Mini-me is headed out for camp for a week, then staying with friends. Here's our itinerary:
- Day 1/2: Flagstaff, AZ for the Mountain Man Sprint triathlon.
- Day 3-4: We hit Lee Vining, CA and Lake Tahoe. Maybe a long swim in Lake T?
- Day 5-7: Portland, OR to visit relatives, and check out their legendary commuter cycling trails.
- Day 8/9: Bend, OR for the Deutches Dash Sprint Triathlon.
- Day 10/11: Pocatello ID, then home.
My daughter called me yesterday. She seemed hurt and bewildered that I was THAT excited about not having any kids along on vacation.
"Dearie, let me explain something to you. Imagine that you have a great life. In this life you have a job, and some money left over to play with. In this life you have a roommate, whom you
"Now, imagine that your roommate is unemployed. You pay for everything. In return, she steals your stuff, throws up on your furniture, floods the bathroom, eats all your favorite food without asking, ruins the carpeting with nail polish, and lies about you to her teachers for sympathy. Do you have that in your head? Can you picture that sweetie? That's parenthood."
"I SAID I GET IT, MOM!!"
Not that I hate kids. Far from it. I've chosen to spent my life teaching, counseling, coaching, and what have you - I consider it a calling. However, I became a mother at 19. I've never, in my adult life, had my own space that wasn't constantly being invaded.
My home should be a sanctuary, so that after being told directly or indirectly by the eighth-graders I teach that I'm an idiot all day, the theory is that I would come home, relax, and gear up for another day.
Except...well, I get it coming and going. I have one 15-year-old left at home, 15-year-old Mini-me, who hates it when I call him that, (so I do it as often as possible, because it's all I've got). Mini-me is actually a pretty good kid, but developmentally, he's a teenager, so he's required to reject all our dearest held values and beliefs while he forms his own, and act in an irrational and irascible fashion. In our family, our dearest held values are education and sound mental health. In school, he endeavors to overcome the stigma of being "the teacher's kid" by making my collegues' lives hell, and I get phone calls about it while I'm teaching, including the once-yearly, "Mom, I overslept. I'm still at home and I missed the bus. What should I do?" (Answer: pretend it's a 5K and start running, triathlon boy.)
Did I mention this vacation would have NO children??