Monday, March 16, 2009

OMG, What are you DOING in there?

If it's Monday, I must be ranting about something.  It's not that I'm a negative person; I'm actually pretty positive.  It's just that there are some things that get under my skin and I can only vent about them here, where it's safe.

Today's rant is short. 

There is a single stall bathroom (WC, for our international friends) near my office.  Inevitably, I will need to go.  [Read: NEED TO GO.  Not, "want to go" not, "feel kinda like going"] because of course with all my goals for 2009 comes the extra water every day and I'm like a RACEHORSE these days, not that I'm sleek and fast but that, well, you know.

So there's no sign that lights up or anything saying, "occupied."  I come out of my office, walk confidently to the women's room, and grab that knob that doesn't turn.  

Okay.  Now.  The door knob makes an undeniable noise when it fails to turn.  It is then clear to all but the most hard-of-hearing person that someone just tried to walk into the bathroom, and is probably waiting.  I should know, because I'm hard-of-hearing, and I've heard it.  Sooooo, I lean against the wall for what seems to be an intermitably LONG time.  

OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?  Why does it take women so long to use the bathroom?

I'm a chick, but C'MON!!  What the hell takes so long?  You sit, do your business, wipe, wash your hands, and LEAVE.  In fact, since it's a hospital, there's hand sanitizer every 2 feet: you don't even have to wash your hands.  JUST GET OUT!!
What else is there that could possibly be keeping you in there for such a long time?  

It's not just work that does it.  It happens everywhere.  SO.  I have become adept at simply walking out of line and going into the mensroom (only the ones that lock) becuase, I mean, what the hell people, I mean, it's probably violating some ordinance somewhere, but more often that not it has exactly the same facilities as the women's rooms, so why is there even a difference...

BTW, I will tell you that mens rooms, on the whole, are far more disgusting than you can imagine - filthier than women's rooms.  

But that's another subject for another day.



  1. ITA, I'm like a dude except I sit. Also, I've never understood my girlfriends that want me to "go with them to the bathroom because they don't want to go by themselves." WTF?

  2. Hah.. Funny post.. I'm fortunate that we don't have any 'singles' here at work.

    My wife claims the womens rooms are more dirty than the mens... hrms.

  3. It is nice to see that I'm not the only one who has used the men's room when the women's is occupied for ages. I'm pretty sure people are taking baths in the sink; it shouldn't take that long and if it does you need to seek medical attention or eat more fiber.

  4. I am like you and only willing to wait for so long before I hit the men's room. Although the horror of their hygiene as a whole makes me stand in the girl's bathroom line a little longer.


  5. I've never understood it, either. What's to do in there that takes so long?

    I can understand the one-person restroom situation a little easier than the big restroom with stalls, though. If there's a line for the stalls, I think we owe it to our sisters to get in, get out, and adjust our clothing over by the sinks or something. But do most women do that? Heck, no.

    About 15 years ago we had a lawsuit here, where a woman was arrested for using a men's room at a public event because she was about to wet herself and couldn't wait any longer. I was a party coordinator for a nightclub at the time and helped organize the victory party for the lawyer who won the "pottygate" case. The outcome of the lawsuit was a change in public restroom requirements in Houston, that there must be more for women than for men, since women take longer.

    Still doesn't answer the question of what takes so long, though...

  6. OBVIOUSLY-these people did not grow up in a family with 6 women sharing a bathroom, where you had to "do your business" in 5 seconds or less..That is such a pet peeve of mine too..As I am standing outside the door, I am practically mumbling out loud: what the hell are you doing in there?
    So glad to hear someone talk about this!

  7. Besides taking care of biz,
    There is:
    medicating (not always prescribed meds, if you know what I mean),
    and napping.
    I'm just saying.

  8. hahaha. at my work there are people who go in the bathroom to take naps. NO LIE. haha. i've resorted to going up or down a floor myself. i usually wait until the absolute last minute to go so i am bursting anyway.


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