I'm about to go all Martha Stewart on your ass.

Dear Diary,
I am testing yet another ap, this time on my Droid X2.  It is editing a post I started in Blogsy so there may be some stray html tags here and there. I dont know how the pictures work either. And I don't know.how to post.

I've pretty much given up in ever being able to post easily again.

13. This week I was informed that my degree has been posted. I am now Herself Geekgirl, MSW/LPCC.  The world seems a little brighter. I'm done. DONE, I tell you!  I am now ready to move on with other growth projects.<br><br/><br/>

12. This week I started on a project to do three random acts of kindness a day.  The key is, it has to be something I wouldn't normally do, for no reason that benefits me.  <br/><br/>

11. I have been taking estradiol and progesterone for 16 days. My hot flashes have become warm flashes. The sheets are only slightly damp. I actually get some sleep.  Since it's all hormones, I just take my estradiol, progesterone, thyroid hormone pills, and EDTA at the same time. My mood started to improve.<br/><br/>

10. But then, despite a week of improving sleep, I was tired again. On what should have been a relatively strenuous hike up a mountain to the crest trail,  that I should have easily handled, I was stopping several times. Was I short of breath? No. Were my legs tired? No. I was exhausted. Despite drinking a red bull, I needed a nap and could have easily taken one right there on the trail. <br/><br/>
Instead of going the full 4.5 miles, I turned back at 3.8. It was exhausting running back down. I was discouraged, and bewildered. What the hell was wrong now? I should be recovered from my 100k. It was three weeks ago. i should be stronger from it!<br/><br/>

9. On a lark, I googled THYROID INTERACTION ESTROGEN, and there it was. <br/><br/>Motherf... yet aNOTHER thing that interferes with thyroid medication. In as many as 40% of women taking thyroid meds and HRT, an adjustment is needed in their thyroid medication.<br/><br/>
Does it ever end? At what point do I get to stop feeling like I'm no longer a person, but an amalgam of pills and parts?  Time to see the endocrinologist, I think.<br/><br/>

8. I want some bread.  I have been making bread all week. Living a mile above sea level as I do, it has taken some adjusting to get it right.<br/><br/>

7. I'm now training for Javalina Jundred. I'm going to try to finish it faster this time. Also, Bandera 100k, in January. <br/><br/>6. Blind Kitty is now a lanky teenager. She knows her way around the house well enough for take a running leap onto a breakfast nook she knows will always be there.  She follows me around and snuggles next to me on the bed. And for some inexplicable reason, likes to sit in open windows. <br/><br/>

5. I have an apple tree, laden wi fruit. This week I bought one of those crank things that peels apples, canning jars, and a canning tool set. I made four pints of apple butter, using my crock pot. For the second two pints, I used splenda.  Since the grapes are ripe, grape jam is in the works. This, I imagine, is what people who are not in school do with their time. They garden. They make jam and bread.  Hopefully, it will set. If not, there will be plenty of grape nectar to go around.<br/><br/>
So, yeah. Homemade bread, lots of jam. What could go wrong?

4. This week Twenty-first Century Mom was in town for the wedding of Dreadpirate Rackham to...uh, Mr. Black. He doesn't have an alias, so I'll call him Mr. Black.  <br/><br/>

3. Also, people not in school any more hang bunches of herbs to dry around the house. And make rosemary wreaths. I'm about to go all Laura Ingals up in here.  Martha Stewart is in the hiz-ouse.<br/><br/>
I have instructions for using my car, sitting in the August New Mexico sun, as a giant dehydrator to create sun-dried tomatoes from my garden.  I promise to take pictures of this.<br/><br/>

2. This week, we went to Leadville for three of the four races that Baboo is doing for his Grand Slam of Ultrarunning series. Mini Baboo and Mama Baboo, who recently moved to New Mexico, joined us. mama Baboo had never seen the finish line of a 100-miler, and Sweet Baboo got a big hug from Mama right before.crossing the line in 29:13.<br/><br/>
Next, we head to Salt Lake City for the last run of the grand slam: Wasatch Front Endurance Run.

