Thursday, January 21, 2010

Thursday Thirteen: the Heavy Edition

13.  DITZY.  Thursday of last week, I forgot my purse.  I warmed up my car, chatted with Baboo for a bit, and headed out the door, across town, to work, without my purse, ID, gas card. Oh, and also, my gas light was on when I got to work.  So, no gas, no way to buy any.  $#it.  

12.  DITZY, part 2.  Luckly, I'm such a scatterbrain, that I had stuffed some bills into my computer bag, which was in my car (with no computer in it, of course) and so I was able to get some gas.

11.  SELF-CARE.  I'm getting pretty good at leaving work at work.
Still.  I read pages and pages of tragic lives.  My job involves reading pages of medical records and history, and putting together a puzzle.  The puzzle is, what's wrong with this kid?  What's the best way to treat him, her?

One thing I suspected before but never knew for sure, is this: If I believed in devils, and I believed in evil, I would believe that heroin was sent here to create hell.  For the people who get addicted to it, and the ones who love them, it is hell.  It's an ugly, ugly thing.  

Once you've looked into the gaunt face of a young teenager who has already lost the bloom of youth, and who would do anything, anything for more smack, you'll know it too.   

10.  I leave work behind by leaving it behind.

9.  Of course, I did the Ghost Town 38.5...

8.  One Saturday morning a few weeks ago, I woke up and couldn't stop crying.  I was lying next to Baboo, and he was talking to me, and I was weeping.  It was crazy.  And scary.  I didn't want to kill myself or anything.  I jsut couldn't stop crying.  I have a fantastic life.  All the rest of the day, I felt tired, and had to fight back tears.

Depression runs in my family.  My mother tried to eat her way out of it.  My father killed himself.  My sister turned to religion--I mean heavy, heavy religion.  

So I started reading stuff about natural ways to deal with depression.  I got out in the sunshine.  And I bought some fish, and some fish oil.  As you know, I have been a long time veghead.  But here it is, when push comes to shove, and it's the fish or me, I pick me.    

7.  DreadPirate really pisses me off.  Stupid perky race pictures.  how come she looks so great and I look like someone dropped an anvil on me?

6.  I broke my first non-resolution today: I joined weightwatchers.  My first day, I blew out all my extra points.  For the week.

5.  So here's the problem: There are people who like to bake where I work.  Also, the place is a "drop off" point for a local purveyor of baked goods.  Once a week: fresh-baked herbed breads, rolls...ohhhhh.  This is bad.  really, really bad.

4.  Here's my schedule:
Monday, work 7:30 to 4:30; class 6:00 to 9:00
Tuesday, work 7:30 to 4:30; class 6:00 to 9:00
Wednesday, work 7:30 to 4:30; teach 5:00 to 7:00
Thursday, work 7:30 to 4:30; class 6:00 to 9:00
Friday, work 7:30 to 4:30.

Yeah, me too.  No idea when I'm going to get most of my workouts in.

3.  Baboo and I went to the climbing gym again.  Dude . DUUUUDE.  I love this.  I somehow have to fit it in with full time work, graduate school, and ironman training.  but fit it in, I will.

2. Your tax dollars at work.  This is the first time I've ever worked in private industry since leaving college.  New Mexico hired this company last year (Google: OptumHealth Fines) to manage the state insurance (because we can't trust the government with healthcare) and they stopped paying their bills.  The state warned them, and then fined them over a million bucks.  Then they announced that they were putting this particular job up for bid.
Almost immediately, Optum got very, very stingy.  Managed care sucks, that's all I'm going to say.  But I have a plan: I'm reading the rules book for OptumHealth New Mexico closely, to do what my mentor in college told me.  He was a wise man, and he said to me once, very seriously:
Misty, rules were made to be used against the people who made them.


1. i will not eat any more free bread and cookies.  
i will not eat any more free bread and cookies.
i will not eat any more free bread and cookies.  
i will not eat any more free bread and cookies.  
i will not eat any more free bread and cookies.
i will not eat any more free bread and cookies.
i will not eat any more free bread and cookies.



  1. Anonymous1:57 PM

    Climbing gyms rock. Especially when it's @ss-cold outside.

    Better to chant what you INTEND to eat, right? Your brain ignores all things 'not', 'don't', 'won't' anyway...

  2. Anonymous2:11 PM

    I love hearing about your job! I wish you could share more, but obviously I understand why you can't. I interned at a wilderness/residential treatment facility for adolescents this past fall. Didn't think it was for me at first, but then quickly realized that I LOVED IT! I graduate soon and that's definitely the type of setting I want to work in!

  3. Fresh fruits & Vegetables!
    Fresh fruits & Vegetables!
    Fresh fruits & Vegetables!
    Rah! Rah! Rah!

  4. Free bread and cookies would be a problem for me!

  5. "rules were made to be used against the people who made them"

    bloody brilliant.

  6. I'm gonna use that quote from your mentor . Way to go on the Ghost Town!

    Maybe time for a TSH/T3/T4 check? Might also be worth getting cortisol/DHEA checked (a 24h 4-sample saliva test). If adrenal stuff is off, makes keeping the thyroid stuff in balance harder. (apparently there's something called the ovarian-adrenal-thyroid axis, and if they're not "in balance", stuff can go awry, including mood swings)

    You continue to impress and inspire me with all your accomplishments, efforts and plans!


Comments containing links to commercial websites from people with invisible profiles are deleted immediately. Spammers are immediately deleted.

...and I, I have a goal.

Dear Diary, For the first time in 7 years I have a goal. It takes a lot to get me motivated.  I am the demotivation queen.  The princess...