Thursday, December 06, 2007

Is it me? It's her, isn't it?

Okay, so the phone rings. My heart sinks as I realize it's my newly married 19-year-old daughter.

Let me explain why by telling you how this conversation goes.

Daughter: Hi, Mom! I'm at a chinese, or something, store, and I was wondering--what are those noodle bowl things called that you used to eat all the time?

Me: You know, sweetie, I 'used to' eat those because they are really high in calories and saturated fat.

Daughter: Oh, really? Wow. So, do you remember what they're called? HEY! Wasabi cachews! Mom, do you know anything about cachews?
Me: I know they're really high in fat. I'd stick to wasabi peas.

Daughter mumbles something.

Me: What?

Daughter: I was talking to some else. So, what are you doing?

Me: Cooking sweet potatoes. and talking to you.

Daughter: Cool. (Mumbles some more)

Me: What?

Daughter: Sorry, Mom, not you. Ow! Hey! these are really hot! Oh, my GAWD. These are so hot. (Laughter) You are so mean!

Me: Pardon?

Daughter: Not you, Mom.

Me: Perhaps this isn't a good time...

Daughter: (Mumbles to someone else again. Covers the phone with her hand)

Me: Hello? Hello?

Daughter: (Still muffled conversation)


Daughter: Sorry. Sorry, Mom.

Me: Perhaps this isn't a good time for you to talk?

Daughter: I called you, remember? Of course I want to talk to you!

Me: Yes. I do remember.

Daughter: (Begins another conversation with someone else. This goes on for several minutes) Just a minute, Mom. (Talks to more, and then covers the mouthpiece with her hand.)

Me: HELLO!!!!

Daughter: (Still talking to someone else)


Daughter: (Still mumbling to someone else. Laughter)

Me: BYE!

>click< >ring, ring<

Daughter: Hey! Why'd you hang up on me?


Okay, so it's not me, right? Does this happen to you? This happens EVERY TIME my daughter calls me. I want to talk to her, but golly, this happens three or four times a week, and actually goes on for an hour, if I let it. I say, 'if I let it' beause I happen to have caller ID.

Am I making too big a deal out of this?



  1. It's definitely her.

    I had a friend that used to call me once a year, on my birthday, always from work where she was a receptionist at a dental office so the long distance charge went to her employer. She would blather on about herself for an hour or more, put me on hold a million times, then act like she was too busy to talk when she finally got around to asking about me. I haven't talked with her for a couple fo birthdays now - I have caller ID too..... ;-)

  2. that just strikes me as rude behaviour.

    what would you do if anyone else were rude to you?

  3. My little sister used to do this to me when she was younger. She eventually outgrew it. Now she just yawns the whole time. And, yes, it's still annoying.

  4. Learn her. You played that one a LOT longer than I would have.

  5. Anonymous6:26 AM

    No, that's rude. It's a social contract. You both agree to pay attention to only the other person, and respect that someone is paying a phone company for the privilege.

    The monounsaturated fat in cashews in excellent for you. :)

  6. Chubby, I agree with you (as a former vegan) on point 2...however, my darling only daughter is 5'5" and weighs 230 pounds. She doesn't need to be snacking on cachews. (another post for another day)

  7. Send her a link to the post.

  8. I have the EXACT same thing happen to me with MY MOM!! Every since she went bluetooth it drives me nuts when she calls.

    Nice point!

  9. I have someone who does that to me and it just drives me wild!!! I just hang up though, I don't even say good bye.

  10. Anonymous9:52 AM

    My sister does that to me a lot on the phone! It bugs me so much more than it used to. I will listen to everything she wants to say, and then when she asks about me and I start to talk, she will talk to someone in the background! Finally, I said "stop interrupting me!"

    Relating to the fattening foods, my sister is overweight. It's a very sensitive subject, though. Even if she brings it up, and I suggest just walking or eating healthier, she clams up and says she has to go :(

  11. Sounds rude to me. It's her, not you. :-)

  12. Rude. Tell her it bugs you and ask her not to do it. Do it in an email if it's easier. My daughter is 8 but she's already a teenager in many ways - I try hard to convey to her what behavior I consider disrespectful and unkind. (As a child of the '70's who was never taught manners and who suffered as a result, I am extra-sensitive to this!)

  13. No - you are not over reacting. You have the opposite problem I have with people who are phsycially with me but insist on answering their cell phones every time they ring.

    Here's the deal - BE HERE NOW! That's what I tell my friends. And if they keep being distracted I say "please let me know when you want to visit with me" and I end the visit.

    I'm nobody's phone bitch, damnit!

  14. It's not you. It's her. Clearly she was swapped in the maternity ward.

  15. Tough love...she needs to learn that if she calls you she TALKS TO YOU and no one else...
    I would have done the same thing...!

  16. No, it's not just you. It's ridiculous and rude. My mother does it all the time when she calls me--albeit a slightly less immature version. I don't tolerate it. Good for you for hanging up!

  17. What did you tell her when she asked why you hung up? Just wondering if you took that opportunity to tell her how RUDE she is.

  18. She needs to learn that it is disrespectful, and it can get her in big trouble some day. Who better to learn if from than you?

  19. I've actually told my daughter on several occasions that this annoys the hell out of me. I've decided that in the future I'll simply lay the phone down quietly and walk away. It's her phone call. Maybe after she's wasted a lot of money on the call she'll figure it out. :-)

  20. Hey, she calls. What more can a mom ask for? :)


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