1.  While in Twin Lakes, I went for a run by the shore of the lake. I had very idealic picture of what this might be like. As it turns out, it is much better in thoery than in practice. The shoreline was steeply sloped, covered in cobbles. Underneath the cobbles I had my choice of soft, deep, dry sand or wet, spongy sand.
But, it was crisp, in the forties, just the break I needed. I wound up finishing my shortened run on the road. Still: running alomg the shoreline. In case you thought it would be awesome, I'm happy throw myself on that the sword for you.

You're welcome.

A Sweaty, Steamy Thursday 13.

Dear Diary,

I don't mind blogging on my iPad, but it's hard to put in pictures.

13. Mama said there'd be days like this. She talked about how awesome menopause was, and how happy she was to be rid of "all that".

12. But she never said that menopause would make me so shiny. And damp.


11. She never told me about the tiny fan I'd park next to my keyboard. Or that I would become quite good at unobtrusively switching it on while talking to someone in my office. And then sixty seconds later, switching it off again.


10. Mom didn't tell me that I'd be waking up four or five times every night, shoveling sheets and covers onto poor Sweet Baboo, only to rip them back off him again 60 seconds later.


9. And the insane cravings for bread and cheese. Is that part of it? I don't know. But there it is. And it's keeping me from making race weight. If' it's not related to menopause, shhhhhh. Don't tell my ass that. Thing is, I bought a breadmaker. Ooo. This is bad. Very, very bad. I made rosemary bread, using rosemary that grows in my garden. And then put cheese on it. Brie, Colby, whatever. As long as its cheese. I wouldn’t look for that little weight indicator at the tope of my page to change soon.




8. She didn't live long enough to tell me I would be googling estrogen, progesterone, etc.


7. Due to the constant sweating and wiping of my forehead and brow, I have the skin I had as a teenager.


6. Sweet Baboo said it's all part of the mystery and joy of being a woman. Right before I considered throwing a shoe at him (I didn't). My sense of humor waxes and wanes these days. For the most part, I've settled into all this, but the sweating and panting makes it hard to do it with grace.


5. I was once worried about estrogen as a performance reducer. Not any more. I don’t think there’s much that can make me any slower.


4. The doc gave me two prescriptions for hormones: estrogen and progesterone. My cost for those prescriptions: about $8. $8 for one month. Do you KNOW how much I've been spending on Black Cohosh, Progestacare Plus (over-the-counter progesterone and estrogen cream) and Maca Root? I'll give you a hint: It's not $8. It's about 5x that much.


3. Day 2 of the hormones, and my hot flashes are coming once an hour instead of several times per hour. I slept better last night. It’s cheaper, it works-- Bah. Give me Western Medicine. Keep the hippie alternative thearpies.


2. This Sunday is the La Luz trail run. I’ve done this one before. My time last year was about 3:59 or so, I think. I’d like to beat that this year.


1. I’m pretty sure I’m going to pay another visit to Javelina Jundred this year. I’m planning to see if I can beat my blistering 18+ time for the 100K from 2010.


 

 

 

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An annotated course description: the Vermont 100k

Dear Diary,

32 mile drop bag.  Contents: headlamp
jacket, extra pair of shoes, sunscreen,
extra shirt and shorts,
and of course, Ensure Clear + Larabars
(my super foods)

What follows is a description of the course from the website, and my comments.

Vermont 100 Mile Course Description - 2012

There is 9000 feet in elevation gain…the course is going up or down most of the time with only a few stretches that are flat. The last 30 miles are rather challenging....

Yeah. Thanks for that, by the way.

...The first six miles are rollers on a paved road, mainly, leading up to the point where they connect with the 100-milers at mile 6.7. Then there is a mile of paved moderate uphill, then back onto some climbing single track/horse trails until you get to Jenne Rd. Up some, then a sweeping down and up and soon a nice downhill stretch into Camp Ten Bear (the first time)

I didn’t take gels on this course. Instead, I loaded my pack with Gatorade and ate PBJ on white bread throughout the course. It seemed to do the trick.

