Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Top ten things that annoy me about work this week.

Alternate title: Top Ten Things I Won't Miss About My Job When I Quit.

10. Theme vests. Believe it or not, there are actually adults out there who wear vests, to work, with 3-dimentional sculptures reflecting the nearest holiday or season, and some of them are high school teachers.

9. Those little slips of paper that I get in my box every two weeks telling me how many copies I've used and how many I have left in my "copy budget" for the year.

8. The three or four phone calls I get during class. Somtimes its people asking for the other teach who uses that room and isn't in there, and I'm asked, "well do you know where he is?" despite the deailed rosters telling us where to find every teacher during every period of every day. Sometimes it's the office, calling someone a student upstairs about a referral. When I'm in the middle of trying to get across something and it rings, sometimes, I pick it up and then drop it back into the cradle, buying me a couple extra minutes until they say, "WTF?" and call again. Sometimes I "accidentally" unplug it, so that they have to send office aides.

7. Two words: "MATH JOURNALS" This is the new thing in math education. Not kidding. So far, I have resisted this attempt to draw me into the collective, because I, well, think it's stupid.

6. Getting a cheap wall calendar from the district for the holidays, after finding out that the district office had an evening holiday party for themselves with prime rib. (Oh, then we were all invited to the cafeteria during the next day, and offered the leftovers, "for free." I'm not making this up.)

5. Unannounced fire drills. We all line up facing away from the school, that way if the school explodes, it's better to be struck with projectiles in the occipital lobe than in the face, I guess. Or maybe it's because they don't want the kids to watch the school burn, because that might be a moment of pleasure for them Or the teachers. Meh.

4. Wet days. I have an outside room, and the sand clumps and sticks in the kids' shoes and gets tracked inside. Then it falls out of the shoe treads onto the floor in little clumps. Then it dries some more and falls apart. By the end of the day, my classroom looks like a sandbox.

3. The way the cafeteria announces its faculty "special" that week, and, well it's never very special.

2. The emailed "Friendly reminders" that we get two or three times a week that seems vaguely threatening and never friendly.

and the most annoying thing that I won't miss if I quit my job:

1. Apple-themed anything.


  1. How can you not like an apple?

    Especially when it's on a vest?

  2. #5...... WTH??? Makes no sense.
    #1 Apples are yummy. especially Honey Crisp.

    It's a "when" not an "if"?

  3. My relationship with my job is like a battered spouse kinda thing. I keep staying, hoping things will get better. Any day now, I think, they'll realize how much I mean to them and be really, really sorry I've been so overlooked.

  4. But you're right, I guess it's more of "when" as in, "perhaps this summer"

  5. OMG Girl! I feel you! The MAIN reason I couldn't teach elementary is that I simply cannot look an adult in the face who regularly wears sweaters with crayons knitted into it. WAY too cutesy! Barforama!

    Can I just add to your list?

    1. "Important" staff meetings the day before grades are due that are never very important.

    2. Open house, night time conferences, and any evening meeting expectation that assumes that since I'm a teacher I have no personal life and am willing to work for free.

    3. The lack of freedom to bitch slap the next person who tells me "Well you knew you wouldn't make much money when you went into teaching..." Yes, but I did not take a vow of poverty, nor did I give up my right to have a say over what I do with MY free time. If you want me to work, pay me. If you want me for free, forget it.

    4. Additionally, the lack of freedom to throttle the next person who tells me that I "only" work 9 months a year, or that it must be nice getting all those "paid" vacations. My contract is for 185 days. I get paid for 185 days. I work many MORE than 185 days without any option for more pay. My "vacations" are actually "layoffs" only I can't access unemployment because I get to come back to my low paying job in the fall!

    5. Junk food in the staff room. Come on people! We are ADULTS! Why are we still eating like teenagers with a tapeworm? (One of my bosses, though, brings in Skinny Cows, fruit, and salads. She's awesome.)

    That said, I totally love teaching. The kids just make my day.

  6. Thanks for the memories...I knew there was a reason I am semi- retired! (Or at least 10 of them!)
    How about apples on vests? :-)

    Teaching though makes for interesting and funny blog material!

  7. 10. Theme vests. Believe it or not, there are actually adults out there who wear vests, to work, with 3-dimentional sculptures reflecting the nearest holiday or season, and ***ALL*** of them are high school teachers.

    Sorry--just couldn't help myself!

  8. I'm with you on all of those... here's a few more

    1. co-workers that bitch about EVERY single thing in their lives

    2. having to give top quality speech therapy in a freakin' book closet that leaks

    3. Staff meetings of any kind; that is almost the worst for me. There is no new information EVER. And then there are the fellow staff members that KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS

    4. and my favorite reason- our "stranger with a gun" security plan sends me into the hallway to check on the 10 classes in my hall. WTF- I told my husband if there is ever a gunman at my school I hope he made his peace with me because I am basically dead

    BTW- love your blog

  9. Ha. In our therapy office, we call those "teacher sweaters" and we have all vowed to never wear them, except in our Christmas card picture. (As a joke of course.)

  10. Ha! I had one on staff this year wear a Christmas sweater that LIT up! Holy crap...I didn't think it could get worse, but, somehow it always does.

    I HATE, HATE, HATE staff meetings. I just want to tell people to shut the F*C& UP so we can GO HOME!

  11. Sorry, but I wish they made theme vests to fit me; I'm just too tall ;)

  12. OMG yeah, I forgot about the staff members who bitch all the time. I mean we ALL complain, but if it's a daily habit then it's time to find a new job. You're not doing any good for the kids.

    I also can't STAND staff members who trash the kids. I'm not saying who sit and, out of frustration, complain about a kid who is being a pill. But the ones who call the kids names and obviously just completely dislike some kid for an issue he or she has. I have had kids who drove me nuts, but I've never had a kid I truly didn't like.

    I hope I know when it's time to move on. I'm still loving my job (teach high school IT courses), even with all the issues.

  13. I'm studying to become a teacher and am done with all my classwork, just waiting to student teach in August and will graduate December of this year. :-)

    I was LMBO reading this post because when I started my teaching certification journey I saw a link for teacher vests, so I clicked on it and died laughing. I asked my husband if I have to wear those to teach and to please not let anyone buy me any for graduation. Speaking of light up sweaters my friend is an ER nurse and she wears light up Christmas sweaters in the ER. She looks hilarious.

    Thanks for keeping the teaching thing real.
    Take care,

  14. I taught for 3 years and wasn't appreciated until I quit and found a job as a secretary. Those ladies I worked with thought it was amazing I could copy stuff "back-to-back".

    So what I'm saying is, it's good here on the dark side.


Comments containing links to commercial websites from people with invisible profiles are deleted immediately. Spammers are immediately deleted.


 I'm no longer involved in multisport or endurance sports. I've started my own business, a psychotherapist specializing in anxiety d...