Thursday, December 23, 2010

I've eaten far too much this week. Thursday 13.

Dear Diary,

13) This week has been a very, very, very bad week.  And I've been a very, very, very bad girl.  On Friday, one of my coworkers walked by me and mentioned, "oh, hey, Sarah has baclava in her office".


I have a few weaknesses. Fried chicken (especially wings).  Mellowcream pumpkins.  Chocolate-covered cherries.  Chocolate-covered pretzels.  Nearly any kind of Hershey's kiss.  Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.  Yoo-hoo.  Chilled, fresh, boiled shrimp.  Fruit breads.   (Okay, I guess there's a lot of weaknesses...)

But baclava.  I took a piece.  And then another.  And......then another.  No, I did not look up how many points it was - I didn't want to know.  But finally, after I ate all three pieces, I did.  and it was a shock.  between 6 and 9 points per.  I basically blew out a day's worth of points, in a week that i was recovering and not running much.

So that night I went home, and ate broth and vegetables and felt hungry.

TOTALLY worth it.

12.  Last week, I had a meeting at my college about my final year, which is just an internship.  I got there a half hour early, went into the computer lab, then to my meeting, and then as I was walking to my car I couldn't find my keys.
 And then, unbelievably, as I approached my car I realized my car was parked, keys in it, unlocked, and running.  Jeez.  They should just put me a home and get it over with.

For the record, I've done this before, except last time I left it running while I taught high school all day.

11.  I started my speedwork this week.  Here is the profile: okay, scratch that.  For reasons I'll explain below.

10.  This week Sweet Baboo became Captain Baboo (still Sweet).  He joined the Army National Guard, something he's been thinking of doing for a while.  They needed a psychologist for a new mental health initiative, and he has prior military experience, so they offered him a very sweet deal.  Access to the base, 2ndary health benefits for both of us, retirement after 14 years (he has 6 year prior military experience)...and big fat incentive bonuses for getting a psychologist to join the guard.  Suh-weet

AND, of course, I get to see him in uniform, whenever I want.  :-))))))

9.  This past weekend, we had our annual "bling" party.  The partiers took off and left me all sorts of naughty food items: a tray of Krispy Kreme donuts, homemade truffles, bottles of wine, cookies...oh, my.  Look for my weight ticker to tick up a bit during the next week.

8. Saturday I started out on what was supposed to be a 20 mile run.  After 5 miles I knew that given my cold and the 2 marathons I did the past couple weekends, it was too much, too soon.  I was moving pretty slowly on the way back, maybe a 12 minute mile, and then about two miles from the car, it happened.  Pain.  Pain that got slowly worse, until I walked the last quarter mile.  Pain between my Achilles and my calf.  DAMMIT.  It's Monday, and it still hurts.   I've iced, and taken Advil.  I hope this goes away soon.

7. It's Thursday, and this still hurts.  I'll be putting heel cups in my shoes and trying to run in THAT.  Dammit.  Dammit, dammit, dammit.

6. Today I gave an IQ test to a kid with an IQ of 137.  But she can't make an "angry" face, or describe what an angry face looks like, because she doesn't know how to read faces.  That's a bit of a handicap.  You don't know how to behave around people if you can't get a read on how your behavior is affecting them.  interesting.  my job is sooooo interesting.

5.  At the same time, though, I have moments of self-pity and doubt, usually triggered by something stupid. I look around me and see people my age who have established careers and accomplishments and I am, essentially, doing the work of a 24-year-old fresh out of grad school.  It's a little depressing from time to time.  It doesn't help that I can't go run it off.  I have to keep reminding myself that I'm starting over, and that's that.  Suck it up, princess.  Life's tough all over.

4.  Thing that triggered my latest round of feeling like a peon was when I went to a psych hospital that wanted to transfer a kid to us, to assess the kid.  I'm of the opinion that some receptionists in those places are drunk with power.  This one asked if I had an appointment (I had, but nobody told her), told me to wait, told me to lock up my assessment items, and then told me that since I was taking my assessment items with me, I would have to be searched.  At the end of all that she informed me that since I had a cold, I wasn't going to be let in anyway.  It took every bit of strength I had to lift my chin, walk out, and not tell her what a bitch she is.
At times like this I take things on and take them in and assume it's me, something about me, that's at fault, and I'm a huge loser.  Hence, #5.