…a half mile hump that connects you to a 22 mile-long loop. Some road, then meandering trail and Agony Hill – a lumpy steady uphill grind to the halfway point, then on gravel again to Pinky's. Cross Tyson Rd. and it's class 4 dirt road for 2 miles of easy upgrade to Birminghams… Cross a big field into the woods and snowmobile trails, up and down and out onto gravel for a nice 2 mile downhill breather to Tracer Brook.

51 mile drop bag.  Contents: socks, Ensure clear + Larabars.
This bag was deliberately left largely empty in casee I wanted
to drop off gear here.,

The downhill breathers are, pretty nice. But I had a sense of entitlement by the time I reached them, because after all, the course owes you this. Here, at mile 19, I took out my Ensure Clear and 2 larabars (nearly 700 compact calories), and changed my socks. Then, according to the course description:

…now facing mostly uphill for 9 miles. First 3 are the steepest and only a few level sections…then that hump again and Ten Bear again (mile32) where pacers can join you.

My take: After mile 19, you start a a soul-sucking long uphill. It rises nearly 1000 feet, all the way. Here you will hate everyone and everything. You ask,who am I kidding? I’m no distance runner. I have no business being here.

"Somebody, somewhere, owes me a flat, cool trail run," I grumbled darkly, "and that someone is wearing a ring that looks just like mine."

Occasionally, a horse would go clopping by, with unnervingly cheerful riders on their backs. "I'd be cheerful too, if a large animal was doing all the work," i grumbled darkly. But it was pretty cool seeing the horses. We had gotten a lecture on how to approach, or be approached, by the horses, and they us. They were far, far more courteous than being passed by, say, roadies. And they smelled better too.



Oh, shut up. You know it's true.

At Camp Ten Bear (mile 32), I was weighed. My weigh-in was at 160.6, and at Camp Ten Bear I weighed in at 160.7. Story of my fucking life – I run 32 miles and gain an ounce. A nurse told me it was white around my mouth, and that I needed to sit down. She tested my Oxygen and said it was a little low, but coming back up. I put on my ice bandana, drank/ate some more Ensure clear and Larabars, and headed out, and started up “heart break hill” but take it from me, after the climb after mile 19, nothing will bother or surprise you again. Okay, that’s a lie – it will bother you, but you won’t have the energy to be truly angry. Instead, you just try not to cry.

…In your planning keep in mind that the last 30 miles are challenging, with a number of trail sections and short, steep uphills. Just out of Ten Bear, there's a half mile level trail then ¾ mi. fairly steep up Heartbreak Hill on bumpy, usually wet jeep road. A mile of easy grade gravel and first up and down on 2 miles of trail, then back on road at Seabrook at 75.1.

My note: Don’t get off track here. I was busy unwrapping a Larabar and went down the wrong path; it cost me about 20 minutes. At about mile 45, Sweet Baboo came strolling up, I say strolling though he was moving at a sub-10 minute pace. He was maddenly cheerful and gosh, I have to admit I was too, because I was on track to finish. baboo had made me a pace chart, and if you Plan to do this 100k ask me and I'll send it to you.

Anyway, he showed up and asked his pacer if he would stay with me, as it was getting dark. I was, to be honest, pretty grateful for this; although I was to be running until 4 or 5 am, it never occurred to me to get one. I think the pacer was somewhat annoyed at first, as he engrossed himself in conversation with another runner and appeared not to hear the same question when asked it, loudly, about three times, but he redeemed himself by become the most awesome pacer ever. If it weren't for him, I don't think I would have finished.

Bob the Pacer is a physician from Massachusettes. He's getting ready to run The Bear. He was friendly and kept me talking by asking me about myself, which of course is my favorite subject at times. He didn't seem to mind that I wass mostly walking by now, and even got me to run at times when I though I didn't have it in me.

