working, but I was starting to run down. I swore freely at the sun each time it threatened to appear, and then As I finished the end of the second run loop, I turned left and was disgruntled to realize that I had to run about 50 yards UP a grassy noll toward the finish line. There was nobody on the grassy noll, and hardly anyone at the finish line, save Sweet Baboo.

REDMAN Half-MARATHON TIME: 3:31 / SOMA RUN TIME: Around 3:06

I wasn't as emotional at the finish as I was at the Redman, but I didn't wind up in the medical tent either. I'm also more sore, since I put more into this race than I did before (mainly because I took better care of my nutrition and hydration needs. I cannot emphasize enough how important this is)

FINAL RESULTS:
REDMAN TOTAL TIME: 8:56:05
SOMA TOTAL TIME: 7:4704
17/22 Athena

PS: I appreciate the support and comments about Birdy Lisa. However, birdy people are generally fast. There's just no running them down. And all reports are that she was horribly embarassed by her mistake. As well she should be.

Also, AVOID a restaurant called OREGANOS. We waited for an hour to get seated. Then we waited an hour for the food. It was very good food, but let's face it, after smelling food for two hours, ANY food tastes great. So, you're thinking, that's a lot of time to visit and chat with your friends...absolutely true, unless the music is blasting so loud that everyone else in the restaurant is screaming over it and finally you give up and shut off your hearing aid and just smile and nod at anyone who tries to hold a conversation with you. I followed some of it. It was exhausting.
After the race, I was so hungry I ate two suppers. I apprantly burned somthing like over 4000 calories. At the second supper, I had a pomegranate margarita. Avoid this. They are $9 each. That must be why they don't put the prices on the drink menu at Uno's.

...

Birdy Lisa

Well, we made it to Tempe. Holy cow, it's hot here. Not looking forward to running in the heat tomorrow. We've already picked up the goodie bag, numbers, and chip. Inside th bag was a water bottle, head sweats visor, and the T-shirt. For some reason, only 'girls' as in LITTLE girls T-shirts were were available, so my shirt is size XXL. Fat reminder #1 is in play.

Next, Sweet Baboo and I rode our bikes over to the check-in and set them up in transition, then wondered around with some of the other NM Outlaws on our team. They introduced me to a perky, tiny bird person named Lisa, who is a recent graduate, apparently, of the Norman Stadtler Charm School.

I say that because upon introduction, she glanced at Sweet Baboo and I, and then asked sweetly, "So, are you two here to be cheerleaders tomorrow?"

Cricket. Cricket. Cricket.

Let me just try to share with you how difficult it is, ever, to make me speechless. As I stood there, mouth agape, Sweet Baboo spoke up and said, "um, actually, we're in the race."

B&#$H!

Deep breaths. I will ignore any thoughts that I have that this was some type of intentional dig, and assume the best: Birdy Lisa is just one of those people with a raging impulse disorder who blurts things out when she's off her meds.

Anyway, I'm going to get ready to go to dinner, and try not to feel fat.

I haven't connected with Nytro yet, but I have left her a voice message on her cell phone. A bunch of us are headed over to Oreganos tonight for the pre race meal, so maybe I'll see her and Pirate there.

T-minus 14 hours. And counting.

..

Narcisisstic post #100

This is my 100th post. To honor this occasion, I've decided to share many things you maybe didn't know about me.

I tried to come up with 100, but didn't quite make it. In no particular order, here they are:

1. I spent nearly all of my childhood in Hoover, Alabama.
2. I spent my teenage years in Dallas, Texas.
3. But I'm still a left-wing, a-theist Vegan liberal.
4. That means the other Southerners won't hang out with me.
5. I eat white sugar, and I'm sick of salads.
6. I don't believe in astrology or reiki because they aren't supported by empirical data.
7. That means the other Vegans won't hang out with me.
8. I don't have a Southern accent.
9. But I have seen a tornado.
10. It sounded just like a freight train.
11. I was hyperactive as a kid.
12. I used to forget how to eat.
13. I never had problems with my weight most of my life.
14. Then in my thirties, I learned how to cook.
15. After I learned how to cook, I started eating and boy, did I gain weight.
16. I lost part of my hearing when I was a baby.
17. I didn't know I was hearing-impaired.
18. I just thought I was just "right-eared."
19. Now I wear a hearing aid.
20. When people annoy me, I just shut it off.
21. Sometimes it gives feedback in a loud, piercing tone that only I can hear, and when the batteries are dying, it beeps continuously until I change them or shut it off.
22. Sometimes when my hearing aid beeps at me, I forget myself and talk back to it while I'm in public. I say things like, "Okay, fine, just a minute. Jeesh."
23. In college, I double-majored in Earth Sciences and Education.
24. That means I have a degree in rock-collecting.
25. But I have all summer long to do it.
26. My mom was a professional artist.
27. Once, my mom was teaching me how to draw faces, and she told me that my nose was not in proportion to my face.
28. Then when I was 37, I got a nose job.
29. I broke my arm once.
30. I slammed the car door on it.
31. My mom didn't believe me.
32. And waited 5 days to take me to the hospital.
33. I don't want you to think I didn't have a great mom.
34. She was just really distracted.
35. I once got attacked by a turkey.
36. I was trespassing on a farm in Alabama.
37. I wanted to pet the cow.
38. I have one sister.
39. Her name is BariLynn.
40. She is the pretty, sensible one.
41. My sister had one child, after she'd been married many years to a sensible man, in a home in a nice neighborhood with decent schools.
42. I had three children right after high school before I could afford them and before I had a house and was divorced almost immediately.
43. I'm the weird sister.
44. But my life is more interesting.
45. When I was a freshman at U. South Dakota, I had a 3-month-old, a 3-year-old, and a six-year-old.
46. I bought a house in South Dakota for $2,500.
47. That's not a typo. I lived in it while I was in college.
48. Unlike college dorms, nobody cared if I put nails in the walls.
49. Actually, some of the walls were missing.
50. And some of the windows.
51. And the pipes leaked.
52. And some of the wiring was bad.
53. But it got me and the kids through college.
54. I used a wood stove during blizzards.
55. I pretended it was really really nice camping.
56. Once I accidentally set my house on fire.
57. The town it was in didn't have 911 service.
58. So I put it out myself.
59. I got a third degree burn on my foot.
60. Two days later, the volunteer fire department showed up.
61. They gave me a sticker for my phone, so that I'd know who to call, the next time I accidentally set my house on fire.
62. I painted over the burned stuff with latex house paint and RUSTOLEUM.
63. You couldn't really tell the difference.
64. When I was in high school, I helped my friends with their math.
65. They paid me in cigarettes.
66. When I was in college, I helped people with their computers.
67. They paid me with bags of disposable diapers.
68. I met my husband in college.
69. The first Christmas gift he gave me was an Eastwing Rock hammer.
70. I was thrilled, because I'd always wanted an Eastwing Rock hammer.
71. I taught high school math for nine years.
72. Most educational administrators don't understand math.
73. So I could tell them anything about what I'm teaching, and they believe me.
74. When I was ten, my dad moved us to Japan for two years.
75. Star Trek sounds weird in Japanese.
76. But yakitori is Awesome.
77. And now I'm hooked on Ramen.
78. (But not if it has dead animals in it)
79. While I was living in Japan, my parents sent me to a private Catholic girls school.
80. Yes, one of those uniforms.
81. And now I have Catholic guilt, and I'm not even Catholic.
82. I have four cats.
83. I'm not, like, a cat collector or anything.
84. I tried to join the air force once.
85. I taught computer classes at a university in Alabama for six months.
86. They "requested" that I give, extra time for the athletes to complete their assignments, but only the athletes.
87. I resigned a month later.
88. I will not leave the house without lipstick on.
89. And I wear makeup during triathlons.
90. This weekend, I'm doing SOMA (you probably already knew that.)
91. I'm still the weird sister.
92. And my life is still more interesting.

...

Last minute jitters.

This week is parent-teacher conference week in Rio Rancho. Actually, the 30th and 31st were set aside, with no school being taught on those days, for conferences, but when you have a thousand or so licensed staff having been told, "now, if you are able to hold the conferences early you will only have to come in for half of one of the two conference days," the result is, well, a thousand or so teachers who work every night the week prior, cramming in conferences so that they can have one-and-a-half whole days off. Of course, one of days will be spent by me driving back from SOMA fingering, I hope, a finisher's medal.

The end of the grading period is chock full of panicked kids wishing they just had a couple more days to make up all that work they neglected for the past nine weeks, and even a few panicked parents who call me and ask me, "Can all this missing work be turned in now? Is there extra credit?"

Sorry, kid. You might as well realize that you can't make up months of neglect in a couple of days. If you could, there'd be no such thing as a taper.

"What's a taper?"

Of course, this week also means that a teacher somewhere is trying to cram my conference about the Jonster in as well. And so it was that I was sitting across from my son's very nice, very affable advisor for the year, who is also one of his JROTC commanders. He's also an ex runner, so we spent some time chatting about that.

I like talking to runners about running, because I like being in their little club, but sometimes, it's intimidating. Not as intimidating as it would be, say, to live in Boulder, but almost. Real runners say things like, "well, I thought about doing some more races, but you know, I just could never cross that 6-minute barrier." or, "I'd like to do more marathons, but I never could quite manage to keep up my 8-minute mile for that long."

Blink, blink.

Oh! um, was I supposed to nod and laugh knowingly? Like I, myself was having that same problem? Actually, I'm still trying to consistently cross that 11-minute barrier on anything other than a 5K. However, I do appreciate the assumption that I look that I could commiserate.
I think I look kinda sporty these days. One of my work collegues told me that they were looking for my name in the paper after the Duke City Marathon, but didn't see it.