3.  A little poundcake, and some wine, and I felt better.  Thank goodness for the women I work with.  I'm convinced that they  just spend all their off time baking stuff to take to work and Christmas is their favorite time of year.  This week we've had banana bread, zuchini bread, pound cake, fruit cake, all manner of cookies, bars, tarts, and a casserole or two.  My blood is pretty much flour, oil, and sugar at this point.  It's going to be a hard crash after the holidays, when I go through baked good withdrawal.  I'm getting pretty used to my 10 am and 2 pm sugar fix

2.  Have you ever watched a movie with someone who continually states the obvious, "Oh, my gosh, he's got fat hands." "Wow, that ship exploded to pieces" "Oh my gosh, he fell in that hole."  How do you stop from throwing objects at that person?  Any ideas are welcome.  I have to bite my tongue not to yell, "I know he fell in thh hole BECAUSE I WAS WATCHING IT TOO SO SHUT THE F*** UP!!"
No, you don't say that to your guests.  It's unseemly.

1. I mentioned that  last weekend we had our bling party.  If you don't know what that is, it's when you get together with your other insane multisport friends and everybody wears their bib numbers, hats, socks, finisher's medals, awards, whatever, from the year.  Last year someone had a Boston finisher's medal, and we were all, ooooo AHHHHHHH.  And there are awards.  Baboo got an award for most run miles for 2010.  I mentioned that I got an award: "Most Improved".  I got a stopwatch.  :0)

To have your super fast and fit friends to give you an award like this is pretty darned gratifying.  My goal, for 2011, is to get it again.

Cheers.  Happy Holidays.  Go run off some egg nog.  Or pound cake.



  1. Does your #6 kid have Aspergers? I've had several students with it. Very interesting for sure. I've been reading a great blog by a man who has Aspergers. He works as an advocate now, and though he functions very well he definitely still deals with lots of issues related to it and writes about his experiences. It's been really useful for me to have some of those thought processes explained, bc it's such a helpful glimpse into how my kiddos may be processing things. If you're interested, it's

    I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas!

  2. OMG. Yoo-hoo. It's my kryptonite. Along with Sonic chili cheese tater tots. I have wondered, often, whether I could use Yoo-hoo as a recovery drink. Hmmmmmm . . . probably not.

  3. Oh, and re: (4), when I meet you in June, remind me to tell you allll about the time(s)!!!! I was asked to remove my undergarments to get in to see a client. . . .

  4. Ah the holidays - what a whiplash of good and bad feelings, blessings and stress and of course the food issues. I'm considering trying to give up or severely limit refined sugar and packaged food and snacks (sweets, but probably not baked chips or pretzels though) next year - what the heck, I'm gluten-free, soy-free and almost dairy-free, and on a low-acid/ulcer/GERD diet - why not add one more restriction?! (but I'm not going back to being vegetarian)

    Re #5 - I hear echoes of my own issues in this...having gone back to school and getting a bachelors' at 26, now a 44 y.o. with a career I'm ready to be done with and a perspective altered by surviving cancer and watching my sister do it twice with worse cancers, trying to figure out how I can get myself to where I seem to want to go work and living wise - which means starting over AGAIN at some point, maybe getting a new degree, less pay, need insurance, moving again. Darn it, I hate when you know what you really need to do and you know it will be a tough row to hoe. (hey, kinda like training!) But what's the alternative? Living the one short and finite life we're given to meet someone else's ideals (most of whom are just trying to sell us something anyway)?

    You may feel self-pity and doubt sometimes, but you're doing what means something to you and helping people (and your readers!) regardless of what it "looks like". Frankly, you look pretty da*ned accomplished, impressive and inspiring to me! and you never know - the people who look "successful" could be miserable and feel worthless, filled with self-pity and doubt.

    It takes guts to do the things you've done and are doing, and courage and fortitude to stay on your own path. Thanks for sharing, rough edges and all.

    I hope 2011 is a great year for you and Baboo!


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 I'm no longer involved in multisport or endurance sports. I've started my own business, a psychotherapist specializing in anxiety d...