Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Your call is important to us.

Start: at 8 am, with a cup of coffee in one hand, Go to the web site and begin filing a claim for unemployement.

Step 2: GO gather some pertinent information to answer their questions.

Step 3: Get timed out, and not allowed back in the system.

Step 4: Call the local unemployment office and talk to some who--I swear--is on ludes, who promply transfers you to voice mail that asks you to identify by name the person you are calling. Hang up. Call back. explain the problem AGAIN. Be told that "Oh, you won't be able to finish online now. You'll have to call the number.

Step 5: Call the number. No ringing, just a voice that immediately informs you that due to the high call volume, you'll need to call back "later". Press send sixteen times before getting through.

Step 6: Be informed that there are 56 callers ahead of you, and your wait should be less than 20 minutes. The music is loud, hideous and cuts in and out. You cannot leave this one spot in your house in which you know that your cell phone calls will not be dropped--the rest of the house is a black hole and you do NOT WANT TO LOSE THIS CALL.

Step 7: Twenty minutes later, be informed that there are 32 callers ahead of you, and your wait should be less than 8 minutes.

Step 8: Fifteen minutes later, be informed that there are only 23 callers ahead of you, and your wait should be less than 2 minutes. Decide that this must be an alternate universe, where a minute is 120 seconds.

Step 9: Determine also that "number of callers" and "estimated wait time" is not a direct function.
Decide that you will be very, very nice to the customer service rep when they get on the line, because after all, it's not their fault you got laid off, and besides, they could hang up on you, forcing you to spend another 40 minutes waiting on the phone.

Step 10: Worry that your phone battery will die before the customer service rep comes onto the line.

9:28 Your cell phone notifies you that your call has dropped.

Scream loudly. Hope nobody calls 911.

F*ck this Sh*t.



  1. Fkn-A jeezuskrist.

    Sorry--your post conveyed your frustration so well that even I feel pissed -- I guess that is good writing!

  2. I broke two cordless phones this way. F*ckers at PG&E (Pacific Gas & Electric) still owe me!

  3. Oh man..can they make this any harder??

  4. I feel your pain, but I keep laughing over that doctor telling you, "You're not ugly, you're just overweight." :)

    I can't get that out of my head.

  5. So sorry....sending you patience and hoping things improve.

  6. Aaarrgh! Of course, they have to make it as hard as possible in order to maximize the blow to your self-esteem and demonstrate conclusively that ONLY THE WORLD'S BIGGEST IDIOTS get jobs at the unemployment agency.

    OMG Misty what a huge pain in the arse. Well done only screaming ONCE

  8. Anonymous9:42 PM

    LOL!!! I'm so sorry, that totally sucks! (great post, though!)

  9. I'm screaming over here in you hear me?

    I hate that shiz too.

  10. As an unemployment veteran I have but one bit of advice - go to the office. No matter how far away it is - go there. It's the only way.

  11. I'm sorry! I hope it gets better...the hubs had a hard time getting through to anyone too when he was filing. I think it took an hour waiting on the phone to actually speak to a person. :(

  12. Oh, heavens! I have TOTALLY been there! In fact, I was doing the same thing pretty recently. It is so frustrating dealing with unemployment. I am so sorry you are having such issues with it! I hope things get better!!!

  13. I am with 21st Century Mom, go to the unemployment office, it is definitely the best way!

  14. I've been through that approximate scenario with the NJ system THREE TIMES now since starting FUNemployment. I feel your pain, Misty, I truly do!

  15. What an unpleasant string of difficulties (catching up on your blog- a week goes by and bad things happen)! So sorry to hear all this! 1000 cal a day would bring me down too- no wonder you had no energy.

    I didn't realize you have thyroid problems too. That explains alot. I don't know much about it, but take a look at Dr. Davis's site- he has a whole series of posts about hypothyroidism and its affects on health.

    Also, you could be deficient in vitamin D (most of us are apparently) and this could be leading to the autoimmune aspect.

    As for your job, is it possible to start your own practice? It's not for everyone, but it's nice to be your own boss. You seem quite capable of handling the challenge.

    Best of luck!


  16. Well, dang! That sucks. I hope you get that other position you have your eye on. In the meantime, I hope the unemployment office answers the phone. That's ridiculous!


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