(Uh, Ed, I wasn't in that marathon, and even if I were, they only printed the names of the 10 or so front runners. But, thanks--thanks for looking, and thinking that I'm a contender, and that my name would be in the paper.)

Four more days until Soma, and luckily the parent-teacher conferences all week will keep my mind busy and quell that last-minute panic that's setting in, the "wait! oh, wait! give me just one more week - I can get faster, really I can, watch me blow my taper as I desperately try to get some speedwork in a few days before a major event!"

So, in 4 days I'll find out if my performance at the Redman was an anomaly or if I really am that silly and slow. Another chance for me to panic and wish I had pedaled harder all those times behind Sweet Baboo. Another chance for me to wish I'd really pushed it and hadn't skipped any of those training days.

Wait! Can I make up the work late? hey, is there extra credit?

...

Yikes. Just--Yikes.

Now I really have to move my butt.

There's no turning back - it's all paid for.

No refunds.

gulp.

I'm Louisville bound in '07.

C'mon, ladies. (I'm calling out Pirate and Helen, too!) Don't leave me alone in this madness.

I went on an "easy" 6 mile run today as I'm tapering for SOMA. I forgot that this was THAT weekend. THE weekend. The one where they have the Duke City marathon. All the way back, people kept leaping out at me, clapping, screaming, "good job!" and trying to give me things to drink.

I thought I heard someone yell, "Bandit! Swarm! Swarm!" but maybe not.

A photographer kept trying to take my picture, too. I should have let him. Then, when I turned off the path, spectators were trying to help me. "No! That course is that way! THAT WAY!"

It felt good, a good 12-minute pace. I think my goal for 2007 will be to be able to maintain that 12-minute pace throughout 26.2 miles, instead of the 7 or so that I can currently maintain it at before my legs threaten to succeed from the Union.

So far, for 2007, I'm signed up for

• My very, very first marathon: The Rock n Roll Arizona Marathon, during MLK weekend. Husband is doing it, and so it Mini-me--er, I mean, The JONSTER. As soon as he heard me say, "40 cheerleading squads will line the course" as I was reading it from the descriptions, he lifted his head from the fog that it's often in.
  
  "Cheerleaders? I wanna do a marathon!"
  
  We tried to sign him up for the full, but he's on 15, so we signed him up for the half. It'll be a family affair.
  
  I'm also planning to do another Marathon in April, in Albuquerque, but I can't remember the name.
  
  
• Some triathlon in Rocky Point, Mexico, in May. I can't remember the details, and I have no idea how I'm going to do it since I have no more time off
  
  
• Ironman Louisville, the newst Ironman, which will be my first full Iron distance race. Louisville is very close to where my father's immediately family lives, and due north of Birmingam, Alabama where my father and sister (yes, I have one Sister) live, so it's very, very possible that one or both of them may deign to come and watch.
  Possible, but not likely.
  Unless Dad can watch cable, plug in his George Forman grill, AND be a spectator, I don't think so.
  
  In fact, I mentioned to Dad that I was doing this, and he said something like, "Gosh, that's really far off. I just don't know. Pretty far ahead to plan something."
  
  My Dad is retired, and otherwise uninvolved in anything other than Cable and the aforementioned George Foreman grill.
  
  I should mention at this point, that my father has never seen the house that Sweet Baboo and I built in 2004. Sister, meanwhile, has never visited me out of state. Ever. Once I crossed the State line out of Alabama, I lost the right the be visited.
  
  I lost my mother in 1998, and she was really the only one that was interested in any of the weird things I became involved in.
  
  But, anyway.

So, I've signed my life over to training for 2007.

It's not like I had anything else to do.

Other than, Oh, writing that paper for my 2nd master's degree. To finish it. Finally. AND THIS TIME, I MEAN IT, Dr. WELLS!

Oh, and put together a Dossier, which is required to go up the next level in my teaching certificate.

And working.

And taking trig or calculus as a refresher.

But other than that, I've got scads of time.

...

And here I am, taking bellydance lessons.

In a Past Life...

You Were: An Insane Belly Dancer. Where You Lived: Israel. How You Died: Typhoid fever.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

I would like to announce that this morning was the longest I've ever run continuously: 12 miles. EVAR. If you don't count the couple times I stopped for about 15-20 seconds to stretch. My aductors (? those muscles that pull your legs up and down) were screaming toward the end. Yes, yes, I've done two half marathons, but I did the run-walk thing. This time I did my famous sloth run for the whole 12 miles.

I wore my injinji socks - aka "the secret weapon" and my new Ultimate direction Diablo, which carried a liter of filtered water, a 20-ounce bottle of electrolyte fluid, a gel, my phone, my inhaler, and assorted other items. It performed like a champ.

My glutes hurt like hell, too. What's that all about? Anyway, toward the end, Sweet Baboo tried to encourage a faster pace with reminders of our traditional post-long-run-high-glycemic-repast, otherwise known as a huge basket of curly fries and a bean and potato burrito smothered in green chili at Hurricanes.

It didn't make my run faster but, oh, those fries were good.

...