...Then single track up and down and up a steep gravel driveway to Spirit-of-'76 handler station (which is actually at 39 miles). Head out onto 1.5 mi. of up and down trail, then 10 miles of uninterrupted road, most of it downhill, and then a couple of steep roller coaster ups in the last mile to Bill's at 51.5 mi..

At Bill's they weighed me again. 161.5. DAMMIT. See what I mean? But by then I knew that my nutrition and hydration were spot on. i sat down for a bit, but not too long because I didn't want to get chilled. After this, you don’t really know what’s going on because it’s pitch black and you’re trying to watch for glowsticks and not wander off the course. If you have a pacer extraordinaire, as I did, then you can simply focus on the growing pain in your feet—thank goodness for that. i took a no doze, and two advil, and two Tylenol, and I was ready to rock and roll. Or trudge 11 miles. They told me thirteen more. I wept. But at the same time, I have to mention, I was enjoying myself. I loved seeing the horses, and there wasn't NEARLY as mich horse manure on the course as I'd envisioned.

All in all, though, I didn't suffer as much as I had at Javalina 100, despite this being a much more challenging course. Toward the end the hills were simply inevitable. They just kept coming, and were shorter, but since I was moving slower they seemed about the same. At mile 59, my Garmin finally died, taking to heaven all of its data. Yes, that's right. Fucking 310x didn't retain a sing bit of of the 59 miles , like it never happened. It hate it for that. I hurt, but it wasn't the kind of pain that made me cry out. It was a loud ache like, well, like I'd been on my feet for nineteen hours, or something.
And then ahead of me I saw lights of a different color. " There's the finish line," said Bob the Pacer.

You're lying. There is no finish line.

"No really. It is. "

I'll believe it when someone hands me a medal, I grumbled.

i found out the next day that I was the last official finisher. Anyone not finishing the 100k was listed as DNF. They gave me these for finishing...and for finishing under 20 hoirs.
When I crossed the finish line I burst into tears. Then I sat down for a while, until someone asked me if I needed anything, and then I wept again. "I want my husband."

"go check over there," motioning to a sea of bodies, prostrate on cots. Many of them had their heads covered. I thought I saw Sweet Baboo's feet, and his pack. But I hesitated. Didn't want to whip a blanket off some total stranger. Just then, he uncovered mis head and looked toward me and grinned.

"You finished!"
I burst into tears again. "that was hard," I sobbed. 

He, who had just run 100 mies to my 63, nodded sympathetically.

"Lets go back to the hotel and get some sleep," he said.

And then we did.
The end.

...

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Yes, I finished.

Dear Diary,

Yes, I finished. I only cried at the finish line. I want to write a race report, coming soon.

Posted with Blogsy

Dateline:Vermont

Dear Diary

It's race day.

Well, it's not race day, not yet. Today I picked up my "packet": my shirt, bib (#431), two meal tickets and some safety pins. Then I listened to a fairly entertaining speech "welcome to the Vermont 100!" about how to approach a horse from behind in the dead of night. My 100k, as it turns out, goes all night. And it goes on as the same time as an endurance horse race. Sweet Baboo thinks that's cool. I'm trying to put the vision of steaming piles of horse manure out of my head.

Now it's 10:30 and I can't sleep.

Sweet Baboo's hundred mile race will be starting at 4 am, so we'll be up at 1 am and leaving the hotel by 3. After he leaves I have five hours to nap in the car until my race starts at 9 am.

For some reason I didn't pay much attention to this race. My mind has been full of other things this year. Two weeks ago I realized it started at--"wait, 9 am? That means I'll be running into the night!" Panicked. Afraid.

"Yup!' said Mr. Cheerful. "in fact, all night!"

Shit. Horse shit, to be precise.

"I'm terrified of this race, I confessed to Baboo as we were packing for our trip to Vermont. It's a 20 hour time limit, and some really crazy hills, all the way through.

