I tried to come up with 100, but didn't quite make it. In no particular order, here they are:
- I spent nearly all of my childhood in Hoover, Alabama.
- I spent my teenage years in Dallas, Texas.
- But I'm still a left-wing, a-theist Vegan liberal.
- That means the other Southerners won't hang out with me.
- I eat white sugar, and I'm sick of salads.
- I don't believe in astrology or reiki because they aren't supported by empirical data.
- That means the other Vegans won't hang out with me.
- I don't have a Southern accent.
- But I have seen a tornado.
- It sounded just like a freight train.
- I was hyperactive as a kid.
- I used to forget how to eat.
- I never had problems with my weight most of my life.
- Then in my thirties, I learned how to cook.
- After I learned how to cook, I started eating and boy, did I gain weight.
- I lost part of my hearing when I was a baby.
- I didn't know I was hearing-impaired.
- I just thought I was just "right-eared."
- Now I wear a hearing aid.
- When people annoy me, I just shut it off.
- Sometimes it gives feedback in a loud, piercing tone that only I can hear, and when the batteries are dying, it beeps continuously until I change them or shut it off.
- Sometimes when my hearing aid beeps at me, I forget myself and talk back to it while I'm in public. I say things like, "Okay, fine, just a minute. Jeesh."
- In college, I double-majored in Earth Sciences and Education.
- That means I have a degree in rock-collecting.
- But I have all summer long to do it.
- My mom was a professional artist.
- Once, my mom was teaching me how to draw faces, and she told me that my nose was not in proportion to my face.
- Then when I was 37, I got a nose job.
- I broke my arm once.
- I slammed the car door on it.
- My mom didn't believe me.
- And waited 5 days to take me to the hospital.
- I don't want you to think I didn't have a great mom.
- She was just really distracted.
- I once got attacked by a turkey.
- I was trespassing on a farm in Alabama.
- I wanted to pet the cow.
- I have one sister.
- Her name is BariLynn.
- She is the pretty, sensible one.
- My sister had one child, after she'd been married many years to a sensible man, in a home in a nice neighborhood with decent schools.
- I had three children right after high school before I could afford them and before I had a house and was divorced almost immediately.
- I'm the weird sister.
- But my life is more interesting.
- When I was a freshman at U. South Dakota, I had a 3-month-old, a 3-year-old, and a six-year-old.
- I bought a house in South Dakota for $2,500.
- That's not a typo. I lived in it while I was in college.
- Unlike college dorms, nobody cared if I put nails in the walls.
- Actually, some of the walls were missing.
- And some of the windows.
- And the pipes leaked.
- And some of the wiring was bad.
- But it got me and the kids through college.
- I used a wood stove during blizzards.
- I pretended it was really really nice camping.
- Once I accidentally set my house on fire.
- The town it was in didn't have 911 service.
- So I put it out myself.
- I got a third degree burn on my foot.
- Two days later, the volunteer fire department showed up.
- They gave me a sticker for my phone, so that I'd know who to call, the next time I accidentally set my house on fire.
- I painted over the burned stuff with latex house paint and RUSTOLEUM.
- You couldn't really tell the difference.
- When I was in high school, I helped my friends with their math.
- They paid me in cigarettes.
- When I was in college, I helped people with their computers.
- They paid me with bags of disposable diapers.
- I met my husband in college.
- The first Christmas gift he gave me was an Eastwing Rock hammer.
- I was thrilled, because I'd always wanted an Eastwing Rock hammer.
- I taught high school math for nine years.
- Most educational administrators don't understand math.
- So I could tell them anything about what I'm teaching, and they believe me.
- When I was ten, my dad moved us to Japan for two years.
- Star Trek sounds weird in Japanese.
- But yakitori is Awesome.
- And now I'm hooked on Ramen.
- (But not if it has dead animals in it)
- While I was living in Japan, my parents sent me to a private Catholic girls school.
- Yes, one of those uniforms.
- And now I have Catholic guilt, and I'm not even Catholic.
- I have four cats.
- I'm not, like, a cat collector or anything.
- I tried to join the air force once.
- I taught computer classes at a university in Alabama for six months.
- They "requested" that I give, extra time for the athletes to complete their assignments, but only the athletes.
- I resigned a month later.
- I will not leave the house without lipstick on.
- And I wear makeup during triathlons.
- This weekend, I'm doing SOMA (you probably already knew that.)
- I'm still the weird sister.
- And my life is still more interesting.
Very nice list. I will be looking forward to part 2 and the next 100 (or so) interesting things about you when you hit post #200.ReplyDelete
gosh...and after finding your blog i was that maybe we could run together sometime...but unlike you, I will not leave the house WITH lipstick on. ;)ReplyDelete
I wear Burts Bees tinted lip stuff when I run. :-)ReplyDelete
It's a rare day that I leave the house without having put on waterproof mascara and lip gloss.ReplyDelete
Best of luck at SOMA! And in Louisville next season. I know I'll enjoy following along.
GOOD LUCK IN SOMA!!!ReplyDelete
Good luck in SOMA, and have fun!ReplyDelete
BTW, I don't think you're weird at all, just fun and cool and inspiring.
Wierd is the new Normal!ReplyDelete
I think if I were to ask my three sisters -they would each think THEY were the wierd one...but my life is STILL more interesting than theres!
Hey I got a nose job too...I had my mom's nose..kinda regret a little but of that...!
If I put on lipstick I lick it right off! My daughter won't let me use hers for that reason....so I use a "chapsitck" sunscreen for my lips instead. I still lick it off.
Isn't waterproof mascara the "bees knees"? :-)
Ps- I will be sending you loads of Tucson-based energy tomorrow!ReplyDelete
Love your list. You should (if you are not already) be a writer and write your lifestory. I would read it. And understand.ReplyDelete