Friday, May 07, 2010

You can't spell CRAMPS without CRAP.

I am going through a movie soundtrack phase.  Specifically, the sountracks from "A beautiful mind" and "The legend of Bagger Vance."  So people walking by my office often do a double-take, because there's always music coming through the door, with swells and choruses, and it's dramatic, but peacefully so.  I already have a reputation for having a very peaceful office, mainly because, well, if you work with mentally ill children or children who have had horrific lives, you need some place of refuge; and 2) I figure if you're a parent bringing your child to a psychiatric hospital, maybe it's nice to have a peaceful place to gather your thoughts together while you formulate an answer to the question, did he tell you why he tried to smother the baby?

(the answer to that question, by the way, is very important.  There are good reasons to try to smother a baby, and bad reasons, diagnostically speaking.  and then there are just reasons.  And if you are seven years old, the answer to that question can make a huge difference in your future.)  

But I digress.

Thursday morning Sweet Baboo informed me that a couple from where he worked was coming over to do a trail with is.  Tonight.  uh, okay.

I really just hate, hate, hate it when my attempts to be extremely lazy are thwarted, don't you?  it's like, you are all ready with your stock of excuses of why you can't do your workout, and then, WHAM! Someone or somebody shows up  and you're stuck, so you can't get out of it: you must do something active.  

The problem with Thursday, however, was that it was another super busy day when I wasn't able to eat.  I need to start packing cold sandwiches, so that I can grab a bit or two between families, because honestly, it's a bit crass to sit across from weeping parents with a mentally ill child and be stuffing a fork full of stuff into my mouth while I'm saying something like, and what were the voices saying to you?  

Suffice to say that about a mile into this little 4 mile run I was thinking, who tied these bricks to my feet? and slogging it up and down the hills, several cramps and stitches in my side.  Sweet Baboo, meanwhile, I shit you not, was doing this: he would run ahead about a few hundred yards, and then turn around and run back to where I was, and then back behind me to our guests, and then up ahead a bit more.  Over 4 miles, he logged an extra mile point three doing this.  I'm not making this shit up, Mr. Injured knee thing was scampering around the trails like effing Pan.  

I was seriously thinking about tripping him.  I go to very dark places when I'm bonking.  At the same time, there was a swarm of mountain bikers flying by us, and WHY DO I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THEIR WAY? but so anyway, I couldn't possibly communicate to you how temping it was to trip him.  He was just too happy.  Is it just me?  Am I just sick, sick sick when I want happy cheerful energetic people to suffer?    Please tell me it's not just me.  

So, it's not like I bonked during a 4 mile trail run.  It's like I had a 4-mile-long bonk.  

And, I have been extreeeeemly lazy the past couple weeks. It's distressing how fast that fitness slips away, but even so, without any fuel - I'd had 1 cup of instant coffee with creme and one small healthy choice fresh steamers meal about 11 am for the day - and to drink, and I worked hard.  On that I ran 4 hot, dehydrated, hilly 4 miles.  

As RBR says, boo-fucking-hoo.  4 miles.  I know.  So maybe tomorrow, I'll actually eat something before I run, and I'll know how well I'm really doing. 

This Sunday, I'll do the Jay Benson sprint triathlon for the 4th time.  We'll see.



  1. we use the term 'bonk' quite differently here (it's a euphemism for, err, conjugal felicity), so although I understood what you meant - and sympathised with how horrid it must have been - the thought of a 4-mile bonk made me giggle

  2. Anonymous1:47 PM

    way to gut it out...and good luck with your upcoming sprint race...

  3. So, diagnostically speaking, what are some GOOD reason to smother a baby?

  4. Misty, you crack me up EVERY time I read your blog! thanks for making life so light. Happy Mother's day

  5. My husband does the equivalent when we go out for a bike ride. I feel like he is a shepherd and I am his sheep. And to make it a little more humiliating his heart rate monitor is beeping because his heart rate is too low!!! I am tempted to curse extensively in response to his words of encouragement, but that would be rude.

  6. Ooooh, I ran that same run last week. The "what the f&*^ am I doing out here? I hope she decides to cut the run short, or I get hit by a bus, either is good with me" run.

    Yeah, eating pre-run does make a huge difference in attitude. :)


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