"Try to be positive," he warned. "Don't take that onto the course with you."

Whatever.

They weighed me. I've never been weighed for a run before. And took my blood pressure. And warned me that I cannot lose more than 10 lbs during the race. I laughed, the laugh of a frightend, insane woman, and drank some more gatorade. Then the speech about the trails, no headphones allowed, because of the horses. We need to be able to hear them coming. I'm pretty sure that well into the race, at night, nobody on a horse will be behind me, but whatever. It's a rule, I'll follow it. Alone at night, in the dark New England woods, I'll talk to myself. And hope that no voices talk back.

I dropped off my 3 drop bags, each with a new Ensure clear (peach-flavored), two Larabars, fresh socks, and other assorted items. The 50-mile bag has head lamp and batteries in it. It didn't occur to me I might need a pacer, so I didn't arrange one.

There's no athlete tracking.

So, well, *Deep breath* hopefully, I'll see you on the other side of the finish line.

...

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I won't go changin'.

Dear Diary,

I finally figured out that I can load the "old" blogger interface! Yay! Then I was bummed out when I reealized my work computer still won't let me post. Boo. However, it won't let me save a post as a draft, so there's no way of knowing if this is even going to post.

It occurs to me that there are some things that running hasn't changed about me.

13. It hasn't improved my decision-making skills. This past weekend for reasons I cannot fathom I am now signed up for the Bandera 100k. It's in January. Mmm. There's a fairly generous cutoff, I think, and I've been told that there's some nasty step climbs and then lots of runnable stuff. What the hell; I won't know if I try, right?

12. On the other hand, I'm certain I have made one decision: I was asked the other day if I was working my way up to doing 100 miler. i am not.. At least, I don't think so. What I've been able to figure out is that running 100 miles is a lot like getting a PhD. You have to really, really, want it. I don't. Then again, I once said that I didn't really feel the need to ever do a marathon. Still later, I said I didn't feel the need to ever do an Ironman. So much for resolve.

Thing is, if I don't have a crazy-assed long race looming on the horizon then I have trouble getting up and running. And if I don't train, I'll gain weight.

I'm not even sure if I can pull off the Vermont 100k on the 21st. But I've already been assigned a bib number 431.

11. Also, I've agreed to do the swim leg at the Cochiti oly triathlon. This is a week after Vermont. Our team is the Honeybadgers, because we don't give a $hit. Since then, I've been trying to get up early enough to get into a pool. Friday, I will do it. I mean it. Will.

10. Running hasn't made me neater. Poor Baboo. His mother warned me when we decided to get married that he's picky, and I took that to mean that I might be xtra special, since he's so picky. But I worry that he suffers so. Honestly, I don't like being messy. I'm not one for glorifying it or making dumb excuses I need for everything to be out where I can see it. So, I am working on some mindfulness stuff to try to concentrate on doing just one thing at a time. Take out what I need, do what I need, put it away. I'm working on it.

9. On the other hand, I've made good progress on simplifying. Doors slide shut easily on my dresser. I can find things. I open cabinets and I can see what's inside. It's awesome. You know how when you first walk into an empty house you love how spacious it is? Then you fill it up with stuff. That's what I did...but now, the house is starting to look spacious again. I feel i have more time to run, because I can find things, and i love coming home to my cozy, but spacious, home.

8. Running also hasn't changed my attraction to batter-dipped, fried foods. Or anything with coconut in it. The trifecta, of course, would be coconut chocolate anything, batter-dipped and fried. Ooohhhhhh. But I digress.

7. Running hasn't changed peri-menopause. Lately, hot flashes and night sweats have been driving me crazy. I wake up in wet sheets five or six times per night. I finally got some standardized Black Cohosh tablets, which has worked for me before. If they don't start working soon I'm taking the plunge -- HRT. No, I don't want to hear any horror stories about it, thanks.

6. Running hasn't changed my love of baths. I wish I had a deep, garden tub. Right now my bathtub is attached to the shower that the resident 21-year-old is using. It's far less relaxing when I have to lock the door and who knows what kind of boy germs are floating around?

5. Running hasn't changed my general annoyance toward parents, particularly the ones who can't seem to separate themselves from their children. But I suppose I am a bit more patient.

4. Running hasn't made me more confident about my looks. I still wear makeup to trail runs.

3. Running hasn't caused me to stop eating in my car. It's pretty gross. It's next on my hit list of bad habits.

2. Running hasn't made me less of a geek. I like that my bib number for Vermont is a prime number. And I'm currently working on my pace chart for Vermont in Excel.

1. What running has done is make life in general less frightening. All the managed care reviewers, oblivious parents, and general unpleasantries that life has are less daunting. At least it's not an ironman, I think. At least it's not a 30 mile run in Colorado. no, it's just an asshole with an attitude.

...

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On crewing (2)

Dear Diary,

A lot has been written about the logistics of crewing. But having been crewed once, and having observed other crews, and been crewing Sweet Baboo for the past few years, I felt like I wanted to weigh in on some other aspects of crewing. I had a pretty good crew to work with this weekend, and I am grateful for it. I forgot for a few minutes that I was supposed to be in charge but overall, our crew was pretty great.

What follows is long, but I feel it's important.

First, If you are expecting a grateful runner, and running in with them to the finish, and you're hurt because someone snapped at you or you didn't get to be in charge, or your feelings are hurt because someone else got to help your runner or you didn't, get over it. You are there to work. Put your self-entitlement aside. Crewing is about getting the runner to the finish line safely, and as comfortably as one can finish 50, 100k, or 100 miles. It's about the runners. Being there is a privilege, and it's hard work. It you can't accept that, you shouldn't be crewing.

The crew should have a crew chief. The crew chief alone communicates with the runner and the pacer and then gives directions to the crew. The chief should be take-charge, and familiar with crewing and ultra-running. If you have an idea, make a suggestion during a calm moment. Do not argue while caring for the runner. If only one person is allowed into an aid station, that is the crew chief. Do not get caught up having your feelings hurt. It isn't about you. It's about the runners.

Be prepared to perform grooming in a car. Be ready for all your meals to be "to go". Pack as though you were camping. Wear comfortable clothes and dress in layers. Be prepared to not get enough sleep. If the crew chief says we are leaving now, be ready to be left behind if you aren't ready to move. Maybe they'll be back for you. Maybe you'll need to catch another ride with another crew. Put aside pride, the need to be recognized, to be pretty, to smell good, and to party. This is work. Don't get all pissed off because you didn't get your favorite food, or couldn't follow your special diet for 24 hours. If the runner gets a little bitchy and snaps at you, get over it. If you want a fun weekend, then be a spectator and stay out of the way. You have no "rights." Ask if you can have something from the aid station. Move back and out of the way. It is not about you. It is about the runners.

Notice that I said "runners". We want everyone to finish. If you see another runner in distress, help them. Don't tell another crew that you're "saving this space" for "our runner". We are all working together for the runners. If you couldn't make it on time to an aid station to help your runner, you'd want someone to help them out, right? Help out others. And always thank the volunteers. Even the cranky ones. It isn't about you. It's about the runners.

Finally, anyone that requires special care, and/or does not provide direct care to the runner, should not be there. Children and pets are spectators, not crew. They lack the capacity for the selflessness that is needed for crewing. This is not the time to have family time, or teach them valuable lessons. It wastes time that is needed to care for the runner. Take them to one or two spectating areas and let them work in signs and cheer, bur don't drag them to every aid station. They get in the way. They need sleep and don't understand why it is cold, or hot, or raining, and they get tired and hungry.

Remember, It's about the runners. Work or get out of the way. Your satisfaction should be from knowing that you helped another person accomplish something amazing. You may be recognized for this. You might not. Be honored that you are witness to the pain, and joy, and suffering. That is what crewing is. It is nothing else.

...

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